No Way Out

I dreamed these characters one night, then Dick Wolf stole them from my dream. Legally I don't own them. Spiritually they are MINE MINE MINE!

I lifted this from two other writer's submission for a live-journal challenge. The guidelines and their own submissions inspired me. The guidelines are below.

1). must reference at least one of the following: Transformers 1 or 2, the harry potter series (movies or books) and Star Trek (the new movie)
2). the character/pairing must get stuck on an elevator
3). flat tire
4). handcuffs make either an appearance or be referenced
5). items in pocket: pack of gum with only 3 sticks remaining, a receipt from the 7-11, and enough change to get a bag of Skittles from the vending machine
6). a television season on DVD must be referenced.
7). A ringtone featuring the Backstreet Boy's song Quit Playing Games With My Heart

It had started as a pretty normal day. Bobby and Eames had found some leads in their case, Nichols had gone off on some mission of his own and found a brilliant solution to his case, and Mike Logan had shown up to turn in some handcuffs he had found behind his bed and no longer had use for. Ross's comment on the subject had been "I'd have found a use for 'em." This had only lowered him in both Bobby's and Eames's estimation.

The five of them had gone into the elevator together with vague talk of going to the local cop bar for drinks. Then their elevator had ground to a halt between floors tow and three. That had been, according to Bobby's watch, and hour ago, according to Eames's watch, fifty minutes ago, and according to Nichols' watch, an hour and thirty minutes ago. Wheeler had long ago sat down, Eames had taken her high heels off and was sitting, and all of the men were standing against the walls and thinking, great, if she goes into labor now, who's gonna deliver the baby? Nichols coughed, Bobby popped his lips, and finally Eames looked up at the ceiling. "I've got plenty of other things to do tonight, than this."

Mike rolled his eyes, "Eames, we've all got stuff we'd better be doing right now. Well, except for Bobby, maybe he'll read some psychology book or something. I mean I like ya Bobby but come on."

Mike Logan, you can go to hell, thought Eames.

He went on, oblivious. "Seriously, without his mom around anymore--"

Nichols looked up, interested. "Really, detective? You're a bit of a mamma's boy?"

Oh Jesus, thought Megan. "Hey Zack, where exactly did you go today? You never say, and I always wonder."

Nichols, looked down, feeling some vague danger pass him by. He shrugged it off. "Actually, my dear, there's a marathon on, that show about the concierge doctor, and I thought I would catch the pilot again. I don't have a DVR, so. . . "

While Wheeler tried to absorb this, Eames broke in. "Setting bones before or after the dinner reservations?" Goren and Logan both chuckled, and Logan forgot to bristle at "my dear."

"It means, doctor-for-hire. Set in the Hamptons."

Goren said, "Everything's for hire there."

Mike: "I saw the previews. The rich lady in the fur suit had a . . ."

"Flat tire!" Eames and Wheeler said at the same time, laughing at the perils of the rich and the over-inflated.

Mike said, "Come on, it's a bad position to be in."

"Funny too," said Bobby, shrugging.
"It's making fun of other folks' problems."

"That they made for themselves."

"So it's okay to laugh at an injury if it's—"

Suddenly Alex jumped up and pounded the buttons one by one. She noticed them all staring at her. "I realized, I've been planning to see the new Transformers movie, and it's gonna sell out pretty soon and I don't want to miss it again."

"Hang on," Zack said, "I've got a guy who can buy those for you online. Let me just call him for you. . ."

She softened, giving him her best smile. "That would be sweet, Zack."

He shrugged, phone to his ear. "Damn, he's not home. Maybe he'll call back." He stuck the phone back in his pants pocket.

Bobby pulled his phone out of his pocket. "Really, you get bars in here? My phone's a piece of crap."

"Got anything you can use to get us moving again, MacGyver?" Eames asked her partner.

Examining his pockets, he found, along with his house key, a stick of gum with three pieces—So he's trying to quit again, thought Eames and Mike—a receipt from a 7-11, and the exact change to buy Eames Skittles from the vending machine.

To the others' obvious disappointment he said, "You actually expected me to have an elevator repair kit in my pockets?"

"What we need," said Nichols, thinking out loud, "is a wand like Harry Potter would

use—"

Bobby: "You can't use magic in front of the non-magical in any case." Nichols shrugged.

Mike: "Who would be the non-magic ones here, Goren?"

Bobby: "Well, you and Eames both love cars, if you had to use broomsticks it would be a major let-down for you two."

Wheeler said thoughtfully, "A broomstick would be nice, though. I've always loved the idea of flight."

"You can't do much with a broomstick as far as maintenance," said Nichols dismissively.

"Actually, one of the books mentions a broomstick, um, polishing kit." The men all looked at her as her face went beet-red. "My nephew loves those books." Nichols snickered suggestively. "Funny that's not in the movies."

"Movies lack subtlety." Eames shrugged.

"Oh, I don't know, they can leave clues. Take the last Star Trek movie—"

"—You saw that?—"

"—it had plenty of shout outs that only a hard-core fan would get. And by the way, Detectives Goren and Logan, I've got a bit more cultural education than one would think at first sight. My parents were not completely successful in . . ." his face suddenly flushed and he grabbed his phone like a flash. Because there are often opportunities the universe simply cannot resist, his phone chose that moment to ring. The others all listened with blank polite faces as he took the call and relayed Eames's request, then after he hung up all four of them burst out laughing.

"Really, Zack? Backstreet Boys?" asked Wheeler.

Goren shook his head. "How old is 'Quit Playing Games With My Heart,' anyway?

"Why not 'I Want it That Way'?" The others all turned their best interrogative stares at Logan. "What? Everyone likes that song."

Because sometimes the universe is generous, the elevator started moving at that moment, to the cheers of all. Nichols and Eames helped Wheeler back up, and they all exited the building, Goren and Eames going together outside of range of the others. "So," said Eames, "what did you have planned tonight?"

Goren turned red. "Not a psychology book?" asked Eames sympathetically. "There's nothing wrong—"

"It's not that." Bobby cut in. "It's different from the norm, that's all. I've been reading some Roman history lately, and I was going to watch I Claudius on DVD."

Eames cocked her head. "I've never heard of that."

"Probably not. It's a BBC production. There's no soundtrack, the theme song is awful, there's bad costuming and the props and background aren't near modern American quality…"

"You love it." Eames finished.

"Great acting, great plot."

Eames looked away for a moment, then back as if making a decision. "I was going to see this Transformers flick, but . . . how long is an episode?"

"Um, I'd say about an hour?"

"You buy the Skittles, I'll make the popcorn?"

They walked to their cars together, Goren whistling and feeling better than he had in months.