Disclaimer: I do NOT own Twilight or any of the characters
UPDATED CHAPTER
This wasn't real, I thought as the ghost of a hand cupped my face and a phantom kiss swept across my brow. This can't be real, he's gone, and he's been gone for over five years. I had loved him, but I hadn't been in love with him, it had been more of an infatuation; puppy love. He wasn't here, standing before me. This was just a manifestation from my memories. The tears trickled down my face as I looked at the ghost, the memory of the day he left. It was a stab to my already mangled heart to see the day that I broke, the moment that I, Bella Swan, died. It had been painful enough the first time, now it was just a constant nag in the back of my mind, usually I could just block it out, but that didn't mean that my vulnerable mind wasn't susceptible to the pain that arose from those memories. I tried to wake as his voice, clear as the time he had said it the first time, spoke the words that destroyed the fragile thing in me called hope, "I don't love you anymore"… "You're not good enough for me", but that had just been the first time... I listened as the dream continued; a frozen statue in the face of my demons. Now the joy of my nightmares: the climax to my hearts pains. Where in reality he had kissed me and left, his dream self had thought that it had to do more; it had to warp both times, it had to double my pain.
Where this dream took place was about a year or so since the time he left me and returned only because I had tracked him down in Italy. When he had left me that time, he had claimed it was because of his need for me to be safe, but when he told me that it only managed to piss me off. Even after we had somewhat resolved the tension caused by the whole thing, he still brought up his excuse and every time he did I told him just how big his load of bullshit was. The months following his return were rocky at best, but we managed to make it through. As the months went by, though, I noticed something off with Edward. Edward would seem perfectly happy, but then he took a nosedive into depression a few days later when I said the simplest of things. His erratic mood swings continued to come in shorter and shorter periods and became lengthier. It took me awhile to figure out what was going on with him, and even after I did I didn't want to believe what was staring me in the face. Then again, I had been so naïve in the past that I wouldn't have known the truth if it came up and bit me in the ass.
I watched with silent tears streaming down my face as a shape came forth from the trees; gradually growing clearer. A woman came forth from the gloomy shadows of the forest and wrapped her arms around my "mate". Her sweet little smile grew bigger as she turned her face towards me and said the words that broke my heart all over again, "So you must be the little girl Edward mentioned," She turned back to him, "Have you told her yet, I want to get back to the church before they cancel on us; we still have that reservation in Germany at Edelweiss (A/N: pronounced A-dell [like the computer company]-vise) and we really wouldn't want to be late to our own wedding now would we?"The straw that broke the camel's back; I could almost hear the crack in my heart spread as the words registered in my brain.
"Congratulations," I whispered through a dry mouth and a constricted throat.
"Bella," he started.
"Edward," burn, "why didn't you just tell me right off the bat that you wanted someone else; I would've understood," why wouldn't the freakin' burning stop already!
Jolted by the pain from my dream, I woke gasping for breath as the tears rolled down my face. The echo of my sobs hung in the air as I tried to slow my heart. 'The only proof that I have that I still have one' I thought to myself as it thundered in my chest. I swiped the tears from my face and took a deep breath to clear my mind. Charlie's snores were loud, but, thankfully, still uninterrupted. I knew that when I had these reoccurring nightmares that they would wake him. It was one thing for me to be a zombie, a whole other thing for him to be one too; he couldn't afford to be tired what with him being the police chief. Sure we didn't have a bunch of crime, but still, I wouldn't want it on my conscious that my lack of good sleep was what killed my father.
I sighed and looked at the clock, 5:30 AM. I pulled a box out from under my bed and grabbed my black jogging shorts, sports bra, slim fitting black and white Beetles concert tee, and tennis shoes. 'To think I use to be so klutzy that I couldn't walk over a flat surface without finding something to trip over,' I laughed to myself. Stripped down and changed into my jogging gear, I grabbed my keys and left a note on the table for Charlie just in case he woke up before I got back from my jog. Highly unlikely considering it was Saturday and he liked to sleep in on his days off, but still. I didn't want him sending out a search party for me.
As I walked out the door the crisp December air of Washington washed over me and I set off at a steady jog. I usually ran for about thirty minutes to an hour, but today I felt like I could go longer. I jogged past Fork's High school and I saw a few of the teacher's cars parked in the back. I passed Newton's a few minutes later and I saw Mrs. Newton enter the shop and change the 'Closed' sign to 'Open'. Each place I passed I saw that the daily life of Forks was the same every day. I could have been blindfolded and told you the same things I just did. Life was unaffected by them leaving. When people saw me, with my paler-than-before complexion and thinner body, they looked at me with pity; a loathsome expression. I hated it. I wished that they would all just stop doing looking at me like that. It just added to my misery. Did they seriously think that giving me those pity filled looks would make me feel better that my "soul-mate" had abandoned me? That he had never loved me? If they did then that was just rich. Thankfully I got over them leaving; now it was just annoying to have people throw pitying looks my way.
The sun was well above the trees when I was coming up on my second hour of jogging and I needed to head home. I was covered in sweat and grime from the long and hard jog that I did. As it was, I had done triple my normal pace today and I was tired. I stopped by the gas station and picked up another bottle of water, my throat was burning. 'I must be thirsty,' I chuckled inwardly at the lame joke. I was walking out of the gas station when I felt…weird. You know that feeling you get when you know someone's watching you? What I was feeling was a lot like that, but I also had to be concerned about whether or not my stalker was human. I felt like someone had just walked over my grave, and that is by no means pleasant. I felt an icy chill come over me as I continued to wander back to Charlie's and that uncomfortable prick on the back of my neck that told me something was seriously wrong. My skin was prickling with unease and I had the feeling that I was being watched. I looked around me as discreetly as possible, but I saw nothing and no one other than the newspaper-boy delivering the morning paper. Knowing my luck with everything I had a stalker. Also taking into account my terrible luck and freakish draw to those of the supernatural variety, my stalker was most likely either dangerous, not human, or all of the above. I took a longer route home but I still felt the eyes on me as I closed the screened portion of the front door behind me.