"Jesus' I've never heard such poor grammar in my life!"

"It's called crap grandma, and it's what we listen to I guess."

She was right though; grammar was never misused so much until the Black-Eyed Peas emerged. Maybe that's the reason why everyone is school is incapable of completing English class. I could start off the introduction with a "Hi, I'm Sakura!" But that would be awkward wouldn't it? Your probably thinking—"What kind of name is—"

"Put in my Fleetwood Mac, I can't understand how you can stand this music."

"Sure thing grandma."

Ahem, as I was saying . . . Sakura is my name. But people have been calling me animal killer. Heavens knows why . . . I don't really kill animals though—I wore a furry jacket to school one day and now I never hear the end of it. High school is cruel they say, but I say it's just beginners prison. It's not cruel, it's torture. Well at least for most people, most people is me. The work is pretty easy, the hours are manageable. It's the incapable tools that make everything flush down the prison toilet. I mean come-on the system is easy, breaking the system is easier, passing the system—well let's just say grandma—"

"This isn't Fleetwood Mac!"

"Yes it is."

"You wouldn't believe your eyes

If ten-million kangaroos

Came out and ate your food"

"I don't remember this song. . ."

"It's their new album I swear! Now just keep your eyes on the road . . . It's a blind hill"

"Oh yes yes, now I remember. . ."

"Hm. . ."

Obviously this isn't Fleetwood Mac, pardon my behavior. My grandmother is senile, but we still love her. Our family thanks the lord for her ability to still drive me home from swim practice—and she just passed my house.

"Uh . . . you just—"

"Oh I know! I need to grab a few things at my house for your father—and I want you to meet somebody!"

"But. . ."

Oh great, another "my friends son". I seriously have had enough of boys. Why oh why . . . Oh wait I know why—because grandma is a senile—

"I swear it will only take a couple of minutes."

"More like a couple of hours. . ."

"Well that would be nice but I need to get you home!"

"Right and I need to shave my butt. . ."

"Maybe you need to see a doctor about that! That sounds serious."

Yes grandma, butt hair is serious. Come to think of it the only butt hair that is a problem is the wrestling team. This just explains itself. Sweaty, hairy, gay men looking for an excuse to grope each other. Hair would just make it that more sexy. Dear god he better not be on the wrestling team . . . Why is this car ride so long . . . I wish I could say grandma drives slow but the only thing that is slow is her head. No joke. Good choice grandpa.

"Where're here!"

"Joy. . ."

"Oh my! Where is my key?"

"It's in your hand grandma. . ."

"Oh yes, I see now . . . What would I do without you?"

"Not much."

This ought' to be good, a chance for me to make fun—I mean talk to a guy with as much intelligence as I—Whoa…

"Hey you guys are here! Finally. . ."

"Sakura I would like you to meet . . .!"

"Holy s*** . . . you're a girl!"

"Watch your language!"

"Yeah I'm a girl . . . I'm pretty sure I don't have a penis. . ."

"Oh ha-ha, I would hope not. . ."

"Well while you ladies get acquainted I will get my things!"

"Ok grandma. . ."

Holy crap, grandma actually wanted me to meet someone of the same sex. She must be up to something. At least I can rule out the wrestling team.

"So I assume your Susi?"

"It's Sakura."

"Oh . . . Is that your real name?"

"Yea—"

"I thought it was animal killer."

"Sort of."

"Well what is your real name? Is it something embarrassing like Lucy Lou?"

"No not even close, ha-ha. Sakura Haruno."

"Wow. That's a mouthful—how do you live with that?"

How is Haruno and mouthful? I wonder what her name could be; I do hope it is more complex than mine. Then maybe I wouldn't seem so ancient. Curse you Japanese relatives.

"It's manageable. May I ask your name? Let me guess Lucy Lou?"

"Oh god no, ha-ha. I'm Ino Yamanaka. Nice to meet you Sakura."

"Likewise."

Well I was wrong about many things today. One, my grandmother is smarter than I thought. Two, I found a name weirder than mine. Three, Lucy Lou should be the name of my next dog. Last but not least, I have just realized how nice it is to actually meet somebody with a brain.

"Alright then."

"So—"

"Bunny I'm back! Let's get Ino home."

"Grandma I'm the one you need to bring home."

"Nonsense Ino can't just be here by herself!"

"Actually I have my own ride home Ma'am."

"Oh I see, I see. Then we best be on our way! Come along Saki!"

"Hold on, hey Ino do you have an aim?"

"Yea, it's OnePunchOneKick. It should be pretty easy to remember!"

"Alright, I'll IM you later tonight."

"Kay, see you later."

"Yeah bye. . ."

That car never was this cold, I must have been talking for at least 5 minutes tops . . . I think. . . Today is most certainly the weird day of the week. I have to make sure I mark that down today—or blog it. Blogging seems more like—

"So did you two have fun?

"We talked for like five minutes grandma. . . "

"Good! It's wonderful to see you making friends Saki. I was worried you wouldn't have any for the rest of your life!"

"Grandma I have an infinite amount of friends."

"Then why don't I see any at your house anymore?"

"Just because. . ."

"Oh! Look a group of deer! Look at them Saki!"

"Grandma the road."

"Oh yes. The road."

Wait until Naruto hears about this. He definitely would get a kick out of the no friends for the rest of my life comment. I have plenty of friends . . . Ha-ha-ha. . .

"Alright well I'll see you later grandma, thanks for the ride. Don't forget about your glasses ok?"

"No problem Saki, see you tomorrow!"

I'm pretty sure she just forgot tomorrow is Saturday—thus no practice. Poor grandma.

"HEY SAKURA!"

At this point in time I could not say anything, because at that exact moment I was tackled by a very happy and giddy—likely drugged Naruto. What a goof. Now then, I can't breathe.

"N-nfh!"

"Oh, sorry! Your late you know. You're never late like my uncle. Who's always late you know."

"Yes, yes I know! Grandma wanted me to 'meet someone'."

"Ooooo! Is it a boy? You know I'm the only boy "friend" for you! Is he gay? That would be so awesome. Because you know I'm—"

"CALM DOWN!"

"Eep."

"No. It was a girl. No. She is not gay. Yes. You can tackle her too."

Like I said G-O-O-F, goof. It would be a miracle if he could tackle her from now on—instead of me you know. . . Maybe she can even invite him to live with her! Nah, don't dream too big Sakura.

"So—want to get some ice cream?"

No Sakura, say no, say no. No! NOT THE PUPPY EYES. NO! NO! It won't work not this time—and I give up.

"Sure, but you're paying."

"I guess so . . ."

Did he just stick his tongue out at me?