Vincent Val'ntine
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Author's Note: This is an FF7-themed rewriting of the Steeleye Span song 'Black Jack Davy.' Note, however, that the Black Jack Davy of the original song had four syllables in his name, while Vincent has five- therefore, I was forced to abbreviate our favorite vampire's last name to make it fit, rhythmically. If you're gonna sing this song while you're in the shower or something, please note that Vinnie's last name is pronounced Valntine instead of ValEntine. It sounds kind of funny, but considering the tune/medium/rhythm/words/general 'medieval'-type atmosphere that the song projects, you kind of end up imagining the friendly neighborhood zombie as a knight in shining armor. Technically he *is*, but you know what I mean. The genuine rides-a-white-horse, silver-armored, complete-and-utter-Knights-of-the-Round-Table-type Middle Ages. OK, I think you get the point.
BIG, IMPORTANT FACT: This song is set in an ALTERNATE REALITY, aka ONE THAT DIDN'T HAPPEN BUT WHICH I THINK SHOULD HAVE. Here's the deal: Hojo took away the baby Sephiroth, and Lucrecia never saw the kid again. Then he clued in to the fact that his wife was in love with some other guy, so he genetically altered this other guy (V.V., in fact) and stuck him in a coffin in the basement of the Shinra Mansion. Vincent, however, didn't stay there for long. He climbed out of the coffin, knowing that Lucrecia was still alive, and he was determined to rescue. While the mad scientist wasn't home, he stormed the house, wasted Hojo's lackeys, and got Lucrecia out of there. Good thing, too. She's still in love with him, no matter what Hojo did to his genetics. In fact, she takes to sleeping in a coffin as well. (It's not airtight, you see, and if Vincent was there she'd be happy sleeping in a garbage dump.) Hojo, meanwhile, comes home, and his variously injured/maimed/dead lackeys inform him that Lucrecia was gone, with Vincent. That's where our song begins . . .
Disclaimers: VV, L and H aren't mine. They belong to Squaresoft. 'Black Jack Davy' belongs to Steeleye Span.
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When last night, drugs old Hojo brought home
To keep his wife 'in line'
His servants denied, but the corpses implied
"She's gone with Vincent Val'ntine."
"Oh bring to me my bonny gold bird
The black one was never so fine
I will ride all day and I'll ride all night
'Til I catch that Vincent Val'ntine!"
Oh he rode through Midgar and Junon
Past a flowing Mako fountain
And they did say that saw him go
"Vincent Val'ntine he's a-hunting!"
He rode east and he rode west
And his temper was quite eerie
When he saw fair Lucrecia
Of him aware and leery
"Why did you leave the lab project
And put me through this wringer?
Why did you leave and go to live
Along with that nut gunslinger?!"
Oh he rode through Midgar and Junon
Past a flowing Mako fountain
And they did say that saw him go
"Vincent Val'ntine he's a-hunting!"
"What care I for your lab project
And drugs to keep me 'in line'
When I'm asleep in a wood coffin
Along with Vincent Val'ntine?
Now I throw off my white coat
Stitched and sewn so well
And I'll put on my dark red cloak
And tell you: go to hell!"
Oh he rode through Midgar and Junon
Past a flowing Mako fountain
And they did say that saw him go
"Vincent Val'ntine he's a-hunting!"
Further Note: Makes no sense, n'est-ce pas? I've already got a whole panopoly of FF7-based Steeleye Span parodies. Should I put 'em up?
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Author's Note: This is an FF7-themed rewriting of the Steeleye Span song 'Black Jack Davy.' Note, however, that the Black Jack Davy of the original song had four syllables in his name, while Vincent has five- therefore, I was forced to abbreviate our favorite vampire's last name to make it fit, rhythmically. If you're gonna sing this song while you're in the shower or something, please note that Vinnie's last name is pronounced Valntine instead of ValEntine. It sounds kind of funny, but considering the tune/medium/rhythm/words/general 'medieval'-type atmosphere that the song projects, you kind of end up imagining the friendly neighborhood zombie as a knight in shining armor. Technically he *is*, but you know what I mean. The genuine rides-a-white-horse, silver-armored, complete-and-utter-Knights-of-the-Round-Table-type Middle Ages. OK, I think you get the point.
BIG, IMPORTANT FACT: This song is set in an ALTERNATE REALITY, aka ONE THAT DIDN'T HAPPEN BUT WHICH I THINK SHOULD HAVE. Here's the deal: Hojo took away the baby Sephiroth, and Lucrecia never saw the kid again. Then he clued in to the fact that his wife was in love with some other guy, so he genetically altered this other guy (V.V., in fact) and stuck him in a coffin in the basement of the Shinra Mansion. Vincent, however, didn't stay there for long. He climbed out of the coffin, knowing that Lucrecia was still alive, and he was determined to rescue. While the mad scientist wasn't home, he stormed the house, wasted Hojo's lackeys, and got Lucrecia out of there. Good thing, too. She's still in love with him, no matter what Hojo did to his genetics. In fact, she takes to sleeping in a coffin as well. (It's not airtight, you see, and if Vincent was there she'd be happy sleeping in a garbage dump.) Hojo, meanwhile, comes home, and his variously injured/maimed/dead lackeys inform him that Lucrecia was gone, with Vincent. That's where our song begins . . .
Disclaimers: VV, L and H aren't mine. They belong to Squaresoft. 'Black Jack Davy' belongs to Steeleye Span.
-------------------------------
When last night, drugs old Hojo brought home
To keep his wife 'in line'
His servants denied, but the corpses implied
"She's gone with Vincent Val'ntine."
"Oh bring to me my bonny gold bird
The black one was never so fine
I will ride all day and I'll ride all night
'Til I catch that Vincent Val'ntine!"
Oh he rode through Midgar and Junon
Past a flowing Mako fountain
And they did say that saw him go
"Vincent Val'ntine he's a-hunting!"
He rode east and he rode west
And his temper was quite eerie
When he saw fair Lucrecia
Of him aware and leery
"Why did you leave the lab project
And put me through this wringer?
Why did you leave and go to live
Along with that nut gunslinger?!"
Oh he rode through Midgar and Junon
Past a flowing Mako fountain
And they did say that saw him go
"Vincent Val'ntine he's a-hunting!"
"What care I for your lab project
And drugs to keep me 'in line'
When I'm asleep in a wood coffin
Along with Vincent Val'ntine?
Now I throw off my white coat
Stitched and sewn so well
And I'll put on my dark red cloak
And tell you: go to hell!"
Oh he rode through Midgar and Junon
Past a flowing Mako fountain
And they did say that saw him go
"Vincent Val'ntine he's a-hunting!"
Further Note: Makes no sense, n'est-ce pas? I've already got a whole panopoly of FF7-based Steeleye Span parodies. Should I put 'em up?