Dance of the Gummy Bear Fairy

Disclaimer: Everyone is acting…weird. Just deal with my insanity, please! Oh, and do I look like Rumiko Takahashi to you? Well, if you could see me, you'd say no, because I am not. ^_^

One fine spring day, Shippou decided to be his annoying self and interrogate Inuyasha for no particular reason, who was hanging by his legs from a tree leaning over the well.

"Whatcha doin'?" he asked.

Inuyasha opened one eye, and glared at Shippou. His eyes suddenly bugged out, and one arm separated from his body and shot towards Shippou in the fashion that a robot would. The little bugger barely dodged.

The kitsune squealed as his body was turned to ashes as Inuyasha's body suddenly exploded. In regard to the violent acts in the forest, a squirrel ran into the village and danced on Kikyou's grave.

Sensing an unjust crime being committed, Kaede scurried out of her house as fast as on old hag can possibly go, and shooed off the pesky squirrel, who had only been trying to warn her.

Later…

The gang soon found out what happened to Shippou, and were attending his funeral.

"Why did this have to happen?" sobbed Kagome.

"His fiery and passionate existence shall never fade from our hearts. Let you be in peace and more useful in your afterlife than you were in the flesh," added Miroku, who received a jab in the stomach from Sango.

"Indeed. A tragedy," mumbled Sango, who really wanted to see who had won the best-constructed weapon contest in the village-square.

As Kaede said some final prayers, Inuyasha suddenly burst out into monstrous, blasphemous laughter. His voice echoed in the empty, quiet village. Everyone glared.

Kikyou then appeared out of nowhere.

"I thought you exploded. I thought you died. You were supposed to come to hell with ME, DAMMIT!!" she cried, yanking on her hair, then stomped her feet. Finally she resolved to floating above their heads in circles, moaning like a banshee.

"Er, there is a squirrel dancing on your grave," said Kagome, seeing that the rodent had indeed returned.

"WHAT?! Kagome, are you responsible for this?! You are their secret leader of the "Sailor Fuku Rodent" club, AREN'T you?!" Kikyou bellowed, now diving from the air, and rising up again, trying to strike Kagome.

Everyone in the village scattered except for Sango, Miroku, Inuyasha, and Kagome. As the violence dragged on, and Kagome ran for her dear life in circles, while Inuyasha just stood and bit his nails, er, claws.

Miroku was too busy trying to get the "bug" out of Sango's hair, which didn't work out too well.

"I don't BUY it, houshi! So just knock it off and go help Kagome," growled Sango.

Miroku made a depressed noise and proceeded to jump into the fray. Kagome had finally been able to draw out her bow and arrows, and was trying frantically to shoot the howling apparition known as Kikyou out of the sky. Inuyasha made mad dashes back and forth between the fighting mikos, trying to decide who he should help.

"I help her," he said, pointing to Kikyou, "and I can kiss my life above ground goodbye. I help her," he pointed to Kagome, "and I am forever haunted by an obsessed, overly-morbid dead woman who wishes for revenge and could snap at any second. AHHH!"

Inuyasha then pulled a bag of gummy bears from his shirt and started throwing them at everyone. Kaede emerged from the trees with a strange gleam in her eyes at the sight of the gummy bears. The purple ones especially appealed to her. She made her way over, or at least tried to. In fact a huge bird silently scooped her up and away, and Kaede was so scared she could not utter a word. Also, Sango was nowhere to be found.

Kikyou and Kagome stopped their fight to see what exactly the hanyou was throwing at them.

"Gummy bears!" Kagome shrieked in delight, dropping her weapon and her animosity, "Where did you get those?! I must've been from my bag…How dare you! Oh well. Give me some!"

Kikyou grabbed Miroku by the collar, raising him into the air. "What exactly is a gummy bear?"

"I don't know, you schizophrenic poltergeist!" Miroku yelled into her face, struggling to get free.

Kikyou dropped him at once, and dissolved into sobs. "Am I…really schizophrenic?"

Miroku brushed himself off and headed towards the gummy bear party. "Excuse me, ladies, but could you perhaps share some of those divinely attractive treats with me?"

He awaited a slap from Sango, but it never came. May Buddha bless his luck and let it blossom more often! Alas. Another squirrel, a fatter one this time, hopped onto Miroku's shoulder and slapped him across the face.

He pouted like a child, and threw the rodent off. "Damn it! It's always me…"

Kikyou had snatched the bag from Inuyasha, who was too afraid to do anything. She cackled hellishly and dug through the bag, frantically searching for the red ones.

Miroku marched over to where Kikyou was hovering. "Hey! We didn't get any!! HEY!"

Kikyou looked down at the monk and everyone else. "Ha! You can have them…when I finish eating all the red ones! Ah, my little gummies of death…come with me to HELL!"

This late statement left the rest of the cast to stare, until a tiny transparent form flew their way. It strangely and remarkably resembled Shippou. Before the tortured kitsune could say one word, Inuyasha jumped up and punched him back into hell, or wherever he came from. All that could be heard was a heart-wrenching squeal echoing across the valley.

"Anyways…let us have some, Kikyou!" Kagome crooned, reaching up her arms in vain.

"I'm not done yet. Here, have a few, you hopeless mortals! Ah…how I wish I was one!" Kikyou yelled, showering everyone with gummy bears.

Everyone but Sango (well, cause she disappeared!) dived for the treats scattered on the ground, oblivious to the dirt and germs. Kagome gathered the blue ones, while Miroku scrounged up the orange, claiming it to be his color most describing his "intimately charming" personality. He was enjoying not having to worry about being hit for being perverted. This was the life!

Just when Kikyou thought she was done with those insanely sweet morsels, she felt herself shrinking, physically and mentally. She raised one pale hand, watching it grow smaller and smaller, until it was about the size Shippou's hand would be, give or take a few inches. Suddenly the gummies were the most important thing in the world to her.

"Can we have them, now?!" whined Inuyasha, who had also grown younger, to about the age of six, due to the consumption of the strange gummy bears.

"No! They're mine!" Kikyou squealed, holding the bag just out of his reach as she continued to float above them all.

Kagome now started jumping up and down, along with Miroku and Inuyasha. "Why can't we have some?! I'll play house with you later, I promise!"

"What is this 'house' you speak of?! Talk or I'll eat them all!" Kikyou shrieked, then cackled shrilly in her little girl voice.

Kagome, who had been changed to the body and mind of a five-year-old along with everyone else, sucked on her finger, thinking of a way to describe it. "It's when…you dress up in grown-up clothes and pretend you have your own place to live! With a husband and a stove and kids too!"

Kikyou's eyes quickly darted over to Inuyasha, who was still jumping up and down, trying to get at the bag of gummy bears. Her chubby little face twisted into an evil grin of a young girl who knows how to play things out just right, or so she thought.

"Okie-dokie," Kikyou said slyly, swinging the bag of gummies around her pointer finger, "You can have the whole bag if Inuyasha gets to be my husband!"

No one could determine if she meant just for their game or for life and the life after death. No one could really fathom that much, except maybe Kikyou, bless her dark morbid mind.

Kagome thought long and hard for about five seconds. "Sure! But then I get to play with him, kay? You hafta promise, Kikyou! You have to!"

"Hmmm…okay!" Kikyou agreed, clapping her tiny pale arms together, then rubbing them in haste.

Miroku was fidgeting impatiently next to Inuyasha, who was trying to figure out what a stove was, and if it was a bad thing. He was pretty sure what a husband was, but he didn't know how a house would work out without a wife. And he knew darn well that Kikyou couldn't be his wife…because she floats!

"Umm, who am I supposed to be with in this game thing?" Inuyasha asked, staring at Kikyou, who was still hovering.

"Me, of course!" Kikyou answered, sending him a fiery look.

"But…you are a crazy, flying youkai-girl with gummies!" Inuyasha replied, speaking his mind and thinking nothing of it.

Miroku and Kagome merely stared. They didn't know what to make of the situation, and so Kagome just shared her newly won bag of gummies with him.

"That's it, mister! You're coming with me, to the bad place! Umm…I mean…hubby, we're going home now!" Kikyou yelled, finally descending on the ground.

As Kikyou dragged Inuyasha off to build their "home", Kagome shouted through a mouthful of gummy bears, "Just make sure I get my turn with him after lunchtime!"

"Yeah, yeah!" Kikyou shouted back, dragging Inuyasha over the hill they were playing on.

"So…" Miroku mused, chewing not-so-thoughtfully on an orange gummy bear, "What do you wanna do?"

"We can play dress up!" cried Kagome, running over to her yellow bag.

"Okies," Miroku mumbled, feeling like someone was missing. He shrugged off the feeling and joined Kagome in finding something in her pack to wear.

-*-

Was it good? Bad? Tell me what you think!!! Should I stop or go on?! Thanks for reading! And, hopefully if you like Chapter One, you can look forward to Chapter Two soon!! ^_^