A/N: Umm, okay so I thought of this while I was in like a sanitarium place. So umm... Well, it's weird. Hope you like it.

"Jeremy, I'm not leaving you at home to do God knows what," Elena said. "You're coming with me."

"I'm not a kid, Elena," Jeremy said. "And you aren't a parent."

"I don't care, you're coming," Elena said.

"You're such a massive slut you're probably going to their house to do both of them at the same time," Jeremy said. By them, he was referring to the Salvatore brothers.

Elena took a step forward and slapped Jeremy across the face. "Now, Jeremy!"

"Okay, fine!" Jeremy said, pouting.

Elena drove them both to the Salvatore house and knocked on the door. They waited a few minutes but no one came to the door. "Let's just go," Jeremy said. Instead Elena pulled on the door handle. It was unlocked. She took a few steps into the house before stopping dead in her tracks. "Whoa," she said.

"What?" Jeremy said following behind her. "Whoa."

"What?" Damon said, shrugging. There he stood bare-ass naked.

"Umm... your..." Elena started.

"My what?" Damon asked.

"Your schmeckel," Elena said, pointing and giggling.

"Wow, have you never seen one before in your life?" Jeremy asked.

"Never one this big, maybe," Damon said proudly.

"Never one, that uncircumcised," Elena clarified.

"You know what, me either," Jeremy says. "It has character."

"Yeah, Elena," Damon said. "Jeremy likes it, why don't you?"

Elena couldn't stop staring. Damon stood there valiantly, unashamed.

"Can I..." Jeremy said. "Can I touch it?"

"Jeremy!" Elena squeaked.

"Of course," Damon said.

Jeremy reached his hand out and made it halfway there before he hesitated and pulled it back.
"You're just messing with me, right?"

"I don't know." Damon responded with an arrogant shrug and a tilted smirk. "Am I?"

"Jeremy, I really don't think it would be appropriate for you to touch his dingdong," Elena said.

Jeremy reached out and delicately stroked Damon's foreskin.

"Impressed, aren't you?" Damon said.

"Wow, I wish mine was half this nice," Jeremy commented. Damon's above average-sized soldier stood at attention as if to prove how glorious it really was. Elena just looked on at the two boys incredulously.

"Well, let's see what your situation is down there," Damon said.

"Elena, can you give us a bit of privacy?" Jeremy asked.

"You're both crazy," Elena said holding her hands up in the air and walking out of the Salvatore house. Jeremy immediately dropped trou.

"It's not that bad," Damon said. "I mean it's not mine, but..." He got down on his knees allowing for closer inspection. "Actually, this is pretty great."

"You're not so bad yourself," Jeremy said.

"So, just to be clear, this is going to end in sex, right?" Damon asked.

"I had not thought that far ahead," Jeremy said honestly.

That was when Stefan walked into the house, yelling. "Damon, what did you do to piss Elena off?" That was approximately the second when he saw Damon and Jeremy. "What the fuck?"

A/N: Umm... k I kinda decided I'm going to write at least one more chapter, possibly with some smut. So story alert it and review if you would be so kind?