Chapter 1
Gerard
"You're fucking failing out of high school," my father yells at me. It's nothing different; same old and same thing every single day. It's just I don't get it at all. It's not like I'm mentally disorder or anything. I seriously hate dragging my ass to that hellhole. Maybe that's one reason why. Another is mostly because I wanna make music or artwork.
You see, I still will and always believe my dad is a bit overexerting over my grades. Did he even look at my freaking grades in art and music and shit like that? I'm creative; I can't pay attention when it comes to something like science or math. I love to draw and sing; the feel of a 6-string against my fingers feels like someone kissing you (to me is what I mean to say). Everything that I do that involves my creativity; it's my escape from life.
I'm one of those children who you look at and automatically judge. Don't you extremely hate that? If you're in position in high school, you would know what I go through. Imagine you're the strange kid there; you don't like to fit in. You're more of the "punk, depressed kid in the corner" then the one who "fits in with everyone else". You're the one who you're closet friend is your own fucking brother. You're the one who's thrown at gun point because you love standing out. Fucked up right?
I didn't need to hear my dad bitching at me anymore. School isn't "that important" in life. It matters what you're doing though. Anyway, I went upstairs to my room; I also shared this room with my younger brother, Mikey. He was sitting on his bed, strumming at his acoustic guitar. Mikey means…well Mikey means too much to me. He's younger by three years. He like me in ways; of course, we're brothers and shit. He's very creative though like me. He loves to be different too. He was so cute in not just a little brother way; in a way that I want to date him.
Oh, look, there's something else different about me! Ya, I'm gay; I love it because it does scare off people. The weird part is I'm in love with my brother. I'm protective over him; shouldn't ever older brother? It's just feels great being around him. He's the only guy who makes my smile; smile in a way that I have a crush on him. Of course, I never had gone far with a guy. I dated few guys; when Frank thought he was gay, I really experiment.
Ok, so out of my boyfriends, I didn't have a bad one with Frank Iero. Frank is the same age as Mikey but more mature. He understands me, too. I didn't mind it; I mean the only reason we did break up was because Frank found a girlfriend. Ok, I was alright with that. I'm lying a lot; Frank was my first love.
I'm just gonna keep chatting on and on about Frank Iero. He was amazing and knew how to treat me well. It got to points where it was weird. There was obsession from me over him; there was sexually acts pulled by him. I mean, won't you be freaked out if the next second—when you walk into your boyfriend's room—he's laying on his bed, in a sexually way? Not just that, he was wearing fishnets, black stripper heals, and a corset that was totally black with blue and red strings. That's gave me a couple ideas; trust me, I haven't lost my virginity…yet.
To the point, I feel the same way around Mikey that I did when I dated Frank. I felt very open and fuzzy for once. School stress still took over with Frankie. He would always look up at me, lean up and kiss me. He would tell me to stop worrying and that everything will be ok. I always then felt like everything was settled.
Well, I always feel like that with Mikey. I never hide from everything; well…expect the secret that I'm in love with him. I just love everything about him. He was attractive, physically and mentally. As I'm saying this, Mikey slams down on the base of his guitar. I can tell something is bothering him.
He looks up from the tuneful instrument. "Gee," he whispers.
"Hey, buddy," I sat across from him on my own bed. Looking at his guitar, I was seeing his fist clenched up. "Mikey, you been alright lately?" He nods his head no. He looks down, letting his fingers just twang through the cords. He doesn't want to talk about; I try not to fore it out of him. I just can't sit here, knowing his stress about who knew what! "Mikey—"
"IT'S NOTHING!" He growls back, "I swear it's nothing, Gerard. Gosh, just…"
"I'm sorry for being supportive," I shot back. He opens his mouth a bit. He glanced back at his guitar. "Mikey…I didn't—"
He looks up, "Mean it like that? Gerard, do you seriously worry about me?"
Wow, what a stupid question… "Michael," I chuckled. "I always think about you, making sure you're ok. I always want to be there for you. You're my little brother; why won't I care?"
He gets up from his bed and comes over to me. He takes a seat by me, leaning his head on my shoulder. I look to him and kiss his forehead. "Gerard," he whispers. "Has dad threatened you yet?"
"Threaten what to me, Mikey?" I wrapped my arms around him. He was shaking; I never seen Mikey so scared. He rarely shows it.
He grabs my hand, grasping it. The clutch was too tight; at points, the blood was probably not flowing. Tears were escaping quickly like an overflowed river. Gosh, I wanna kiss you and tell you everything will be alright…whatever it is that is scaring him. "Mikes, you going to tell me what's up?"
He started breaking down. I held him closer, letting him ruin as much of my black t-shirt. I rubbed his back, telling him it's alright. Finally, he tells me what's going on. It shocked me; I couldn't breathe or talk. I start to choke on air, nothing really. This can't be true. He's just scaring us. He always threatens us with this. No, this just can't happen.
I start to shed tears. I have to be strong; I can't show Mikey I'm weak. But what happens when Mikey dies in my arms in the middle of the war?