a/n ; this is inspired by "beware! criminal" by incubus. written late at night. kthx. review it if you'd like. i don't own incubus or whatever.
I'm opening my eyes at the sound of the alarm, but it isn't light yet, and it's somewhere around three AM. I don't even notice that you're not in bed beside me, because I've just resigned myself to believing it's something you have to do. You need to get out at night because I hold you down during the day.
Admittedly, though, I would hold you down in the night if you were here. If you wanted me to. If you had any inkling that yes, I notice when you're not there, and I want you to be there.
It's cool how you kiss me goodnight, and then within ten minutes you're up and dressing to go out to dive bar down the street to meet whoever the hell it is that you meet. I guess I could solve this by staying up until 1 AM in the living room drinking myself stupid, but that takes effort for me. I don't feel like staying up late just to keep you here.
You can go. I don't care.
Not that you would stay if I asked you to.
So it's late and I'm alone, and I still have no clue why the hell my alarm went off, when you waltz in, a bit tipsy and stumbling, and smelling like cigarettes and someone else's sheets. I won't lie, you still look really, really good to me, which is probably my problem. As much as I don't wanna be lying in bed alone while you walk in drunk and happy from another night with whatsername, I still wanna wake up next to you.
I stay because I like waking up with your hands tangled in my hair, warm and calm and sleepy. If you were anyone else, I wouldn't care, obviously, but since you're you, I just wanna be next to you.
I'm not making sense, but it's fucking 3 AM. I don't have to make any goddamn sense if I don't want to. So I'm just gonna pretend I'm asleep so nothing awkward has to occur, and we can follow the pattern we've fallen into. Someday I'll walk, but not now.
It's too late to go anywhere, anyway.