Pony P.O.V
"It all started with just one dog and a fight with Darry when I was nine...
We'd been arguing about something I did by accident, I think I broke something of his, but I remember us screaming and me running out crying into the back woods.
I had just stood heaving when this dog, jumped out...
it scared me so suddenly when it jumped out from the trees and I just, grabbed a nearby thick branch and swung as hard as I could...
I remember hearing such a loud, indescribable yelp, a thud, then nothing...
when I had opened my eyes I saw its brown furry body laying motionless on the ground and when I walked up to it...
The puddle of blood was just, a size that, I never thought I dog could bleed so much...
I remember silently crying, my eyes being wide from fear.
I remember shaking and dropping the stick as I stumbled to the ground, looking into the bashed in skull of the poor dog, I wasn't stupid, I knew id killed it.
The way its skull fragments and busted jaw aligned in an abnormal way, I couldn't take my innocent eyes from such a horrible thing...
But when I ran away back to my house I do remember stopping, looking down at my bloody hands and splattered shirt with fascination, in its color and the feel in my hands.
I remember not feeling, angry anymore, just, awed almost...
I do remember hearing my mom scream when she rushed to me, her wide blue eyes looking at her blood covered child in fear.
I remember Dad running out also, looking at my mom who was frozen at the porch, then his eyes turning to me as he ran grabbing my small shoulders in a tight grip...
"PonyBoy why are you covered in blood boy...by god what happened whos blood is this!"
I remember Darry and Soda and the rest of the gang were standing being held back by my mom, away from me and dad...
I couldn't talk, I just stared at him...
staring into his emotion filled face, his searching blue green eyes for any wounds and when he couldn't find any he looked into my eyes.
"Boy, you need to be very honest with me, what. Did. you. do"
All I did was point into the back woods and I remember him running back, as my oldest brother broke free of my mothers grip, I collapsed to the ground.
I stared down at my hands, pieces of dirt and bark from the branch remaining as he just looked at me with a look I had not seen before...
He rushed after Dad, as I remember my moms voice above me as she sunk down to me, her long deep brunette hair draped over her shoulder pushed in the wind...
I remember mom was so...pretty
And her voice was so kind...
she was never mad at me...
"Sweet heart, baby are you okay?" she said softly rubbing my shoulder
I heard dad and Darry return, they wouldn't look at me...
why aren't they looking at me?
They both ushered my mom inside with everyone else, as she kept glancing back at me from the door..
why are they looking at me!?
Mom stopped looking back then, so did Soda...
WHY ARENT THEY LOOKING AT ME!?
I remember I started crying again, silently as my shoulders shook...
Mom stole a glance and saw me...
My fingers were digging into the dirt below me, as my tears were washing away the drying blood
i remember seeing her rush over to me, turning to look and say something until she reached me
"Honey please get up, come on lets get you washed up"
I remember reaching for her hand but I saw my dads almost angered face when I did and flinched back...
He and mom looked shocked when I did that, but I was, was...
.
.
A monster
.
.
.
i stopped crying..
i got up so mechanically..
i began walking, past mom, into the house..
She looked so lost, so confused..
but I couldn't touch her...
she was too pure..
an angel
i..
.
.
.
im just a monster...
.
.
.