Starship Enterprise cut through the galaxy like a meteor streaked across the sky. Wow. Space is great. But alas Kirk lacked the knowledge of space and all it's glories as he served as a lowly grunt in the platoon of Starbucks, stranded in Iowa. If only he knew what hte universe would soon deliver him as the stupid bell chimed by the door. But wiht his head in the coulds-or morem like the gas clouds uncontained by atmosphereic pressers out in space-Kirk didn't take notice to the incomming coustomer.

kirk wiped the counter in front of him and soghed a heavy sigh that was wayy geavier than gravity and sent him crashingg to the ground just ad the new customer was approaching! A chellenger wss approaching and he crahed to the ground wow ironic

death isnt funny folks which is why kirk picked himself up off the nasty tiled ground and smiled a huge smike that almoST BLINDED THE CUSTOMER OH NO HE COUKDN'T BLIND THE CUSTOMER BECAUSE THEN HE'D HAVE TO OBEY COMPANY POLICY AND LICK THE FLIORS CLEAN OF SPILT EXPRESSO ! which was like capitol pjnishment or something but whatever back to TGE FYTURE i nean this sutuation

So this new guy was coming in and his hips swivled in a really way i mean wowza. Kirk was struck on the spot kinda like how lightning storms in space will flip the fuck out because that EXACTLY HOW KIR'S HEART FELT! Ba-boom! Struck on the spot by love. Except he couldn't show that because then he'd have to sclub the toilets with his twootbrush. And that would be reaaaaaaally nasty. So hel held his compuser.

"Welcum to Stirbox," the non-captain of the entsurprise greeted. Wait. This was Starbuckx. "Shoot I mean Stardust." Wow. He was really out of it. He needed to have his ead in the game but Corbin Blu was no wehre in sight to get him back into it so he did it himself. Pulling himself tgether and straightening up (which was hard cause he was feeling really gays) he said wiht compuser, "I mean Starbucks. Starbucks. Welcome?"

The delicious person who wanted to buy overpriced but still Semi-delicious hot beverages and possibly a mediocre stale pastry raised an eyebrow like blinds being yanked on by his mom in the morning when he used to go to school ahaha learnin g

kirk tried again because obviosuly mister blindbrows didn't hear him "i said welcome welcome u hottie" ... Shit "uh i mean we have hotcoffie and thing syes what buy u wsnt to?"

so far so good

jimmy boy's red rocket was about to be granted clearance into sexy customer's shuttle bay for jocking ohhh yeasahhhh wait what did he say?

Apparently the coustomer chico was a mind reader because he repeated what he said. "I want the best you have to offer. Do not confuse quality with quanityt-and especially do not foncuse monetary value with the value of flavor."

Wow. So the guy knew what he wanted. And if hte was a test themn Kirks would do his best do to his very best thatn noone evfeur was. yah. he'll show that angular angel who can make the coffe. who can take home the bakin. who can grind.

like grinding coffee beans

yeah.

Kirk icked himself in hte head but on the inside like internally because his thoughts were gonig a bit toooooo off task and ogoling at the aesthetic alien was no way to make watered down bean sludge.

alllrighty then so kirk got to work and resisted the urge ti twerk and smirk and rhyme and shit

ooooh he sauntered over to a burlap sack of briwn beans whih had better be cofeee beand and not mouse pellets anywhas kirk seductively flicked his haead ovr his shoulder and winked while slowly easjg his calloused hands into the sensuous sack of probably mousr dung and whimpered at the cold, smooth beans passing through his fingers like kitten paws

jim grabbed those beans and swaggered over to the grinder where he ground those beans. He ground those beans goood. All whike looking at yhr snooty hot ohhodfuckmddddreeee customer and licked his lips

Next kirk made the coffee and grabbed the cremen ti put on top, but did 't put it on yet

kirk took the mug and the creme iver to the register area and rung hittie mchotbutt (he ass-umes he's got a great butt) AHAHHA PUN s

anywyas kirk takes the montet from tge man and runs his callloused hands ovdr th e customers and tixkels his palm a littl e

The customer appears startled but isn't writing a restraining irder on a napkin so kirk thinks he's cool with it. damn. kirk hates these blurred lines. so anywya the customer takds the mug and kt loOOKS LIKE HES NOT GONNA GET ANY CREME ON HIS COFFEE SO KRN TAKES mATRRETRS INTO HIS OWN HANDS kirk gentley taps the customer on the sholder and then slides his own hand down the customer's arm, while lt commander of his heart stands motionless in shock or arousal probably arousal anyways so kirk tenderly holds the customermz hand and rheb eases it into an "o" shape and begins moving it up and down in the air whime kirk silmotaneoisly humps the counter ...sufdenly, as quickly s it began, kirk cracked open a seductive eye at the customer and spRAYED HIM WOTH WHIPPED CREME!? SO MUCH CRME!

mystery hottie widened his eyes and shrieked in most likely arousal bdcause hey universal solvent is actually sex it is a proven fact kirk is a scientist of looove a sex scientis t he wants to take your data and observe u all night looonng and wow speaking of long the creme-covered customer is still screaming

"!" he yelled

"!"

wow kirk is mighty worried because he can't even heAR the screamjf but he can see mysterious !s appear aount spock i mean mystery man's head

but like his actuAl head like his think noggin and not his penis head because that woukd be weird and creepy like ? lok the penis is a sex

Noggin AhahahhahaAHAHA oh sshit manager manager manager alERTT BATTLE

SRATIOION S RED ALERT

now kirk was silent screamining,too!

"!" He yelped, "!" he droned. Wow science is amazing

naywyas manager pike walkes up fo fhe customer worh a worried expreasion on his face, looking ad if he was going to right a wrong dk

poopoo