Two tough broads having a sort of friends with benefits sort of relationship. You don't see much Yuri around these parts so, I'm just gonna leave this here. A total crack pairing.

:D I might make more, I dunno yet. It was fun to write to be honest.

LizzyxTammy.

It wasn't strange being all alone with Lizzy on the weekends.

It was like she took custody away from Ken to spend time with me. Almost as if the two were divorced and I was the unfortunate child.

In actuality, people did find it strange that I hang out with her. Lizzy could be a real asshole but that's what everyone else saw. Under that façade, there was something special about her.

We're closer than the average friend. Lizzy and I didn't exactly have a… normal friendship. It had this weird, almost bizarre feel to it.

To be honest, I'm not sure what we are but I love it nonetheless.

I peered into the bathroom mirror, staring intently at my reflection.

How did I grow up so fast?

I mean, I was just eleven not too long ago, moving into a new place called South Park. Fast forward ten years and here I am. Still living in this shitty town. Twenty-one and just as clueless and naïve as before. I feel like I haven't grown a bit. Why am I so unrecognizable?

I heard a loud voice boom from the living room, interrupting my musings. "Tammy get your ass in here! It doesn't take that long to put on your pajamas." I let out a loud sigh, rolling my eyes. "Did you fall in to the toilet again? You're such a dumb shit!" I could hear her cocky laugh echo.

Bitch.

I chewed the inside of my cheek, shimmying into my pajama pants. I could hear her pipe up again. "Tammy! Where art thooou?"

I lost my temper, screaming back. "Can I have, like, five minutes to put on these goddamn pants?!"

"You could always not put them on. You have the nicest pair of legs in all of South Park." I could hear her snort. "Not even the slightest dimple. They're rockin' and you know it!"

I stole another glance in the mirror. I tied my hair up before straightening myself out, trying to look a little presentable. Well, better not keep her waiting. I hurried down the stairs to the living room.

The first thing I noticed was how dark it was. From the iridescent glow of the TV, I spotted the loud mouth. Lizzy was sprawled out on the couch in her usual sleeping attire. Over that over-sized shirt of hers was that pink parka.

She never took it off. Ever. The color reminded me of bubble gum.

Lizzy sat up with a smile spreading across her face like a demented Cheshire. I thought she was going to say something nice but noooo, that would be unlike her. "You look prettier for bed than you do in the day time."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Don't get your thong in a knot. It's just a joke."

Huffing, I plopped beside her. On the TV it was some horror flick. Instead of blood and guts there was a smug bitch on the screen spouting out bad tag lines while shooting down zombies. Truthfully, it was corny. You can't mix horror and humor.

You can't mix two things that certainly don't go together and expect them to work.

While being distracted by the terrible movie, a hand traced up my thigh. I nearly hopped out of my seat. My hand clenched up in a fist, ready to deck her. I froze when she pulled on the fabric. "You like boy bands?"

My eyes wandered down to the faces of the boys on my pajama pants. My cheeks heated up with embarrassment.

Meet Lizzy.

This girl in the pink parka was the epitome of Kenny McCormick.

She was almost exactly the same as him. Still funny, still cute and still just as dirty and filthy but she had her own flavor. A real spit fire despite her tiny figure. Lizzy was... incredibly outspoken. Half the time it's hard to tell whether she's joking or not.

The direct gender bend of my current boyfriend.

Oh! And my name is Tammy!

...Oh, you don't know me and Lizzy?

Well, let's refresh your memory. I'm Tammy Warner. You know, the girl who gave Dave Darsky a blowjob in the parking lot of a restaurant. But, hey! Let's not talk about that. I'm a changed gal... I like to think anyways.

Meanwhile, Lizzy was the schoolyard bully. 'Doughnut puncher, rump ranger, butt pirate', it just rolls off her tongue. Every guy to her was emasculate and could never live up to her standards. From what I heard, she was implacably hard to please.

Hard to please in more ways than one because of her quick temper.

And ironically, she's more into women than men. I mean, if you couldn't tell from the porn stacked on her bedside and the posters on her walls. That doesn't mean she's just into women. She gives me a list of guys she would screw and had screwed on a daily basis… constantly. Ugh, those stories. Just mentioning of them makes me shiver.

And my chest was really shivering! Just bringing it up really must have shaken me up. I felt another vibration coming from my chest... Oh, I almost forgot I put my phone in my bra. See, I'm that type of girl, ditzy. Besides, pockets are for losers.

Before I could even lift a finger, Lizzy was under my shirt, grabbing around at anything that wasn't shaped like a cellphone. She bypassed it about four times as she groped around. Goddamn pervert. She's definitely Kenny's twin.

Lizzy snatched up my cell, scooting far away from me. I about climbed up her back as I protested loudly, "Gimme my phone!"

She held it away from me with a giggle. Lizzy began reading the text aloud. "Oh my god, that Kenny is still the same from when I dated him. 'Tam-cat, I miss you so much. Can't wait to hang out tomorrow'. A lie if I've ever heard of one. What it really means is that his- Ow!"

I clawed at her with my fake nails. The girl in the pink parka was snorting and giggling. I wasn't going to push it too much. Lizzy was a petite little shit and I was stronger but she fought tough. She wasn't afraid to send me rolling off the couch if she had to.

"Tam-cat? Why the hell does Kenny call you something so stupid? You're obviously not a cat."

"Lizzy," I whined loudly, "Please, give me back my phone."

The girl in the pink parka tossed it at me. "You're so cute when you're angry." I hauled off and punched her in her arm. "Oh! My feelings!" she grabbed her heart, acting faint. "Abuse isn't funny! Are you trying to do untold mental damage to my fragile mindset?"

"Lizzy, has anyone ever told you that you're a raging bitch?"

"Whatever, you're such a rug muncher."

"I'm not a lesbian." I crossed my arms in a fit. "If anything I'm straight."

She sputtered and laughed, poking at my cheek. As if she was berating me! "That's not what the sex says. I'm not a lesbian per say either but that doesn't mean you aren't a rug muncher. In fact I think you're a kitty puncher."

I stuck my tongue out blowing raspberries at her as she did the same. We both shared a laugh.

Lizzy's face brightened as she went through her parka pocket, holding up an illuminated screen. "This is my boytoy, isn't Craig just dreamy as hell?"

"Yuck, Craig is such a flake." I gagged for emphases. That hunk of skin was nothing but a… hunk of skin. Not one goddamn emotion ever showed up on his face. His constant smoking and badass attitude was enough to make me puke. That crap isn't attractive to me.

"A yummy flake. He's a completely different person in the sack. One time he-"

"Lizzy, no. Stop." I plugged my fingers in my ears. "No more escapades."

Oh my god, I hate when she goes on about her sex life. You know, I'll sit around and talk about my escapades briefly like any sane person but Lizzy. She isn't exactly clean. She was like Kenny but ten times trashier. The way she explains everything makes me sick to my stomach. Her language and just the... in detail descriptions. If you want to see truckers turn heads, she's the girl. I don't think her mama ever gave her the soap.

We sat there watching the movie for a little while before she turned to me.

"Tell me about Kenny. Does he treat you good?" she played with the bottom of my shirt, her stubby nails teasing my skin.

"Kenny is Kenny." I shrugged. "He's going to do his thing and have a girl for every day of the week. 'Flavors' as he calls it."

"Same old Kenny." Lizzy dragged me up into her arms, pecking my cheek. "Am I your flavor?"

Lizzy wasn't a flavor like Kenny's girls... right? No, Lizzy was different. She was something much more than some girl.

"Bubble gum, just like this parka."

"I didn't mean technically but I'll take it." Lizzy's hands settled on my waist, her fingers creeping up my stomach. The way her nails scraped left a trail of goose bumps. "You know they call Kenny the screwdriver."

Huh, I've never heard of that nickname. "Really?"

"Because when he screws you, you either go to turn to side or the other." I stared at her blankly. Lizzy started to get more and more annoyed by the second.

"What...?"

"It's a joke. Goddamn Tammy, are you always this dense?"

"Are you always such a bitch?" I spat back.

We shared another school girlish laugh. We weren't paying any attention to the movie playing on the TV. We were too busy chatting and... it was fun. It was a lot of fun! I haven't laughed like this in a long time. Last weekend maybe but other than that... I think she's the only one that can make me laugh.

Me and Lizzy... We sure are weird.

Lizzy's tone became serious as she spoke up abruptly. "You shouldn't date someone who treats you like a rebound girl. You need to find someone who you can actually connect with emotionally and not some guy who dresses up like a traffic cone."

At least she's always been there for me.

"Kenny can be just about a bigger prick than I am. He isn't your type. He doesn't fall in love. He says he does but… Your relationship with him is just one-sided. I know you really love him but Kenny is Kenny."

"Yeah, you're right." I knew she was telling the truth.

"That's why I just stay single. It's much more fun. I know I'm not faithful but that's why I don't get myself into relationships. Life is about having fun. Why be tied down to a guy you know is going to leave in a few years when you can spend your time doing what you want?"

I could feel my eyes well up with tears. Kenny doesn't talk to me like this. Lizzy is different. Lizzy isn't Kenny. She's nothing like him.

Feminine digits brushed my cheeks, tugging my face close. "Tam, are you okay?"

My eyes met Lizzy's. Blue pools, just like Kenny's. I spoke out almost too quickly. "I love you."

I smashed my lips to hers in near tears. It wasn't those playful kisses we always shared. No, it was almost sorrowful and depraved. It left a bitter taste in my mouth as we bit and pried. It took everything I had not to sob right then and there.

I broke away, fumbling into her, hiding my face in her chest. "Please don't hurt me too, Lizzy." I sputtered into her shirt."I wish I could be like you. You're so sweet and nice and... You're-"

"Jesus," her embrace deepened. I could feel her warm breath on my ear. "Come on, don't cry. Don't waste those tears on that doughnut puncher."

Lizzy and I didn't exactly have a… normal friendship like most of the other girls I knew. Whatever we were, I never wanted it to change. This weird relationship and this connection… I didn't want it to end.

I've never been this close to anyone before. It's this so confusingly wonderful. It's absolutely wonderful. When I'm with her, I feel like we're a billion miles from our problems. Bills, school, everything just melts away and I feel this overwhelming feeling of comfort wash over me.

"I mean it though! You are."

You don't know how beautiful it is.

"Yeah, I know Tam... Ditto."

So, all those nights I spent with Lizzy... I don't regret them because, she was always there and ready to listen. Lizzy wasn't like some girl Kenny would date for one day of the week. She wasn't a flavor. She was so much more than that.