Author: LegolasLover
Title: What Happens When Frodo Swallows The Eye of Sauron
Rating: PG (slightly gory)
Feedback: Yes please! i_must_be_good@somethingorother.com
Distribution: Whatever...
Disclaimer: As usual, I am not Tolkien and do not own LotR. And you don't either.
Summary: Don't you think the title kinda gives it all away? PLEASE REVIEW!!!
Notes: Set somewhere at Mordor, sometime near the destruction of the ring, with some characters from Middle earth... This is a bloody short story. Please don't complain if it's not as funny as my other one. The idea was sudden and unexplainable. Plz review!!!!!
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ *
"I may not be able to carry the ring, but I can carry you!" Sam cried.
He hauled Frodo over his shoulder and proceeded to stumble up the rocks toward Mordor and the Eye of Sauron. The Eye was scanning the area, shining out upon the rocks. As it sept towards the hobbits, Sam ducked in an effort to avoid being seen. The light missed him by millimetres.
Sam clambered up the rocks until he could go no further. He dropped Frodo from his back and lay against a large boulder to catch his breath. Frodo mumbled something quietly.
"What was that Mister Frodo?" Sam asked.
"I...said... that I.... can hear... something... familiar..." Frodo breathed.
"I cannot hear a thing Mister Frodo," answered Sam.
"Listen.... closely."
Sam fell silent, ears searching for a familiar sound. Then, he heard it. It sounded very much like hundreds of small animals stampeding over a hill towards them. He looked at Frodo.
"No way... I-It can't possibly be...."
Frodo shrugged.
Both hobbits turned their heads in the direction of the sound. In the distance they could see a large mass of furry things, moving very fast towards them. Rabbits.
"Lay low Mister Frodo," instructed Sam. But Frodo seemed unable to look away from the steadily advancing creatures. They reached the hobbits and stopped, noses twitching. Sam lunged at Frodo and pulled him down.
"Don't stare at them. You'll provoke them!"
Frodo smiled. "Sam, I wasn't looking at the rabbits. I was looking at that." The hobbit pointed at the ground nearby. Lying just next to the mob of rabbits, barely visible against the dusty ground, was a sausage. Sam looked amazed. "Do you think..."
"Yes Sam, I do believe that it is the same sausage that you threatened the rabbits with the last time our paths crossed."
Sam reached out his hand and closed his fingers around the long piece of processed meat. He gripped it tight, and lifted it in the air. It was his "Lethal Sausage of Doom". He looked ready to throw it at the rabbits, or at least threaten them with it. But instead, he drew it towards his mouth and took a large bite.
Frodo gagged. "Sam! Who knows where that has been. It's not even cooked!"
But Sam had already finished stuffing the sausage in his mouth and was chewing up the last of the uncooked meat. The rabbits still sat very close to them, twitching their noses and glancing in every direction. Frodo stared at them evilly. The rabbits froze and stared back, just as menacingly as the hobbit. Suddenly, they all darted away. They were headed for the Eye!
"Stupid creatures," Frodo remarked. "They're going to get themselves killed."
The rabbits reached the Eye. The leader tutted something to the others, which meant something along the lines of, "Stupid hobbits. They're going to get themselves killed."
Then, the Eye turned to the rabbits. It faced them for a while. The lead rabbit tutted to the Eye, and the Eye seemed to nod. Sam and Frodo gazed out at the spectacular scene of a mob of rabbits seemingly talking to the Eye of Sauron.
While they were busy staring in wonderment, the Eye turned in their direction. It shone it's searching beam upon them and paralysed Frodo where he was standing. The helpless hobbit's mouth was forced open and the Eye suddenly zoomed towards him. It shrunk enormously and exploded down Frodo's throat. The momentum carried it down to his stomach. All was silent. Then...
KABOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!
"FRODOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Sam screamed.
Frodo exploded into minuscule pieces. Blood and guts splattered everywhere, and covered Sam in a thick gooey slime. All that remained of his friend were tiny pieces of flesh scattered all across the ground. Several bloody organs littered the rocks nearby. Sam collapsed on the rocky ground, bits of Frodo's intestines wrapped around his neck.
"WHY!!!!!!!!!!!! WHY FRODO?!!!!?!?"
He burst into tears and pounded his fists on the rocks in fury. One of his fists hit a small gold object. It cut into his hand. A fragment of the ring. It had to be.
"So the ring has been destroyed. But Frodo is dead! WHY!!! WHY DID YOU TAKE MY FRODO FROM ME???" Sam sobbed.
Sam lay on the ground crying until several large eagles swooped down. One picked him up in it's talons. He was so exhausted that he fell asleep.
*
As they were flying over a large lake, the eagle holding Sam released it's hold on him and let him fall to the water below. A large splash could be heard as his body hit the water and sunk beneath the surface. He floated downstream and was washed up on a bank of sand a few hours later. He rolled over and coughed.
"Where is everyone?" he called out to the empty sky. He received no answer. "This isn't funny!!!" he screamed... "I REALLY NEED TO GO TO THE TOILET!!!!"
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ *
So, there you go. Not my best work, but I had fun with the idea. Please review. There will be no sequel. THANKX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
Title: What Happens When Frodo Swallows The Eye of Sauron
Rating: PG (slightly gory)
Feedback: Yes please! i_must_be_good@somethingorother.com
Distribution: Whatever...
Disclaimer: As usual, I am not Tolkien and do not own LotR. And you don't either.
Summary: Don't you think the title kinda gives it all away? PLEASE REVIEW!!!
Notes: Set somewhere at Mordor, sometime near the destruction of the ring, with some characters from Middle earth... This is a bloody short story. Please don't complain if it's not as funny as my other one. The idea was sudden and unexplainable. Plz review!!!!!
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ *
"I may not be able to carry the ring, but I can carry you!" Sam cried.
He hauled Frodo over his shoulder and proceeded to stumble up the rocks toward Mordor and the Eye of Sauron. The Eye was scanning the area, shining out upon the rocks. As it sept towards the hobbits, Sam ducked in an effort to avoid being seen. The light missed him by millimetres.
Sam clambered up the rocks until he could go no further. He dropped Frodo from his back and lay against a large boulder to catch his breath. Frodo mumbled something quietly.
"What was that Mister Frodo?" Sam asked.
"I...said... that I.... can hear... something... familiar..." Frodo breathed.
"I cannot hear a thing Mister Frodo," answered Sam.
"Listen.... closely."
Sam fell silent, ears searching for a familiar sound. Then, he heard it. It sounded very much like hundreds of small animals stampeding over a hill towards them. He looked at Frodo.
"No way... I-It can't possibly be...."
Frodo shrugged.
Both hobbits turned their heads in the direction of the sound. In the distance they could see a large mass of furry things, moving very fast towards them. Rabbits.
"Lay low Mister Frodo," instructed Sam. But Frodo seemed unable to look away from the steadily advancing creatures. They reached the hobbits and stopped, noses twitching. Sam lunged at Frodo and pulled him down.
"Don't stare at them. You'll provoke them!"
Frodo smiled. "Sam, I wasn't looking at the rabbits. I was looking at that." The hobbit pointed at the ground nearby. Lying just next to the mob of rabbits, barely visible against the dusty ground, was a sausage. Sam looked amazed. "Do you think..."
"Yes Sam, I do believe that it is the same sausage that you threatened the rabbits with the last time our paths crossed."
Sam reached out his hand and closed his fingers around the long piece of processed meat. He gripped it tight, and lifted it in the air. It was his "Lethal Sausage of Doom". He looked ready to throw it at the rabbits, or at least threaten them with it. But instead, he drew it towards his mouth and took a large bite.
Frodo gagged. "Sam! Who knows where that has been. It's not even cooked!"
But Sam had already finished stuffing the sausage in his mouth and was chewing up the last of the uncooked meat. The rabbits still sat very close to them, twitching their noses and glancing in every direction. Frodo stared at them evilly. The rabbits froze and stared back, just as menacingly as the hobbit. Suddenly, they all darted away. They were headed for the Eye!
"Stupid creatures," Frodo remarked. "They're going to get themselves killed."
The rabbits reached the Eye. The leader tutted something to the others, which meant something along the lines of, "Stupid hobbits. They're going to get themselves killed."
Then, the Eye turned to the rabbits. It faced them for a while. The lead rabbit tutted to the Eye, and the Eye seemed to nod. Sam and Frodo gazed out at the spectacular scene of a mob of rabbits seemingly talking to the Eye of Sauron.
While they were busy staring in wonderment, the Eye turned in their direction. It shone it's searching beam upon them and paralysed Frodo where he was standing. The helpless hobbit's mouth was forced open and the Eye suddenly zoomed towards him. It shrunk enormously and exploded down Frodo's throat. The momentum carried it down to his stomach. All was silent. Then...
KABOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!
"FRODOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Sam screamed.
Frodo exploded into minuscule pieces. Blood and guts splattered everywhere, and covered Sam in a thick gooey slime. All that remained of his friend were tiny pieces of flesh scattered all across the ground. Several bloody organs littered the rocks nearby. Sam collapsed on the rocky ground, bits of Frodo's intestines wrapped around his neck.
"WHY!!!!!!!!!!!! WHY FRODO?!!!!?!?"
He burst into tears and pounded his fists on the rocks in fury. One of his fists hit a small gold object. It cut into his hand. A fragment of the ring. It had to be.
"So the ring has been destroyed. But Frodo is dead! WHY!!! WHY DID YOU TAKE MY FRODO FROM ME???" Sam sobbed.
Sam lay on the ground crying until several large eagles swooped down. One picked him up in it's talons. He was so exhausted that he fell asleep.
*
As they were flying over a large lake, the eagle holding Sam released it's hold on him and let him fall to the water below. A large splash could be heard as his body hit the water and sunk beneath the surface. He floated downstream and was washed up on a bank of sand a few hours later. He rolled over and coughed.
"Where is everyone?" he called out to the empty sky. He received no answer. "This isn't funny!!!" he screamed... "I REALLY NEED TO GO TO THE TOILET!!!!"
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ *
So, there you go. Not my best work, but I had fun with the idea. Please review. There will be no sequel. THANKX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1