This is part of my 'Pissed off Romance' series and is told from Harry's POV.

Fuelled by; when things go the wrong way, but your strong nature strives to get you through.

Ash

'A ride for two!' You told me, 'Just a place for you and me to get away from all this false bullshit!' And it sounded good, this place in the outskirts of Hogwarts, so good that when we got there via a stolen car from a Muggle village I nicknamed Millionaires Row (and I guessed your wealth sniffed out this place for it was lined with cars I often saw Vernon and Dudley drooling over and houses like no others I had ever seen), that I didn't want to leave.

You magically hotwired the car, a black sports car I'm guessing from little experience, and you scooted in with me mimicking on the other side with slight hesitation over what we were doing. 'Its no problem, trust me!' and your words assured me as I lazed back in the seat after closing the door quietly.

How you ever learned to drive is still a mystery, for I never cared to ask due to my thoughts that night being overloaded with how I got to this place in my life, with a former enemy by my side.

It happened out of fate, you and I that is. Remember meeting me outside that night I had starved myself so bad I passed out in the winter's snow? That was last December and I am now laying in the summers sun of what should be my seventh year at Hogwarts, however I don't attend that place anymore. Sixth year started my depression, which resulted in starvation and self mutilation and a rough habit of taking muggle drugs I found in Hogsmeade's resident black market basement. These obsessions quickly started to worsen because of Hogwarts and the hell within it.

It didn't take long before my lust to become apparent towards you and for you too respond to my interest. It wasn't long after our first kiss that we fucked our pain away.

And it was that night you decided to show me the way I wanted to live my life that I knew I had fallen in love with you. You took me three hours away from Hogwarts but I didn't care you had lied to me and told me it was close to our school. It was a beautiful house, set very close to a lake that looked magnificent in the warm light of the dying sun. There were hills all around us and the solitary air of our surroundings blew me away, just like you did too as our kisses became to lustful and I pushed you too your knees, right there, even before seeing the bohemian inside of our wonderful house.

Muggle life came easier than I expected and it seemed that even though I was raised in a predominantly Muggle family, that you knew more about the inn's and out's of the Muggle world. You lied your way perfectly into the world of business and had made us a comfortable life.

You also spent a lot of time away from home, leaving me in loneliness and worry at our home in the middle of nowhere. Work got hard, work got heavy and for some reason you decided to bring work home in the form of some gorgeous lawyer who you fucked whilst I pretended to be asleep on the couch downstairs.

I pretended I didn't know about your exploits until I burst one day in the kitchen as you sat there with your Malfoy glare and told me that you loved me more than anything. I told you I knew and you stared as if I was stupid and making things up.

'I didn't think you would mind!' You purred, 'I thought you would have given into temptation and joined me!'

I told you not to be stupid and you only gave me evils in hope to shut me up. It worked well, I did shut up.

I obviously didn't talk to you for so long that I pushed you away further, for you stopped making love to me and when you did fuck me it was always short and bitter and it stung so professionally that I knew I shouldn't have ignored the rumours of you back when we were at school. They all told of you being heartless and cheating on this and that person and when I was recovering in your arms from my addictions, you told me that these rumours were just fabrications. Lies from people that hated you for whatever reason.

I hate you and you hate me and every morning I wake up to the empty sound of your fast car pulling from the driveway with magical speed to get to your latest fuck, and I know that tonight you shall either come home and ignore me or not come home at all.

XxXxXxX

My constant thoughts of whether you shall ever change were shattered one morning as I once again woke up to the sound of your car leaving my world for yet another day. In my hazy slumber I hadn't realised that it was earlier than you normally leave and that thought didn't enter my mind until my eyes opened and I was greeted with a dark room and a moon still high in the sky, over the lake we live by.

I casually got up and shook off the thought of what time it may be and headed for the routine piss I normally take in the mornings and after wiggling my way with fatigue out of the bathroom I walked to my kitchen that seemed to be the centre of my house and peered at the microwave's clock. It shocked be greatly when the timer read 4am and I struggled to get a grip on why you would have left me so early.

You hadn't told me that there was something special about today, and yet I hadn't asked you anything to cause you to tell me anything of that nature. In fact, no words had been swapped between us since the last time you disappeared for three days straight and came back in new clothes and love bites all over your neck.

Once again, my thoughts were broken as I stood in the early morning light and laid eyes on the letter held to the fridge by a magnet. It was addressed to me in your elegant handwriting and I pulled it off hastily and opened it with just as much excitement.

'Harry,' you said.

'Harry, Its been nearly two years of you and I and I think that's been a year and a half too long on your part. Putting up with my never should have on your agenda and I am thankful to know someone loved me enough to show such naivety to the shit that I put them through.

I am leaving now, because I cannot stand to look at your face whilst you sleep and note all those hopeful attributes you claim hold on. I need you Harry more than life itself, but the guilt of ever selling myself to others and hurting you is too much to bear.

So I leave you now, in this house that I never admitted to you was once your mothers and fathers holiday home, claimed by the Death Eaters and given to me at an early age, and hope that one day our paths shall cross once again and pray for your forgiveness in hope you'll accept.

I am sorry I have been such an untrustworthy fuck up and hopefully your wounds shall heal.

Draco'

Is that all you have to say to me my pretty little run away? Is that all you leave me with? The memory of a thousand lies and broken promises? You were my first, my only and you left me with nothing. You didn't leave me with an hour of lovemaking to let me know how much you love me, nor a thousand sweet words even if said with distaste.

You left me cold and bitter and I resent you for that. I hate this house, I hate the walls that line the lies of my life and I'm sorry to say that all of this started with the claiming of this house as ours.

Were my parents ever really here? And do I really care? In all honesty I don't care and I don't believe I ever will for my parents are just a figment of a memory so long ago it is sinking into less of a reality than it should be, along side my happy memories of those times with you.

You healed me, sealed my belief in myself and the power I hold and you broke all of that by leaving me the way you did and now I now your never coming home, even if it is for clean clothes that I have washed, or a hot meal in an environment carved around tension and if truth be told, if truth be barely uttered with a mere whisper or told in barely-there ink on a page in my diary, then I shall tell you that it does matter to me that you are never coming home now that you mention that I matter to you and that you need me even through the parting letter in our life together.

And if the radio holds any truth in my life, then it would be fate that as I sit alone in the sun-lit sitting room thinking, it is playing a song that reminds me of the night I ran away from reality and hit something so much more like poison than the watered down version that is life and that is you Draco, life with you.

And searching for you will never be an option for me, for I need no comfort nor respect and would prefer to think of you somewhere safe and warm instead of selling yourself on the streets of England and I need no end result in this story between you and I, for its been a great ride with you and the thoughts of our happy memories together shall always keep me going on this roller coaster ride of fate and I know inside I shall always love you, no matter how late I get up now I don't have the sound of your fast car driving away every morning.