Chapter One
Feliciano
I am sick. Always have been, always will be. Leukemia is what I have. I've had it since... since forever. Since I was born, or maybe since before that. No one even knows how I've lasted so long. Thirteen years... thirteen years is a long time to lie in a hospital bed all day.
I didn't used to sit in a hospital bed all day long. I used to be able to go out. But the more time passed, the worse my leukemia got, until I could barely get out of bed. Fourteen years old and barely able to walk. At all. Sometimes I can manage it with help. Coughing so hard I practically die every time I move. This whole thing sucks, and I'm pretty much ready to just... let go already. I just want to let go. I just want to die already. There's no reason for me to keep living. I'm never going to get better.
I sigh and turn to look outside the window to my left. It's sunny outside. I still remember when I could go outside in the sun... it was brilliant. I would walk, I could feel fresh air on my skin, flowing through my hair. I could feel grass under my feet. I could feel the sun shining on my skin, straight on my skin and not through a window. I could walk without practically coughing up a lung.
I reach over to my bedside table and pick up my latest book. Some depressing novel my brother gave me. He only reads depressing novels, and then he thinks that I'll want to read them too. At least he means well.
I sigh and put the book back down. Maybe I could write my own book. Wouldn't that be nice? But I'd have to have a pen and paper for that. I don't think that's going to happen... I can barely hold a pen anymore. I could have my brother write it down for me, but he's got better things to do then write my words down.
Maybe I could have one of the nurses do it? But... I don't want to bother them... maybe I could just have someone pick up a better book. Or I could try watching TV, but... ugh, daytime TV sucks.
I turn slightly onto my side, then startle a bit as a bird flies past the window. What I'd give to be a bird... I could just fly away from here... I could be free... I wouldn't have to spend all my time stuck in here... wouldn't that be something...
One of the millions of birds fluttering through the air outside lands on my windowsill. It stares at me with its tiny, beady black eyes, chirping occasionally and cocking its head from side to side in the weird way that birds do.
"Ciao!" I say cheerfully to it, lifting up my hand and waving it a bit. I almost instantly drop it back down. It takes a lot of effort just to do that much.
The bird pecks lightly on the glass a couple times, then looks at me expectantly. "Do you want to come inside?" I ask it quietly. It pecks on the glass again. "Okay fine, I'll try to let you in, but you can't stay for too long. And it might take a while... I don't think that I can make it all the way over there, but I'll try." I press the button that makes the bed lift me up into a sitting position, and then I yank that blankets off of me and swing my feet over the side of the bed. Instantly I feel dizzy and nauseous- side effects of leukemia -so I wait a little while for it to pass. Once it's gone, I reach out and grab my bedside table, then heave myself to my feet. I sway unsteadily for a moment and gag a bit, but manage to not throw up all over the place. I walk unsteadily toward the window, still leaning heavily on the bedside table. I pause for a bit, then let go of the table and walk the three unsteady steps to the window. I nearly throw up as I lean on the sill, coughing and hacking from the effort of walking, and then I look up and stare at the bird.
"Hello," I say weakly. "I'm about to let you inside, okay? Just be patient. I can't move very fast." I take some deep, steadying breaths, closing my eyes to calm myself down a bit, and then open them again. I reach out, unlock the window, and pull out the screen. Surprisingly, the small bird just sits there and waits for me to do all of this, watching me intently. I reach out a hand and let it rest right in front of the bird. "Do you want to come in?" I ask it softly. "You can jump on my hand and I'll bring you inside, okay? I promise I won't try anything." The bird looks at me almost hesitantly, then hops slowly across the outside windowsill and right into my hand. I smile sweetly at it and bring my hand back inside, then slowly, carefully lower myself into one of those uncomfortable chairs they always have next to the windows in hospitals. I lean back in the chair and breathe deeply. The bird shifts awkwardly from small foot to small foot on my hand, and I giggle.
"That tickles, little bird," I tell it, opening my eyes to smile at it. It looks back at me and chirps, almost as if in reply, and I laugh again. "You're such a cute little bird! I hope we can be good friends!"
The bird ducks its head like it's shy.
"You're a little bit like my older brother," I tell it. "He's shy too, only he's a bit more... outgoing about his shyness."
The bird cocks his head to the side as if he's curious about what I mean.
"Well, he's just... he doesn't act shy, he acts mean, but he's not really. He's just not very good at talking to people." I sigh. "I wonder if he'll get worse after I'm gone..."
The bird tilts its head to the side as if he's asking what I mean by "gone."
"Well, I have leukemia, and I'll probably die soon. I just hope that my brother isn't sad when I die. He doesn't deserve to be sad. Her deserves to be happy. That's why I keep telling him to finally admit that he's in love with Carmen, but he won't..."
The bird hops up my arm and onto my shoulder, then stares me straight in the eyes. The look on its little bird face seems to say, "Don't worry, it'll all be alright, I'll make everything better."
Suddenly I'm crying, because I don't want to die, no matter how much I act like it's okay, it's not okay. I don't want to die. I just want to be okay. I want to be able to walk outside again, and I want to watch as my brother laughs with his girlfriend, because I know they both love each other very, very much. I want to see my parents smiling at me once more, without that constant, lingering worry. They always look at me like... like I'm not all here, or I won't be here much longer.
Suddenly there's a gentle tap on my cheek. I blink the tears from my eyes and look up to see the bird staring at me once more. I reach up and wipe my eyes, then give the bird a watery smile. "Are you going to make it all better?" I ask, voice choked with tears. The little bird tilts its head to the side, then turns and flies away out the window. I watch after it, the blue sky blurring through my tears. For once, they're not sad tears, though. I know the bird will save me.
A/N So, I've been wanting to write some GerIta lately, so here it is! I think it's gonna be a threeshot! X3
Also, I literally know pretty much nothing about leukemia except what I read online and how to spell it, so if you have any corrections or anything please tell me but... don't be mean about it? ^^ I don't react well to mean things. I'm naturally bitchy.