A/N: WhatisthisIdon'teven. I'm sorry (except I'm totally not because this was a ton of fun to write.) I was struck with this idea after listening to Maroon 5's "Wake Up Call", so, you know, take that for what it's worth.

Disclaimer: I don't own K and I certainly don't make money from writing this nonsense.

Wake Up Call

It's nearly 6 o'clock in the morning when Yata returns to the crappy apartment he shares with Saruhiko, and all he wants to do is sleep. He unceremoniously drops his bags in the living room and heads straight for the bathroom so he can wash his face before passing out.

After completing this task, he makes the short trek from the bathroom to the bedroom, stopping in order to shed his top-most layers of clothing and leaving them scattered on the floor, thinking that he'll pick them up tomorrow when he doesn't feel like a sleep-deprived zombie. The flight back was harrowing to say the least, what with the chatty old man on his right and the young mother and her screaming child on his left. He had spent the majority of the flight inwardly (and occasionally outwardly) cursing and wishing that Saru had been with him, if only to ease his boredom and the torment of the yapping passengers.

He pauses with his hand on the bedroom doorknob. At this point in their relationship, there is absolutely no reason to feel embarrassed about the smile that has crept onto his face at the thought of Saru, but the emotion rises in him anyway and he laughs a little at his own stupidity, and then turns the doorknob.

The door squeaks as it opens and Yata winces. He knows that his entrance will cause Saruhiko to wake up anyway, but in this case, there's no harm in delaying the inevitable. The smile returns as he thinks that maybe Saru will already be awake; that he'll be sitting up in bed waiting for him and smiling and saying—

"Are you FUCKING kidding me?!"

"Misaki!" Saruhiko exclaims happily, but Yata is not paying attention to him; instead, his eyes are on the other person in his bed—the other male, dark-haired, glasses-wearing person in his bed.

"I was gone for THREE FUCKING DAYS and you do this again?!" Finally he turns his fiery gaze on Saruhiko, who is smiling placidly and apparently finds nothing wrong with the fact that Reishi fucking Munakata is in their bed. "Could you really not wait that long?!"

Saruhiko's expression doesn't change at all. "Welcome home, Misaki."

Yata ignores him and points at Munakata. "You. Get the fuck out of my house."

Munakata, looking far too calm for his own good, gets out of the bed, saying "All right, all right," while Yata thinks of a thousand ways he could cause his untimely death.

There is complete silence in the room until Yata hears the front door click closed, and then he rounds on Saruhiko. "What the hell—"

"I miss you when you're gone, Misaki," Saruhiko cuts him off. "I get really lonely."

"Well—but—" Yata splutters. "That doesn't mean you have to—and did you—"

"He's attractive, you've gotta admit," Saruhiko states matter-of-factly. He pauses. "And tall."

"Oi, what the fuck are you implying?!"

"Nothing, nothing at all." Saruhiko grins, and reaches a hand out towards Yata. "Misaki—"

"Shut up!" Yata roars. He grabs Saru's outstretched hand, and his other hand too for good measure, and pins them over his head, leaning down to stare into his eyes. "Saruhiko. You are mine, understand? Not his, not anyone else's. Mine."

"Yours," Saruhiko replies dutifully. "But perhaps you should prove it."

Poor Misaki, Saruhiko thinks as Yata sets about doing just that, so easy to manipulate. And then he quickly becomes incapable of coherent thought.

Munakata is waiting for him the next day, right outside the coffee shop they have deemed as their meeting point. He adjusts his glasses and sighs. "How much longer is this charade going to last?" he asks, a touch of exasperation in his voice.

"As long as you keep taking my money," Saruhiko answers happily.

"Why can't you just tell him you like it when he gets angry? I'm sure there are easier, not to mention cheaper ways of provoking him."

"Oh, I'm sure there are," Saruhiko answers, a wild look in his eyes and a smirk on his face. "But those ways aren't nearly as fun."

A/N part 2! I hope you enjoyed this strange fic that is half humor and half pseudo-angst (seriously what even is this.) Anyway, I really like jealous, possessive Yata (as you can probably tell) and although SaruMi is definitely my OTP, I like ReiSaru too so umm that's why this happened. Oh and I dunno where Yata went for three days. You can make something up. Okay I'm gonna go hide now.