This is pure crack and I have no excuse for it. Especially not when I should be working on other big crossover projects.
I own nothing. Bioware and Valve get all the credit for creating such memorable characters.
Alliance News Network presents - MEET THE NORMANDY
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[D.A. notes- Look, I'm all about boosting ratings, but I'm not so sure this was a good idea. Some of these people are absolute lunatics. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad they're on our side, but I'm not sure we want to be glamorizing their behavior. For example: this is all I could get out of the great krogan leader Urdnot Wrex.]
SETTING: A cargo hold on the Normandy. URDNOT WREX sits on top of a crate, holding his shotgun in one hand.
WREX: I'm Urdnot Wrex, and this [holds up shotgun] is my M-300 Claymore. The krogan are the only race that can fire it without cheating and getting some lame modifications. Only fires one round at a time, but [looks intently at camera] that's all I need. [Chuckles]
ALLERS: I was hoping to ask about your efforts to unify the krogan clans -
WREX: [lifts shotgun again] Was someone messing with my shotgun? I bet it was that turian. He thinks he's so funny. I'll have to think of something good to pay him back with.
ALLERS: Can you explain your decision to -
WREX: [Leans forward and stares directly at camera] People don't think much of the krogan. They think we're just big dumb brutes who can be pushed around. But I haven't met anyone who can push back against this. [Lifts hand. A blue biotic corona flares outwards towards the camera, which falls over. ALLERS can be heard cursing in the background.]
WREX: [laughs loudly]
END SCENE