A/N: Hey there guys, it's me MightyMinion here with my first ever fanfic and to be honest I'm shitting bricks uploading so please if you don't want to see this insane writer cry be nice. Any ways now that I got that off my chest let's get down to business. This is in fact a TIVA fanfic although other character's are mentioned. Please R&R it would mean so much to me and also I am sorry if I have miss spelled anything, I am half a sleep writing this and have the attention span of a squirrel so really anything could happen. Thanks for listening and hope you enjoy :)
PS: I OWN NOTHING, BELIVE ME I HAVE TRIED TO CHANGE THAT BUT IT TURNS OUT THAT CBS DON'T LIKE IT WHEN YOU TAKE THEIR STAFF HOSTAGE.
-NCIS-
Ziva's P.O.V
I stepped out of the elevator, Caf-pow in hand and marched myself down to Abby's lab. Music burst through the door almost deafening me as I walked in.
"Abby!" I yelled hoping she would realise I was there "Music."
Abby turned around and looked at me before throwing her arms in the air.
"Ziva!" she shouted lifting the remote to turn off her music "You brought Caf-pow... awesome."
I handed her the extra large cup before leaning against the table.
"Have you seen Tony or McGee?" I asked smiling "I went on a coffee run and came back to find empty seats... I cannot find them anywhere."
"No" she replied slurping the bright red liquid "Have you checked Ducky's? I remember Tim saying something to me about Tony wanting to scare 'The Autopsy Gremlin' who I assume is Palmer. Apparently he's going to lie on one of the tables with a white sheet over himself so he can jump out at him."
"I have not" I replied heading for the door "You are coming with me."
"Why me?" Abby sighed sitting her cup on top of her desk "I hate Autopsy you know that."
"Yes, but if Tony is hiding downstairs we can scare him before he scares Palmer" I replied with a mischievous glint in my eyes.
"Okay, I'm in!" Abby laughed excitedly before following me out the door. This was going to be fun.
-NCIS-
"Ziva..." Abby whispered as we arrived at Autopsy "Should we do this, the lights are off... what if he gets scared and punches us."
"He will not punch us." I replied giggling slightly "Now let's go scare him."
We entered Autopsy in silence. Nobody was there apart from us and the sheet. We tiptoed up to the table and stood there for a couple of seconds before finally Abby went for it.
"Ah-hahhhhhhhhhhhhhh" Abby yelped lifting the sheet up to find the dead body of a Navy Captain lying there, half his face missing from a car explosion "Ah! Kill it! Kill it with fire and holy water! Send it back to the pits of hell...and buy him some deodorant. He stinks."
I stood there in complete and utter shock. That didn't just happen...did it? Abby was never going to trust me again.
Suddenly the light's flickered on and a soft voice began to speak.
"Abby...Ziva, is that you?" He spoke while rubbing his eye's.
"Palmer!" Abby and I exclaimed in unison "What are you doing here?"
"I-ah...work here?" he replied, his answer almost sounding like a question "What are you doing here?"
"We-we...were looking for Tony and McGee" I said trying to avoid his gaze as the embarrassment began to churn in my stomach.
"Uh-huh..." he replied with a nod, slightly confused "And the autopsy table was your first guess?"
"Well, when you say it like THAT!" I scoffed, Abby quickly cutting in.
"Does it matter!" She yelled holding onto her stomach "I have just literately lost about 25 years of my life thanks to Harvey Dent lying there! I need air. If any of you need me, I'll be outside trying to regain the oxygen flow to my brain."
A little pale, Abby quickly shot past us out of the room, Palmer still looking a little confused.
"...Who is Harvey Dent?" I asked, breaking the awkward silence.
Tony's P.O.V
I lay pushed up against the laminator, McGee wrapped tightly around my waist as he tugged at my clothes. How did I get here? This was so embarrassing.
"Now McGee, harder!" I exclaimed choking slightly as he pulled me towards him.
"I'm trying Tony, I can only pull so far" I heard him answer as I was once again yanked into the air "Now hold still. You're gonna get us both hurt."
"Fine but if you rip it you're dead" I bellowed falling back onto the long, metal box "You hear me, Dead?"
"I hear you Tony I'll try." He sighed, letting go of me so he could rub his head "This isn't going to work, it's jammed in there tight... I think we're going to have to cut it."
"WHAT!" I snapped as my head shot around to face him "Are you crazy?"
"No Tony I'm not" He replied enveloping me again "But it's the only way. You can't stay here stuck forever can you?".
"Well that all depends-" I began my eyes nearly popping out of my skull "I could quite happily stay here for the rest of my days if it means I get to keep him".
"Oh, stop being so childish" McGee said. I could practically hear his eyes roll "One little snip and it will all be over".
"McGee!" I warned through gritted teeth "If you come near me with so much as a paper-clip, I'll make sure that not even Gibbs can find your body. Do I make myself clear or do I need to hit you with the laminator".
"Crystal" McGee answered.
"Good" I replied with a huff "Now McLovin let's get a-tuggin...Pull!"
I felt McGee's grip tighten around my waist again as he began to pull. Suddenly he stopped and my heart sank as I realised we weren't alone.
"Oh...my...gosh" Ziva said from the doorway as she covered her face "This explains so much".
"Z-Ziva, Abby I can explain everything" I stuttered, trying to move.
"Maybe later, DiNozzo" Abby laughed pointing her phone at us "But right now I'm making you and Timmy my new cover photo".
"Erm...I have to go and jump off a cliff" Ziva added all colour drained from her face as she brisk walked out of the break room.
"Z-Ziva!" I shouted as I ran for the door only to be choked and pulled back by my tie which had got caught in the laminator. "M-McGee...McGEE..." I cried, my voice sounding that of E.T's "Un-plug!"
"Oh yeah. We never thought about that." He piped up as he unplugged me from the wall "Now go."
I grabbed the laminator and sprinted out the door, nearly hitting the wall as I did a sharp turn into the office. I looked around hoping to see her when suddenly It hit me...and by it, I mean the back of Gibbs hand.
"DiNozzo why in the hell do you have a laminator?" He asked confused as his hand ricocheted off the back of my skull.
"Didn't you get the memo? It's take your office supplies to work day, but since my printer is off sick I decided to take lammy here instead" I replied bobbing my head up and down in search of my partner "So if you would be so kind as to point me in the direction of Ziva it would be greatly appreciated."
Gibbs just stared at me as if I were a couple of cans short of a six pack.
"...She just headed towards the restroom." He whispered to me, and within seconds I was off back around the corner.
"Ziva open up! Open up Ziva! ZIVA!" I head butted the door trying to get her attention "I know that looked bad back there, but I promise...I was not getting it on with McGee!"
I stood there in silence for what felt like ages until finally the door opened.
"Hi..." A small, blonde woman said trying hard not to laugh as she pulled at the handle "I'm guessing you need in?"
"Eh, um... yeah thanks" I replied in embarrassment as I slid past her and watched as she left giggling. I was definitely going to be the talk of NCIS tomorrow.
I walked deeper into the bathroom, quickly finding her standing facing the mirror. She was beautiful.
"Hey" I said walking up to her "Why did you run?"
"I'm sorry Tony but it's not everyday you see your boyfriend being dry humped by another man" She said, turning to looking at me "Plus, I'm not going to lie...it freaked me out."
"We were not dry humping! I got my new silk tie stuck in the laminator and McGee was helping me get it out" I laughed slightly, nodding down to the beast of a machine in my arms. My once flashy Armani tie poking out from the top "See! You have nothing to worry about".
"Wait...how did you get your tie stuck in the laminator?" She asked in confusion.
"Eh...I dropped...something..." I replied, watching her as she raised a perfectly sculpted eyebrow, her arms crossed over her chest as she tried to bite back a smirk "And yes I do know that sounds bad, but I can explain! You see, I went into the break room to get a doughnut..." I could feel my mouth begin to water at the memories "...Krispy Kreme's..." I sighed lovingly "I've always loved Caramel Dutch Apple Pie...Cinnamon Twists...Those sweet little chocolate sprinkles..."
"Tony. Focus." Ziva said, snapping me out of my trance.
"Sorry." I blushed, feeling the urge to wipe my mouth "Anyway, I grabbed one out of the box and it fell behind the table. So, I bent down to get it and my tie got caught...Next thing I know, McGee is on my ass faster than a fly on a cow pat."
There was silence. Ziva's brows drawing together as she stared at me.
"...A doughnut?" She finally spoke, her voice far too calm for my liking "You ruined a 100% silk Armani tie...for a doughnut!?"
"Not just any doughnut..." I gasped, hugging the laminator a little closer to my chest "...Krispy Kreme Doughnuts."
"Tony, it's a dessert." She replied.
"Ziva, it's a gift from God!" I'm going to be having some serious words with her later on "Anyway, that's not important just not...What's important is that I do not find the image of McGee rammed up my ass appealing in any way."
Giggling a little, Ziva's arms made their way round my neck.
"So I do not have to worry about you and McGee running away together?" She asked with a chuckle.
"Ziva, the only way I will leave you for McGee is if he is filled with a delicious whipped cream centre and covered in sprinkles." My eyes widened as she erupted in laughter. Damn it DiNozzo! Think before you speak! "Do me favour...Could you just shoot me now before I have you questioning my sexuality again."
Laughing once more, Ziva began to tug me out of the bathroom.
"Come on, Sprinkles." She said "Let's get you out of this before your foot goes any further down your throat."
"Thank you." I replied with a sigh "...Then we could go get a Krispy Kreme..."
"Tony!"
"What!?" I exclaimed "Look on the bright side...Least this time I've got one up on the laminator."
-NCIS-
Yay, I have finally reached the end and can now go to sleep... you have no idea how happy I am right now. Anyway thanks to anyone who read this and I hope to hear from you soon, Also check out my sister's fan fiction account her name is '5t4c3y' and she is just as insane as me. Bye guys!