You are the nerd.
Okay, more accurately, John Egbert is the nerd, but actually this is my story. Who am I? You ll have to find out on your own. You ll have to remember as you re reading this, that it is me who is telling the story, but I ll try to keep my opinions out of it for the most part. You might be a little confused as to what point of view this thing is written in, but it s my job to screw with your head. For all intensive purposes, it s 3rd person limited, and I m telling you this right now so you don t have to go all in-depth and decipher every little thing in this, it s not symbolic or some crap, it s John s thoughts, but I am not John. I m just getting this from what he tells me.
Unpacking boxes isn t the most fun of activities, especially for a strapping young man named John Egbert, who was all but ready to explode in excitement as he yearned to explore this new frontier called college life. So, when his Dad backed out and left him to unpack his stuff on his own from the back of his car, John wasn t exactly happy. Still, he sucked it up, minus the moaning and groaning and complaining, and heaved the heavy boxes up to his new dorm. He carelessly tossed said boxes onto an empty bed, well every box except for the one with the bunny in it, but the significance of that box really isn t all that important and you probably wouldn t be reading this story if you didn t understand John Egbert s obsession with Con Air. Well, whatever. Con Air is a crappy movie anyways. Hey, that s your first hint as to who I am. Actually, well, I am somebody obviously, but this story is written in 3rd person, so I could be John, Dave, Dirk, Jake, or whoever else just talking about myself in third person. Why am I telling you all this anyways? It s not even relevant to the story at all, and if I m supposed to be pretending to be a good writer I should not be talking in first person right now.
Well, he tossed the boxes onto the empty bed, seated right beside a bed decorated with a red comforter, black pillows, and a wall directly next to said bed with a few posters and a broken record hung from it. He tilted his head curiously, wondering when he would meet his roommate and what kind of person he would be. Just as the thought popped into his head, a disheveled blonde walked into the room, yawning silently, and waved. He wore a white shirt with long red sleeves and a scratched CD on the front. Aside from that, he wore plain red boxers, as he had probably just woken up.
Hey! I m John. Egbert. The new college kid greeted perhaps a little bit too excitedly, hinting at his major geekiness. That and the fact that the kid had an overbite that could out-do a beaver in a wood-chipping contest, and glasses so big they touched the bottom of his forehead.
The blonde said nothing, only picking up a strange keyboard machine thing and typing something on it. He hit the enter key, and an electronic voice said Yo. Dave Strider. To be honest, John had to try hard not to laugh at the strange sounding voice, especially when it said yo . Otherwise, he just looked like a deer in the headlights, wide eyes and all.
Can t you talk ? He asked, as if the answer wasn t already obvious. Was it rude of him to ask? Oh well, too late now. I use to. Long story. Sorry if it annoys you, but you re just out of luck, cuz I m your roomate. He typed, the words flowing quite well despite the foreign electronic phrasing. For a moment John was tempted to ask about the story, but figured it might be a little too personal for first introductions.
Are you a freshman too? He decided to ask, changing the subject pretty obviously, not that John was ever inconspicuous. Yup. I know all about this place though, cuz my wicked older Bro is a senior here. I know this campus better than a fat kid knows his Betty Crocker. John found it really difficult not to laugh at the synthetic voice as it tossed out slang words, but somehow he managed. Think of dead puppies He reminded himself. For now he d let the batterwitch comment go.
Cool! So do you think you could show me around, then? I ve only been here like twice. John admitted, shrugging lightly.
Yeah, sure. Let s go. The cool kid typed, before turning around to walk out the door.
Uhh Dave? Yeah? You might want to put on some pants. Dave glanced down, shrugged, and walked over to his dresser. If you insist.
So that s how the nerd met the cool kid.
Ha. You thought that was end chapter, right? Wrong! We gotta make this crap ridiculously long. Like longer than Sarah Palin s beard long (and if you re offended by that, I really don t care). Longer than the first act of Homestuck. Get it? This crap is long. After putting on some pants, Dave shoved his electronic keyboard thing into a shoulder bag, and headed out the door with John behind him. The black-haired boy glanced around the hallway periodically, as if trying to fill the awkward silence. Finally, they made it down the long dorm building, down the steps, and out into open air. The campus was decent, though not so large that they would need to walk a couple thousand feet just to get to class. Dave turned to John questioningly, his body motions somehow enough to convey what he was trying to say, as he seemed too lazy to pull out his keyboard. Can you show me where we eat? The beaver-bite boy asked, after a little bit of deliberation. Dave responded with a simple nod, heading in the direction of the campus s main building which, as far as John knew, held most of the math and science classes. The blond cool-kid held open the door for the other, allowing him to enter first. If he was able to talk, John betted he would have probably said something like Ladies first , but he put that out of his head. Who was he to assume things about a guy he just met?
Inside it was a cozy little caf , with a few tables seated by wide windows, an occasional red-padded booth among the mix. John walked over to the bar and examined the list of foods. Can I get a number four and a Coca Cola? He asked, not really all that hungry. Still, it was nice to just hang out with his roomate. At least they d get along. Not that they could really get into argu- oh geez that was kind of rude to think.
I ll take a number nine and a Pepsi. And . Can we get an extra cup? Dave ordered, using his keyboard of course, but you probably get that by this point. John looked over to blonde, raising a brow at his request, but he didn t bother questioning him/
John handed the cashier the money for both of their orders, and the two remained silent for a minute, leaning against the counter and waiting for their orders. They were handed two bags and sodas and they took a seat at one of the red booths.
Without asking, Dave grabbed the other s soda, poured half of it into the empty cup, and half of his Pepsi into it as well.
Try it. He told John, handing him the cup. John nodded and sipped it, smiling in approval. It s good, but aren t Pepsi and Coke pretty much the same thing? John giggled a bit as he stole a fry from Dave s meal.
The blonde ignored the food theft and shook his head, pouring the rest of the Coke into his half empty cup of Cola. Nah. I think Pepsi s sweeter. John shrugged, glancing out the window at the various students scurrying around. There were a lot of new freshmen fumbling around with boxes of things they had yet to unpack. So what are you majoring in? John was snapped out of his day dream.
Well, I m looking into doing something with biology. I guess science is kinda my thing. What about you? No idea. Dave answered bluntly. I didn t really want to go to college in the first place. I m big on music. I can really throw out some sick beats. So like rapping? Rapping, deejaying The whole no voice thing kind of messes with the rapping though. I want to hear. John demanded, before giving an apologetic grin. Please. Ugh right here? Dave took a fry and bit into it.
Yeah, sure! Why not? Fine what do you want me to rap about? Talk about how we met. That s not very exciting. Just do it! Dave sighed and leaned back in the booth. He began typing on to his keyboard. Whatever you say I can take it, rearrange it. Well I met this kid John, and I gotta say he s the strangest. He s got the glasses and the teeth, he s a dork head to toes. But I guess we could be buds, maybe even best bros. John giggled a bit as the mechanical voice spit out rhymes. That was pretty good. Thanks. It was even better when I could actually say it. This damn electronic voice just isn t the same, you know? So you use to be able to talk .? John asked hesitantly. At first he had been reluctant to ask such a personal question, but it was relevant to their conversation now.
Yeah. Dave sighed and ran a hand through his hair. Although it was difficult to read the guy s emotions what with the sunglasses covering his eyes, John could tell it was a touchy subject.
So tell me about the girls here! John piped up cheerfully.
You re horrible at changing subjects. Dave s lip twitched up a bit. It was sort of a half-smile, half-smirk. But yeah, they re pretty cool I guess. Jade is one of my friends, and she kind of looks like you. Rose Lalonde is a little on the freaky side, but don t get your hopes up with her. She s into chicks. That s cool I guess. John shrugged and got up, grabbing both of their trash, tossing it in the nearby can.
Heh yeah, well I ll introduce you some time. Dave stood up as well. Anywhere in specific you want to check out next? Nope. It s up to you. Alright. Next stop the courtyard.