All characters and content related to Guilty Gear, along with the series itself is property of Daisuke Ishiwatari, Sammy Corporation, and Arc System Works.

All characters related to Last Blade 2, along with the series itself is property of SNK.

And Slave trading is still outlawed here, so authors don't belong to me. But I belong to myself.

One final note: Ishiwatari in Microsoft Word is spell checked as 'dishwater'. Try it out.

Yeah, this is self insertion, but I'll show you that people can self insert and not turn the story stupid!

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CARNIVAL RE-OPENED

The figure in black looked down at the long, open decks of the Mayship, the walls gleaming with the setting sun. The man continued to stare down the hall, self-absorbed in a minor rant.

"Alas, what a good turn of events! The moment I land, I am already where I want to start! This place is always good to start carnivals at." The figure in black chuckled to itself. He then noted a two figures walking down the corridor towards him, apparently to far into their conversation to notice him.

"Tough day today, Dizzy. How was the kitchen though?" The orange clad child asked the winged figure.

"Fine, the cake should be ready soon."

"Really? I can't wait!"

"AVAST YE PIRATE CHICKS!" The man shouted to get their attention. May and Dizzy snapped their heads to see the un-expected company, which consisted of a man dressed a lot like Johnny, with the same brand pants and stylish leather jacket. He was also decked out in a black shirt, and a black bandanna that stretched over the upper half of the face, hiding his identity while the ends of the cloth stretched all the way down to the length of the jacket. Stamped onto the ground and firmly clenched in one hand was a rod the height of the man, also of black hue. His eyes were of Asian brown.

May, if she were any less of a Johnny-atic would have thought this man was Johnny himself in a superhero streak, but those long years had taught May that Johnny did NOT own a shirt. May was suddenly in her old instincts, placing herself in front of her friend.

"Who are you? You shouldn't be here mister!" May told the man harshly.

"Ah! I should be asking thee of who ye are, instead!" The man called back in his mock pirate accent.

"What do you want?"

"Is the pretty lass behind ye the one called Dizzy?"

"What is it to you?"

"If thee chick is really Dizzy, I gotta make sure to fix her, the living contradiction!" the man suddenly raised his rod at the Half ling, his body tense for combat. May already knew this was bad news.

"Speak English already!" May continued, trying to discern the actual motive.

"Fine. I'll probably either turn her into a Gear or kill her. Savvy?" The man snorted in annoyance.

"Dizzy! Go and warn Johnny and the others about this guy, I'll keep him away from you." Dizzy was a bit reluctant as always about leaving her friend, but if it would help…

Dizzy was gone in a flash.

"Blistering Barnacles! Now I shall have to hunt ye wench like gray carp in the seven seas! Do I sound like a pirate to you?"

"Get off this ship!" May had already called down her anchor and was swaying back and forth in a battle stance.

"Get off? But I never got on! I just… arrived." Despite his pleading tone, the man picked up his rod and leaned the device under his arm and gave a wide grin in anticipation of battle.

May had decided to stop playing games with this freak and charged forwards. Giving a mighty battle cry, May swung the massive steel at the man's side. He just merely hoisted his entire body up onto his staff with his arms, and gave launched both feet into the pirate's chest, knocking them both away, and the man onto the floor.

"What is this? A Japanese who will not throw fireballs? You dishonor you blood line with lack of Hadoukens!" The man broke down into giggling while lying upon the wooden floor. May was filled with anger at the fact the man was not even concerned about fighting her.

"Shut up!"

"That is SO rude!" The man swirled off the ground into a crouching position, his back facing away from May, who was charging again at him. The man simply took up his rod and aimed one end at the child, which then the device increased in length at a silent command, the new length of rod flying into May's chest as it was still extending. The force threw her a good distance away from the maniac.

"Gah! Your are so different than most fighting game heavy hitters; All brawn, and no defense. No wonder you are so low in the tiers!"

"You-you shut up!" May struggled up again, who was surprised at the amount of strength the man possesed.

"May!" a familiar cry called. May turned around to find Johnny, along with several other crew members now behind the Japanese pirate. The man was hardly intimidated by the new odds. In fact, he looked delighted.

"How nice! More people come for admission!"

"Back off, pal. I don't think you'd want to be on the wrong side of this blade." Johnny said coldly, hand gripped on his weapon.

"What! At this moment of triumph of which I am already so close to completing my mission of fixing all that is screwed up in this world? May some form of higher life strike me down with a Ion Cannon before I drop my duties!"

Johnny only picked up the part about his duties, "Look, just who the heck are you and what beef do you have with Dizzy?"

"Are you asking for a name?"

"That would be a good start."

"Well, then a name you shall never find! Such meaningless things restrict me from my potential! All people's names are my name! All people are my alias! I am a person with many aliases! How cool is that? Oh, and as for Dizzy, just her breathing just pisses me off."

"What?" Dizzy was surprised by such comment.

"You must be Gear-ified or dead! Suck breezy!" The man brought up the rod and started spinning it in a full circle in front of him, creating an immense wind that started pushing everyone backwards. Dizzy was also dangerously close to the edge of the ship. Just as suddenly the man stopped spinning, hoppped up and started running along the railing that guarded the edge, thus the person ran past all the pirates and up to the Gear, who along with everybody else had just started recovering from the ordeal. The person then spun in a full circle, with leg outstretched.

The kick caught under the jaw of Dizzy who was pulled off her feet and carried by the leg momentarily, but then gravity caught up, which meant she was launched off the ship and towards the ground below the ship in a sickening déjà vu.

Everyone managed to see Dizzy give a cry of fear before disappearing into the forest. Also they saw the man jump up with his weapon onto a very inaccessible part of the hull of the vehicle.

"Dizzy falls and is followed by mandatory scream of terror. I should be going down to take a photo of Dizzy as a street pizza, or should I say forest pizza?" The man broke down into laughing again.

"Get down here and fight coward!" May cried at the man.

"No! I done all I need to do! I have successfully deleted an inconsistency of the world!"

"What are you talking about?" Johnny shouted in anger at the man whose cold, psychotic grin could have matched the Cheshire cat a hundred times over.

"As duty of an author of the universe, I am charged with making sure that all things illogical, inconsistent, and contradictory are not to be existent. For if Illogical things are allowed, what's to stop the universe from saying horrible things like air is the same things as hot magma? The system of the world is so buggy."

"What's this got to do with Dizzy?" May asked.

"There is no such thing as half a Gear, such as there is no such thing as half a human: it is mathematically and logically incorrect! So how on earth does a thing like Dizzy exist? She shouldn't, and she won't. That is why I restart the Carnival." The man finished in a cold growl.

"This isn't some math problem you can fix! This is human life you're talking about!" Johnny shouted.

"Nonsense! When you see the things I see, you'll realize that life is nothing more than series of rules that lie on top of each other. Anyways, I should be checking if poor, sweet Dizzy is actually a poor, sweet flat paste. Ciao all!" The man raised his rod above himself, which seemed to shrink and warp in form, until one side was hooked, and the other side looked slightly bulbous. The man then pressed something on the rod, which made the bulbous section open up into the wide expanses of an umbrella. Holding on tight, the winds picked up on the umbrella, which proceeded to carry the cackling man off his feet and let him gently drift downwards.

"C'mon! We gotta get down there! Where's the closest safe place for landing?"

"London city, only a few miles away!" May called back.

"Full speed!"

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The fall wasn't the worst bit. Unfortunately for Dizzy, she ended up landing on the side of a rather rocky hill; on and on she went, rolling and crashing against everything she saw, until she finally came to a gentle stop. Her small body shivered from the pain that bleed from every wound, especially the one on the back of her head. All she could do was breath heavily and hope the nausea would leave. The world seemed to blacken around her as she saw someone approach her.

"Dizzy…" The voice seemed to start to cry out, but she did hear the last part, the black had already consumed her world, and laid her to gentle sleep.