Author's Note: This was my second fic for this year's Christmas Calendar on the Lauren Lane Fanpage, though it is in no way related to my other calendar fic from this year. Takes place a few weeks after the Season 6 episode: The Hannukah Story. Merry Christmas and happy holidays, everyone!
No Room at the Inn
If he weren't so miserable about being on the road in a blizzard on Christmas Eve, Niles would have laughed at the sight of CC Babcock covered in snow standing outside the airport. Upon seeing her ride pull in, she made a point to impatiently tap her foot and glance down at her watch. Niles put the car in park, popped the trunk, and shrugged. With a shake of her head, she dragged her heavy luggage around back. He grinned mischievously and honked the car horn at precisely the right moment, nodding in satisfaction as he heard a thump followed by a "Dammit, Niles!"
She slammed the trunk shut and he rolled down the window, calling out to her, "I'm sorry, I couldn't hear you over the Christmas music. Do you need a hand?"
CC glowered at him as she slid into the passenger seat, brushing snow off her shoulders. "I didn't expect your decrepit old arms to be able to lift my luggage anyway. Now step on it; I'd like to salvage what's left of this miserable night with a stiff brandy and at least 14 hours of sleep."
Niles hit the gas, shaking his head as he pulled out of the airport. "You just had to pick the furthest away airport, didn't you? Nothing can ever be easy with you."
"I didn't pick anything. It was the only flight I could get out on such short notice to Chicago on Christmas Eve. After how crappy Hanukkah was, I wasn't taking any chances staying in the city."
Niles nodded. After being trapped in a car for 8 hours with Mr. Sheffield and Miss Grace, he could understand her wanting to be someplace else for the holiday. Plus, she really was close with her brother and couldn't wait to visit him. She hadn't shut up about it all week.
"I'm not sure having a terrible Hanukkah counts if you're not Jewish, though," he quipped.
"Well, my track record for holidays has been less than stellar in the last few years. There was this past Thanksgiving, which I spend immobilized with a broken collarbone. There was Christmas 2 years ago, which I spent in a wheelchair. Huh. What do those 2 crappy holidays have in common?" She tapped her chin, feigning contemplation. "Oh, that's right! Both of those injuries were caused by you!"
"Those are 2 isolated incidents! It's not like I did a spiritual rain dance worshipping Mother Nature to get it to snow tonight so you couldn't fly out."
"I wouldn't put it past you."
"What about the Christmas you spent detained in airport security after beating up Santa Claus?"
"That actually was an isolated incident!"
"Sure," Niles said unconvincingly.
CC shook her head and reached for the dial to change the radio station, which featured Bing Crosby singing about his dreams of a white Christmas.
Niles swatted her hand away, "If I'm stuck spending my Christmas Eve chauffeuring you around, we're listening to Christmas music."
"This is ridiculous; I should have just been able to take a cab home. I don't see why every cab company shut down tonight."
"It's a blizzard, Miss Babcock," Niles said with an incredulous look in her direction. "They declared a state of emergency. I shouldn't even be out on the road right now."
"Whatever," she waved him off. "Find better music though."
Niles turned the dial, sighing in exasperation as she vetoed each song. He was so focused on finding a different radio station, he missed a deer darting out onto the road.
"Niles, watch out!" CC yelled, and he looked up just in time, managing to swerve out of the deer's way at the last possible second. The car slid on the ice and off the road, coming to a stop when it hit a tree.
The 2 sat in stunned silence for a few moments, when the radio commercials ended and Andy Williams began singing about the most wonderful time of the year. The irony didn't escape either of them.
"Are you alright?" Niles asked, relieved to see she was wearing her seatbelt.
"I'm fine. You?" She asked. He nodded. "Good," she said and reached over and smacked him on the arm.
"What the hell was that for?!"
"This is the second car accident I've been involved in this month, you boob! What the hell did you go and do that for?!"
"I couldn't hit a deer on Christmas Eve! That would be bad holiday karma!"
"Oh, for crying out loud. I've got news for you, Griswold: a car accident on Christmas Eve isn't great karma either. Now get out and push the car. I'll put it in reverse." She flipped through the stations, laughing evilly as she found one playing Rudolph. "Hey – do you think that was our friend out there?"
"Only you would joke about almost hitting Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer with a car on Christmas Eve," Niles said, a hint of amusement in his voice as he undid his seatbelt.
They exited the car, CC getting in the drivers seat and Niles standing out in the cold, regretting earlier when he found amusement in CC standing in the snow. Karma. He nodded to CC, indicating he was ready, and she hit the gas. He pushed hard, but the car wouldn't budge. He tried again, pushing harder, and still nothing happened. On the third try he pushed with all his might, when his feet slid on some ice. Before he could register what was happening, his feet slipped out from under him and he found himself face first in the snow.
He contemplated staying there, sure that dying of frostbite was more favorable than getting up and facing the humiliation. He faintly heard the car window roll down.
"Are you okay?" CC asked, and he had to give her credit; she tried really hard to keep the laughter out of her voice.
He pushed himself up. "Just a bruised ego."
"Good, so it's okay for me to laugh at you," she dissolved into a fit of laughter.
Niles glared at her as he opened the door and slid into the passenger seat. "Yeah, yeah. Get it out of your system now."
"That was the best Christmas present you could have given me," she said breathlessly, wiping tears of mirth from her eyes. "Anyway, I should have known you wouldn't be able to push the car out. You couldn't even lift my luggage."
"Because loads of people can push cars," he mumbled sarcastically. "And besides, I could lift your luggage. I just chose not to because it was more fun for me watching you struggle to do it in the snow."
"Lazy oaf," CC muttered under her breath as she reached for her purse and pulled out her cell phone. "Looks like Maxwell will have to tear himself away from his precious family to come rescue us. Though his track record for driving in the snow is just as bad as yours. Maybe we'll run over an elf on the drive home!"
Niles sighed. "He'll probably tell us to believe in miracles – that the car will stay running for 8 hours – and he'll pick us up in the morning."
"I hate how right you are," CC nodded in a rare moment of agreement, then she cursed as she flipped open her phone. "Oh come on!"
"What?"
"It's dead!" She opened and closed the flip phone, shaking it frantically and banging it on the wheel.
"Ah, because destroying the phone will get it to turn on," Niles deadpanned.
She glowered at him. "Okay, genius, why don't you call them?"
"I don't have a cell phone."
"Oh, true, it's not like you could afford one. Or have any friends to call for that matter," CC cackled, slapping her knee.
"Yes," Niles rolled his eyes, "we're trapped in the snow with no way to get help, so naturally now is the best time to make fun of my lack of money or friends."
"We could die, Niles. I'd say now is the best time! At least I'll die knowing I got the last word in," she sighed dramatically, draping a hand over her face for good measure.
"We're not going to die. Look, I think I saw a sign for a motel a little while back on the road. We could walk there and ask to use the phone."
"Good. That sounds good," CC said with a determined nod. "You do that, and I'll wait here."
Niles simply stared at her.
"What?" She asked, her eyes widening in innocence.
"You're out of your mind if you think I'm braving this blizzard alone, Babs. You're coming with me."
"I am not!"
"Yes you are! Besides, it could be fun! Maybe it'll be a Holiday Inn!"
"Why would that be fun for me?" CC wrinkled her nose. "Those hotels are 2 stars at best."
Niles stared at her in disbelief. "I meant because of the Christmas movie. Where's your Christmas spirit, Miss Babcock?"
"Someplace indoors, with heat and a minibar," CC said, crossing her arms and jutting out her chin in stubbornness. "Still, I'm not going, and you can't make me!"
Nearly an hour later, CC was sure she'd be losing vital body parts to frostbite. "Oh sure, Niles. 'Just a little while back on the road.' So we can add 'sense of direction' to the long list of things you're terrible at."
"We'd have gotten here a lot faster if someone hadn't insisted on bringing her luggage with us," Niles countered from in front of her as he carried the other end of her suitcase.
"Well, excuse me. I have no idea where we are. I wasn't about to leave my valuables for the hobos to steal!"
"No one in their right mind would be out breaking into cars in this weather!" Niles craned his neck to give her an exasperated look.
"Judging from the looks of this motel, I'd say you're wrong," CC nodded towards the dilapidated building standing before them.
"Oh Christ." Niles said as he turned back around, shuddering at the sight of the motel – The Paradise Inn, though most of the lights had gone out in the sign.
"You're right, Niles. This is just like Holiday Inn. My favorite part of the movie was when Bing Crosby dressed up as his dead mother and killed a woman in the shower, then sang about it while Fred Astaire danced. Hey look at me! I found my Christmas spirit!"
Niles shook his head - CC couldn't tell if it was from amusement at her joke or exasperation at her sarcasm - and they headed into the lobby. A man with long, scraggly hair, a dirty white t-shirt, and faded denim jeans sat at the front desk watching television. CC almost opened her mouth to declare victory in their argument over whether or not there were hobos in the vicinity who'd break into cars, but Niles shot her a knowing look and let go of the suitcase without warning. The weight of the other half of the suitcase falling to the ground thrust her forward, and she caught herself at the last second, shooting Niles a glare as he smiled innocently.
The clatter of the suitcase caused the man to look up. "Can I help you?"
"Yes…Fang?" Niles squinted at the man's nametag. The man nodded in confirmation. "Really? Okay then. Fang, we were wondering if we could use your phone? Our car got stuck in the snow." Niles explained.
"Be my guest," Fang pushed the phone towards them.
Niles dialed the Sheffield's phone number.
"Mr. Sheffield? Miss Babcock and I got into an accident…No, no we're fine. We just slid on some ice and the car is stuck….I know, second time in a month – can you believe it? I know…We managed to find a nearby motel. The Paradise Inn…Could you come pick us up?...Yes, yes I know it's bad out. Remember when I told you that earlier when you insisted I pick Miss Babcock up from the airport?...No, no you're right…Fine. Tomorrow. Yes. I'll call you when we're ready to be picked up. See you then, Sir. Yes, Merry Christmas to you, too" Niles sighed as he hung up the phone, turning to CC in defeat. "He said the roads are too dangerous tonight and he'll pick us up in the morning."
"What a baby. Alright, we'll take 2 rooms, please," CC said, snapping her fingers at Fang.
"No can do, lady," Fang said with an apologetic shrug. "We're pretty much booked up."
"Hear that, Babs," Niles said with a nudge. "This is just like the first Christmas Eve! No room at the inn!"
"We got 1 room left," Fang offered.
"Is it a stable with a manger?" Niles asked excitedly. CC groaned. "Oh what are you complaining for? You should be right at home with the other barn animals."
"Oh, I'm a barn animal?" CC asked with a raise of her eyebrow. "Then who are you in this scenario? The Blessed Virgin Niles, Patron Saint of Losers?"
Fang cleared his throat, "Uh, it's not a stable. It's just a regular room."
"Fantastic. We'll take it." CC handed him all the cash in her wallet (not willing to chance using her platinum card), and Fang handed her the key and gave them directions to the room.
"I never thought I'd miss the Christmas I spent in the wheelchair," CC bemoaned as they both stood in the doorway to their room sporting matching faces of horror.
"How many murders do you think happened in this room?" Niles asked only half-jokingly.
"At least 50. 51 after tonight though because no way is that going to turn out well," CC pointed to the lone queen-sized bed in the room.
"In the spirit of Christmas I'll save us a fight and take the floor," Niles said with a playful slap on her back. "I'm just happy to be in a room with heat."
"That was easy. Too easy," CC eyed him suspiciously.
"Come on. I can be nice!"
CC continued to stare at him.
"Alright, fine," he relented. "That bed looks so appalling I think I'd need a hepatitis vaccine before getting into it."
CC laughed. "That's more like it." She clapped in glee as she noticed the mini-fridge in the room. "And that's also more like it!"
She padded into the room and flung open the refrigerator door, only to deflate like an inflatable Christmas decoration on December 26th. "You've got to be kidding me," she cried as she pulled out the lone mini bottle of whiskey.
"I have a few dollar bills on me – I'll go out to the vending machine and try to find something to tide us over for the night," Niles offered. "You should get out of your wet clothes before you catch pneumonia."
"You're right. It'd be such a pity to contract pneumonia and hepatitis in one night."
"Pity for you, you mean. I'd have a pretty merry Christmas at your expense," Niles quipped.
"You say that now, but you're always the one who ends up having to take care of me," CC reminded him.
Niles nodded. "You're right. Bundle up! I'll be back shortly."
CC laughed and shut the door, quickly peeling off her clothes and changing into the red, cashmere Christmas pajamas she had purchased for the night. Eyeing the bed dubiously, she decided to sit on top instead of getting under the covers. She grabbed the remote and turned the television on, not surprised to find every channel a static mess.
A few minutes passed as she searched for a channel that wasn't static, when Niles returned, covered in snow and face beet-red from the cold.
"I got snacks," he said through chattering teeth, putting a soda in the fridge, tossing his snack selections onto the bed, and stomping his feet, hoping to return circulation to them.
"Niles, you need to get out of those clothes! You'll freeze!"
"If you'll recall, I didn't bring any luggage, I wasn't traveling tonight, remember?" He asked exasperatedly. "And even if I did have luggage in the car, I would have left it there when we walked here because I wasn't afraid of hobos stealing our belongings."
"You're still sticking with that, huh? Even after meeting Fang? Alright then. Anyway," CC said getting up and rummaging through her suitcase. "You should be thankful I brought my luggage with me. I bought Noel a pair of pajamas you can wear." She tossed him a green, flannel pajama set.
He shot her a grateful look. "Thanks." He headed into the bathroom, and CC sank back down on the bed, perusing the assortment of snacks he bought from the vending machine.
"Niles, what's with these snacks?" she called to him as she continued flipping through the channels. She almost whooped in victory when she finally found a crystal-clear channel. The whoop turned into a jaded laugh as she watched Clarice Starling interview Hannibal Lecter at the hospital for the criminally insane. "Of course," she muttered under her breath.
"Oh I'm quite proud of the snacks," Niles answered as he exited the bathroom sporting the pajamas. He stopped short as he noticed what was on the television. "Really?"
"It's the only channel we get," CC explained.
"Of course it is," Niles said, nodding in defeat. "Usually on Christmas Eve I watch It's a Wonderful Life or White Christmas. But Silence of the Lambs is pretty similar, I suppose."
CC laughed. "So, why are you proud of your snack selections?"
"Oh right!" Niles said with a snap of his fingers. He kneeled down in front of the bed, and CC tossed him the 2 pillows from the right side of the bed. He held up each snack as he explained, "So, chocolate chip cookies, because they're the most popular Christmas cookies. And they're Santa's favorite, obviously."
"Obviously," CC sarcastically echoed.
Niles ignored her. "Ho Hos because they sound like 'Ho Ho Ho.'"
"And the salted peanuts?" CC asked.
"They were the closest things to chestnuts roasting on an open fire." Niles finished proudly.
"Wow, I'm impressed," CC teased.
"I know it's no roast duck or Cornish game hen, but at least we won't starve to death tonight."
"It's fine," she said reassuringly as she opened the peanuts, tossing one into her mouth. "I'm just glad we're not stuck out in the car and that we found a place to stay with heat."
As if on cue, the radiator made a sound resembling Yetta's smoker's cough and promptly died, the only sound coming from the television, where Buffalo Bill's latest victim was screaming for help in the basement well.
"Amazing. Just…absolutely amazing," CC shook her head in disbelief as Niles got up and picked up the phone.
"Hi Fang, it's Niles…you checked us in a little while ago? Yes, hi. Listen, the heater in our room seems to have broken…. I see. I see. And you're sure? Yes, bye." He hung up the phone and looked at CC in defeat.
"Well? What's the verdict?" CC asked.
"Fang said this happens a lot but there's nothing he can do about it, and there are extra blankets in the closet."
"Yep, that sounds like it's in keeping with the theme of this night," CC nodded. "I need a drink."
Niles reached for the mini-fridge and pulled out the can of soda and the whiskey. He grabbed 2 plastic cups off the dresser and handed everything to CC, who looked up at him incredulously.
"Splitting a mini bottle of liquor?" She asked with a raised eyebrow. "What is this, high school?"
"Please, Babs. I know you drank way more in high school."
"Fair enough," she agreed, setting to work on splitting the whiskey evenly between the 2 cups while Niles opened the closet and grabbed the extra blankets from the top shelf, tossing one at the foot of the bed and the other on the floor.
"You look like a mad scientist," he remarked amusedly as he watched her carefully measure the whiskey in the cups.
"Just trying to make every drop count," she said distractedly as she eyeballed the cups one last time before cracking open the soda and pouring it. Satisfied with a job well done, she finally looked up, the proud look she wore morphing into one of confusion as she watched Niles set up his makeshift floor bed. "What the hell are you doing?"
"Building a snowman. What does it look like I'm doing?"
"Niles, you can't sleep on the floor now. There's no heat! We'll both freeze to death! Just get in the bed."
Niles looked at the floor, then at the empty side of the bed, then at her. "Are you sure?"
"Am I sure I want to share a bed with you? No. Am I sure I don't want to die of hypothermia tonight? Yes. Just get in," she lifted her body up and pulled down the covers. The room was growing colder by the minute, and she reluctantly slid beneath the covers, deciding being warm was more important than the cleanliness of the blankets.
"Fine," Niles sighed, realizing she was right as he watched a puff of vapor leave his mouth. He grabbed the blanket and pillows off the floor and climbed beneath the covers on the other side of the bed, fluffing his pillows up and shaking the blanket out over both of them.
"Oh good, just in time for your film debut," he remarked as nodded toward the screen: the infamous Buffalo-Bill-dressed-as-a-woman scene.
CC elbowed him but couldn't hold back her laughter. "You ass." She reached for the end table, handed him his drink, and placed the snacks between them.
They watched the movie in comfortable silence until they both grabbed for the cookies at the same time, their hands brushing against each other by accident.
"Christ, Babcock! Your hand is freezing!" he exclaimed, reaching for her hand again.
"What are you doing?" she asked.
"We need to get you warm," he rubbed her hand between his. "C'mere."
She eyed him warily.
"We need to use our body heat to stay warm," he explained.
"No, I know. I understand basic 7th grade science. I just don't think it's a good idea."
"Suit yourself," Niles shrugged. "It's your funeral. Hey, can I give a eulogy at your funeral? I have some great stories."
"Oh, fine," CC sighed begrudgingly as she slid closer to him. He smirked victoriously and wrapped an arm around her, pulling her closer and rubbing her arm vigorously to warm her up. She settled her head on his chest, relishing in his warmth and the scent of his aftershave. Unable to resist, she began rubbing his chest. "For the warmth," she explained.
They watched as Hannibal ate the guard's face, and CC jumped a little in surprise. Niles responded by pulling her still closer, so she was half on top of him. She looked up at him curiously. "For the warmth," he explained, though the heat in his eyes said he was plenty warm already.
CC trailed her hands up his chest, playing with the buttons on his shirt but not unbuttoning them. "For the warmth," she whispered.
He tightened his embrace even more, pulling her flush against him so she was directly on top of him. "For the—"
CC cut him off with a soft kiss, pulling back just as he began to respond. "Niles, I…I'm not drunk, you know."
"Well, I should hope not, Babs. Otherwise I'd say you were losing your touch," he remarked in amusement. "Hey," he said, squeezing her arms reassuringly. "I'm not drunk either."
"You're not drunk," she repeated in relief.
"I'm not. I want this. I want you, CC" Niles whispered as his hands moved lower. It was the first time either of them had soberly acknowledged there was something between them, and CC found it didn't unnerve her as much as she thought it would. She also found she liked when Niles called her by her first name. She liked it a lot.
"Niles," she pleaded breathlessly.
He flipped them over so he was on top, and she wrapped her legs around him as he crashed his mouth down onto hers. She tangled her hands in his hair as his hands explored her everywhere, leaving a trail of fire wherever he touched. She felt his arousal as he ground into her and she gasped. The blankets and their clothing and their bodies trapped the heat, and CC felt as though she'd never be cold again.
The sound of a gunshot cut through the haze of their passion, and they broke apart.
"Oh my god, I told you there were hobos! They're going to take my luggage!" CC whispered in a panic.
Niles craned his neck, following the sound, and he chuckled. "That's the TV, Babcock."
CC peeked around him and saw Clarice Starling finally shoot and kill Buffalo Bill. "Oh," she said with a laugh as she flopped her head back down on the pillows. "God, turn the TV off."
"Are you sure?" Niles asked, and CC knew he didn't mean the television.
"I'm sure," she said meeting his eyes and went to work on unbuttoning his shirt. "For the warmth," she teased.
"For the warmth," Niles repeated before leaning down for another passionate kiss.
At some point in the night the heat kicked back on, and CC awoke the next morning feeling like she was in a furnace. She quickly discarded some of the blankets, though she stayed curled up against the main source of heat: Niles' body.
"It's a good thing we took our clothes off last night, otherwise I think we'd both have heatstroke," she remarked.
"Mmm, but what a way to go," Niles replied, his voice still raspy with sleep, leaning up and kissing her bare shoulder.
She smiled a satisfied, sleepy smile and turned over to face him. "Good morning."
"Good morning," Niles replied, sporting a matching grin on his face.
"Is it weird that now I don't want to leave this dump?" she asked.
"Yes," Niles joked, and she thumped him on the chest. "I'm kidding, I'm kidding! But we do have to get back to our lives."
"You're right," CC said glumly.
"Where's your sense of adventure, Babs?"
"My what?" Her eyebrows furrowed in confusion.
"Your sense of adventure! Last night was amazing…earth shattering, even. But we were confined to the bed. We couldn't leave the covers because it was too cold. I plan on shagging you on every surface of your apartment as soon as we get home. Every day for the rest of our lives."
She smiled in relief, happy he was telling her in his own way that they were far more than a one-night stand though not rushing into a serious discussion. "Really?"
"Really."
"Good."
"And if you recall," Niles began trailing his hands down her body, "I told Mr. Sheffield I would call him when we were ready to be picked up."
"You did," CC said as she pulled him to her, rolling them over so he was on top.
"Mmmhmm, and I don't think I'm ready to be picked up yet," Niles said between kisses down her jaw and neck.
"I don't think I am either," she agreed as she arched up into him.
He pulled back suddenly, looking at her with such fondness she instantly felt warm all over.
"Merry Christmas, CC."
She reached up and stroked his cheek. "Merry Christmas, Niles."
The radiator shut off again, though neither noticed.
The End! Merry Christmas, everyone!