This story has no true resolution; but, then again, what real story does?

Rachel

Sometimes, I wonder if Jessie St. James really is Jessie St. James. Like, I look at him when we're walking down the hall together. His arm is usually around my shoulder and his eyes are always staring some kid down like a hawk eyeing its prey. That's the Jessie St. James I know.

But then I sneak a peak at him when he thinks I'm not paying attention. Like when we went to an amateur performance of Phantom. I kept thinking that night that I would look over and see him laughing at the kid's lack of talent- which I can fully testify was extremely lacking- or even see him looking bored. That would be the Jessie St. James I know. But that night he was pretty quiet, like he was engrossed in the musical. His eyes kind of danced and I found myself watching him for most of the performance.

Also, yesterday, I invited him home after school. He had been particularly quiet after Glee and wasn't really talking to me. That night was different.

"Rachel?"

"Yes?" I remember squirming and being nervous at that point.

"Could you sit right here?" He asked me. I looked at him in confusion because we were already both on the edge of my bed. "I mean, here?" He shook his head and turned it toward his side.

"Okay."

I sat next to him, my side and leg against his. I could feel him breathing and I couldn't help but look at him inquisitively. He didn't say anything then, just sighed and slid his arm around my lower waist. We sat like that for a while. Hours, probably.

Now, I'm looking at Jessie St. James. He's not looking at me, though. He's looking at Finn who is just looking at the floor. I'm confused.

Finn

I don't know how I'm doing Glee. I don't know how to stay in the songs anymore. The only times I feel like Glee is the place I want to be are when I sing with Rachel. But I've only done that twice in the past month. My stomach hurts.

I don't know how to deal with this. I feel stupid for feeling things so I try not to think about anything. Anything being Rachel. But I hate that it doesn't work.

I don't know what to do because I can't keep watching this jerk pull her leg. But I don't want to pull her leg either so I can't pull his which means I'm pulling mine. I just don't know. I think I need to sleep. I think I need a time machine. I think… I think I need her.

Rachel

I wouldn't tell anyone but myself this, but Finn breaks my heart. Every day. I can't help it. When I look at him, I remember how much I wanted to be by his side. I look at him and sometimes I think that I should be there. But part of me doesn't want to. I hate being hurt. And I hate hurting people. But I really like Jessie and I think that might be hurting me. On the other hand, Finn has already hurt me. Quite a few times.

But Finn, he's just different. I wouldn't tell him because it might affect his performance in Glee, but I just don't feel like he's happy here anymore.

And I've seen him look at me.

In the halls or in the choir room or even during lunch when we sit across the room from each other (which might as well be ten thousand miles long by our student body's standards). But what kind of scares me- even more than this little pull I have in my gut when I think of him- is that when I catch him staring at me, he doesn't look away. We end up in these desperate love/death stares that, frankly, freak me out. When it comes to Jessie, I can hold my own. At least, I think I can. But with Finn, sometimes I feel like I cant stand it.

Jessie

Okay, I know I need to get over myself. I've gotten over betraying VA and I've gotten over basically loosing any notary I might have had by joining New Directions (often called New Defections back at Carmel), but I can't shake this new complex. This Rachel thing.

I pride myself on handling all aspects of Rachel Berry with ease. But this new one isn't as easy. I think it might actually be jealousy. It certainly isn't inferiority. But I see her look at him sometimes and I just want to punch the guy out.

Finn is such a loser name, anyway. Really.

I know I'm supposed to be "Jessie St. James". But sometimes, with Rachel, I feel like just Jessie. I've never had that before. It's been… nice. I never knew I could be anything less than my name.

On a side note, I think I might have freaked her out a little. Which is okay, but at the same time it's not. I need to know that she knows- one hundred percent- that she can trust me. And I don't think she does. These things aren't things that Jessie St. James has ever had to deal with. But now, I do have to deal with them.

I don't like to admit this even to myself, but sometimes I get a little scared.

I think I need to sing…

Thanks for clicking on this bit of a story. It will probably consist of around four chapters. Maybe three. The story is one of impasses and complications. There will be romance, but there may not be happy endings, or any endings at all for that matter. That is what is so liberating about this triangle.

So click alert while you're reviewing and I'll have the next chapter up in a little while. Thank you again for reading.

Simplybofa