Monsters in masks, twisted metal, blades blazing red and blue, the sickening scent of seared flesh. Hellish visions flashed through his mind as Anakin tossed in his sleep before bolting upright to find himself back in his room; back to peaceful reality. His pale skin was slick with sweat, sending chills through his body as it cooled against his flesh in the frigid night air. He pulled his soft purple blanket closer around him for warmth and comfort. Fighting back the tears that blur his vision, he decides he can't stand a moment longer in this dark room by himself. He tossed off his blanket and started towards his parents' room. They always knew what to do when he started to see things. The visions aren't always of bad things, but sometimes the worst parts of history come back to haunt him. His little footsteps echoed through the stone halls of the temple that they called home as he quickened his pace, as if the darkness of the hallway behind him would catch up with him if he didn't reach their bedside in time. A childish notion, he told himself; he should be a brave, strong Jedi like his parents.
Anakin quietly entered his parents' spacious bedchamber. It isn't as dark as his room; it was faintly illuminated by the moonlight streaming in from the large windows on the opposite wall. He gently nudged his mother's arm to wake her. Rey awakened to the anxious face of her little boy. She knew why he was here; his visions often had him seeking comfort in her and Ben's bed. She sat up and scooped him onto her lap. He curled his scrawny little body against her as she ran her fingers through his thick, wavy hair, gently rocking him. Ben was awake beside them. Rey's concern for their son had woke him through the bond that had tethered them together for eight years since they first met on opposite sides of war. The war their son was born amidst. The war they ended together. He sat up beside her and placed a comforting hand on Anakin's back. It nearly spanned the width of his little torso.
"What was it this time, Anakin?" He asked.
"There was this mask-" Anakin began before he is interrupted by the cries of their family's newest addition. Ben rubbed the sleep from his eyes and combed his fingers through his hair.
"Just a moment, I'll go get her."
He quickly returned from the next room cradling his tiny, squalling daughter. She looked so small and fragile in his arms. He moved back into bed and turned her to look him in the eyes. Moving his face close to hers, he gave her a mock scowl before quieting her cries with a gentle kiss on her forehead. Now done with crying, she scowled back at him. Rey smiled as she noted how similar they were. She may have given her daughter her complexion and hair color, but the rest was all Ben, from her looks to her temperament.
Ben cradled his little daughter against his chest before returning his attention back to his son.
"You were saying something about a mask?"
"Yes, I saw a mask and fire and snow. There were explosions too, I think a lot of people died." Anakin replied gloomily, clinging to his mother.
"What did the mask look like?" Ben asked.
Anakin did his best to describe the silver and black mask under a dark hood, the warped voice, and the fiery blade. Ben's expression darkened and Rey could feel his self-loathing and regret seeping through their bond at the realization of what ghost has haunted their son's latest vision of the past.
"That was a long time ago, Anakin. He can't hurt you now." Ben assured him, covering Rey's hand with his own as it rested on their son's head.
"I know." Anakin replied, "But it was still scary."
"Why don't we try to get back to sleep?" Rey suggested. Anakin agreed and crawled out of her lap and snuggling under the covers beside her. Ben joined them, carefully placing Kiera next to him. With their children safely between them under the warm covers, Ben reached out and cupped his wife's cheek. Their bond electrified at the touch. Feelings of reassurance and affection passed from her mind to his as she smiled at him before leaning over and placing a gentle kiss on his brow, right on the edge of the faded scar that divided his face. He repaid her with a kiss on her lips before they drifted back to sleep.
Anakin awakened. He rolled over to avert his eyes from the morning sun and saw that his family was still sound asleep. The were huddled together with Kiera cradled in his father's arms and his mother snugly curled against his father's back. Spending the night with them had kept the visions at bay, but the ones he had already seen were still burned into his memory, making him feel uneasy even in this moment of familial bliss. Perhaps he should try meditating, he thought, that's what a jedi would do. Anakin quietly slipped out from under the covers and walked back to his room to prepare.
Rey slowly drifted awake, acutely aware of Ben's body pressed against hers. One of her arms was looped around his waist and her leg was curled possessively around his thigh. They fit together perfectly, she thought with a smile, tugging him tighter against her. Ben was roused from sleep by her movements and the thoughts that unconsciously slipped from her mind to his. Even fully awake he was unwilling to interrupt their peaceful embrace; her body felt so small and warm against him. Their daughter was the only one left asleep, he realized. This gave him another reason to remain still; she would likely throw a fit if her sleep were interrupted. Ben would have loved to stay in bed all day with the two of them, but he knew that they had to get up eventually. Rey was the one to finally break away and untangle her limbs from his. She sat up on the mattress and brushed the hair off of Ben's ear before giving it a small kiss. She giggled triumphantly when his ears respond by flushing pink along with his cheeks and neck. "Good morning Ben." she whispered. Ben picked up Kiera with one hand and tugged Rey against him with the other. "Good morning Mrs. Solo." He said with a playful growl. She laughed a bit louder this time, disturbing Kiera and inciting her morning wailing. Rey immediately plucked her out of Ben's hold and began soothing her with sweet words and gentle rocking. It only took a moment to subdue her before Rey placed her back back into her father's arms, giggling happily.
"How do you that?" Ben asked with a smile.
"Do what?"
"Every time she's upset you have her back in a good mood in seconds. All I can do is get her to be quiet at the best of times"
"I've had plenty of practice." Rey replied with a smug smile.
Kylo knew she isn't just talking about Kiera. From the very beginning Rey was the one person to inspire gentleness in him.
"I suppose Anakin went back to his own bed." Ben said, "I suppose the nightmares passed."
"I don't think his visions are something that we can expect to just go away on their own. I believe it's something we need to work through." Rey somberly replied, leaning her head against him comfortingly. She knew this was a sensitive subject for Ben. He spent years atoning for his misdeeds and clearing his name in the eyes others. Now his own son, his new beggining, was plagued by those same misdeeds as well as the actions of his namesake that Ben had once tried to emulate. This wasn't what he wanted. He had kept his family as far from the past as he could, focusing on rebuilding the future instead. He didn't intend for his children to know anything of his past or the past of their great-grandfather and the doomed regimes they had both aligned themselves to in their moments of weakness. He wanted to move past it. Apparently the Force had other plans.
Anakin slipped on his clean robes and selected a cushion from his bed to place on the floor. He then crossed his legs and closed his eyes, trying to clear his thoughts like he had been taught. Breathing slowly, he concentrated, but was unable to find peace. Instead, the visions from the night before began to bleed into his thoughts. He tried to pull away, but the vision latched onto him, like a beast digging in it's claws. This wasn't the same vision as the night before he realizes, this is something entirely different.
The darkness faded as a little boy appeared before him. He had blonde hair and was wearing tattered brown clothes. He was tinkering with an engine out in the desert sun. The vision changed. The same boy was in a room with a young girl.
"I'm a person and my name is Anakin." he told her stubbornly.
Anakin was taken aback by the boy in the vision referring to himself by his own name. His father had told him he was named for his great-grandfather. Was this him? He wasn't told anything about him other than his name. He tried to call out to the boy, but the vision blurred and shifted to a bright room. There were many men sitting in a circle. All of them wore traditional Jedi robes. One of them was speaking.
"You refer to the prophecy of the one who will bring balance to the force. You believe it's this boy?" He asks.
The darkness creeped in as the men faded from view. Anakin finds himself surrounded by fire and ash. Two men appeared before him on the shore of a lava sea.
"You were the chosen one!" One man shouted, "It was said that you were to destroy the Sith, not join them! Bring balance to the Force, not leave it in darkness!"
The man lowered his voice and spoke again.
"You were my brother Anakin, I loved you."
The man lying broken in the embers was the boy from before, his great-grandfather, Anakin realized with horror.
The next thing he saw was two dark figures. One of them pale and twisted under a black hood, the other in a suit of metal with a black cape billowing behind him.
"Henceforth you shall be known as Darth Vader." the pale one announced.
Labored breathing hissed from the black mask of his dark companion.
The image faded again and was replaced by a dark room where the figure from the night before reappeared. It was sitting across from a mangled mask, the same mask from from before, but now in melted ruins.
"Show me Grandfather, and I will finish what you started." The dark figure pleaded desperately.
The vision panned out to reveal a new location. The black, hooded figure was standing in a forest. It loomed over a small woman. Anakin saw that it was his mother, terrified and immobilized.
"Forget the droid, we have what we need." The figure bellowed, sweeping her into his arms as she collapsed. Anakin screamed but the vision didn't respond. He was unable to keep up with the dark entity's long strides and he watched helplessly as it carried his mother onto a ship before the vision shifted once more. His mother was restrained in a dark, metal room with the masked entity facing her.
"You still want to kill me." It said, it's inhuman voice noticeably gentler than before.
"That's what happens when you're being hunted by a creature in a mask." She bravely replied.
The creature stood and removed its mask to reveal a human face beneath. Anakin froze in shock; it was his father. His face was clean-shaven and missing it's prominent scar, but it was undeniably him. His father cupped his mother's cheek with a gloved hand, their faces intimately close. He spoke of her thoughts as he probed into her mind. Anakin had been told by his parents that they sensed one another's thoughts and feelings, but this was something entirely different, something wrong.
"Don't be afraid, I feel it too." His father whispered gently.
At the end of their mental duel his mother overpowered him.
"You're afraid." She said, "That you'll never be as strong as Darth Vader."
Rey was startled by sound of Anakin calling for her between fits of sobbing. Immediately she placed Kiera in Ben's arms and rushed to Anakin's room. He was huddled on the floor, his arms wrapped around his knees. Rey dropped down next to him and held him close, wiping the tears from his eyes and whispering comforting words.
"What happened, Anakin?" She asked.
Anakin rubbed his teary face on his sleeve before answering.
"I was trying to meditate, but the visions came back." He explained, still shaking in her arms, "I saw my great-grandfather! He was little, like me, but then he was big and scary and a creepy man called him Darth Vader! Then I saw you and…"
Anakin stopped speaking when he saw that his father was standing in his doorway. He had heard Anakin's explanation and now had a pained look on his face. Anakin's tears threatened to spill over again at the sight of him.
"It was you! You were the monster!" He wailed, clutching Rey's arm and pointing accusingly at Ben.
"No, don't say that." Ben pleaded, cautiously stepping toward him, "Don't be afraid."
"I saw you with mommy! What were you doing to her? And why were you trying to talk to your grandpa?" Anakin interrogated him, leaning away as Ben tried to reach for him.
"Come with me, Anakin." He said firmly.
"Go on, it's alright." Rey assured him, lifting him off of her.
Anakin reluctantly stepped towards his father, giving Ben the opportunity to pull him into a comforting hug.
"Don't be afraid Anakin." He whispered, "I won't hurt you."
"But why did you never tell me about great-grandpa? And why were you—"
"Slow down Anakin, I'll explain everything." Ben interrupted, "Let's go somewhere and talk."
Ben Solo tried to construct a proper explanation of his family's troubled past in a way that his young son might understand it. This innocent little boy whose only understanding of the Force and Jedi was peaceful meditation and whose only experience with war was brief flashes of memory from infancy. Now Ben knew Anakin's blissful ignorance is shattered along with whatever idyllic view he had constructed of his father, who until today he had idolized as a brave Jedi, a strong protector, and a role model. Now he knew the truth, or part of it anyway. The rest would be up to Ben to explain. He led him to a quiet room and balanced him on his knee.
"Your vision was correct, Anakin. Your great grandfather, Anakin Skywalker was also know as Darth Vader. He did some terrible things, which I suspect you may have already gotten glimpses of. He was a complicated man. But in the end he turned back to the light and protected his family before he died."
"What about you?" Anakin asked, lifting his teary eyes to meet his father's.
"I made some mistakes, Anakin." Ben said, "I followed the wrong people and I did things I will always regret. But that isn't me anymore, understand? You never have to worry about that monster you saw; he exists only in memories and visions, nothing more. I will never hurt you, your sister, or your mother." Ben's eyes are pleading, searching for understanding in Anakin's face. His son looked so small and vulnerable, so hurt. Ben knows he needed to fix this.
"I saw you and mommy fighting, I saw her crying. Why were you hurting her?" Anakin asked.
Ben let out a heavy sigh and pulled Anakin closer to his chest. How could he make a child understand him and Rey when it took so long to understand it himself. When he first met her she had been a means to an end, a prisoner, but even then he had felt something. At the time he had no words to describe it. Curiosity? Attraction? None of them fit, the only way he could describe it was to compare it to a gravitational force. She had pulled him in, unwittingly forging their bond, and had rewritten their destinies into one. Or perhaps their destinies had always been intertwined? Either way, she had become more than his adversary; she was his equal, his opposite, his obsession, his pull to the light. This scavenger girl who had wrecked his master's plans, hated him with a burning passion, and scarred his face and body, had become the center of his universe, his reason for being. How was he meant to put all of that into words to be understood by the mind of a child? He barely understood it himself after all these years.
"I was wrong, Anakin. Your mother is an amazing woman; she made me see that I was wrong and made me want to change. And I did, for her and for you. I spent a long time trying to make up for everything that I did to her and other people; i'm still trying. I don't deserve your mother, you and your sister, but I try every day to do me best for the three of you; I love you."
Anakin considered the things his father had said. Could a person really change from that frightening monster in his visions to the man he saw now?
"I love you too daddy." Anakin said, burying his face in his father's shirt. Whatever monster he saw in his visions was not his father, not as he was now.
Ben sighed with relief and wrapped his arms around Anakin.
"Are you ready to go find your mother and sister?" Ben asked.
He felt Anakin nod his head against his chest. He gathered him into his arms and made his way to their living area where he found Rey and Kiera waiting patiently on one of the couches. Rey was reclined back with Kiera perched on her chest, giggling happily. Rey pulled Kiera to her lap and straightened herself in her seat. Ben smiled at her reassuringly and took his place beside her. Akakin removed himself from his father's arms, instead moving between his two parents. Kiera looked at him curiously and reached for him with her tiny hands. He extended one of his fingers for his sister to grab onto and placed a small kiss on her head, making her giggle. Ben looked over at Rey, understanding passing between them; she heard everything he had said, she always did. Ben curled his arm around her, pulling their children closer between them. He had spoken the truth: he didn't deserve them, but he loved them with every fiber of his being, and by some miracle they loved him back.
They spent the remainder of the day together as a family in an attempt to rebuild some sense of normalcy. As Rey busied herself by taking her turn cooking dinner, she watched Ben in the next room with Anakin and Kiera. Anakin was perched on his father's lap and cradled his infant sister in his arms. Ben was reading to them from his holopad. The two children looked so small against his impressive size it was almost comical. It always amazed Rey to see him looking so gentle and domestic, so far from the terrifying figure of the past. But even now he was still intimidating to people who didn't know him like she did. His exceptional height, powerful build, and impressive battle-scars were enough to frighten most people, but to Rey he was a gentle, patient father to her children, the man who clung to her possessively each night, the one who shared her thoughts and feelings. H was her soulmate, her other half. Anakin's talk of the past had dug up memories they overcame long ago, but they no longer frightened her. They were simply a reminder of how far Ben had come and how much they had been through together. Rey smiled as she saw Kiera giggling in her brother's arms. Ben looked down at his daughter with affection and amusement before ruffling the brown curls on her tiny head. No matter what memories resurfaced, Kylo Ren was nothing more than a ghost of the past.
After dinner, Rey asked Anakin if he wanted to sleep in their bed for the night. He declined, insisting he was a big boy and could sleep in his own room. Rey and Ben hugged him goodnight before putting Kiera in her cradle. Once she was asleep, Rey and Ben were finally alone. They both knew there were things that needed to be said. Rey decided to speak first.
"You did great today, Ben. I know it wasn't easy to explain all of that to him, but you handled it perfectly." She said, shifting closer to him under the sheets. He drew her closer to allow her head to rest on his shoulder. Placing her hand on his his chest, she continued.
"His visions aren't going to go away on their own. He needs us to help him understand and learn to control them. Perhaps Luke could help us as well."
Ben already knew what she was suggesting and it sounded all too familiar: a force-sensitive boy haunted by the monster in his head, sent away to train as a Jedi as if that would solve all his problems.
"Don't think that way Ben, we're not sending him away and we aren't going to use training as some fix-all solution. It won't be like what happened with you, I promise. He will have us to guide him." Rey said.
But he's so much like I was, Ben thought. The force visions, the potential for greatness, the innocence so easily corrupted.
"Just because he is having visions doesn't mean he's doomed." Rey said, "I had visions too; I saw Luke, my past, my future, and you."
"You didn't have the legacy of the Skywalker line hanging over your head like I did. Thanks to me, that legacy will be an even bigger obstacle for Anakin." Ben reminded her.
"We will make it work." Rey assured him, lifting her hand to his cheek and turning his face to meet her gaze, "We can't let things go on like they are. He needs training and guidance.. We can do this, Ben, together."
Ben finally nodded in surrender before placing his hand over hers. He knew she was right.
Anakin carefully mirrored the lightsaber forms his mother showed him in the training yard. While she wielded a yellow, double-bladed lightsaber, he was given a simple rod to practice with.
"When do I get to make my own 'saber Mother?" He asked while awkwardly attempting to mimic the sweeping motion she demonstrated.
"When you finish your training, sweetheart." She replied with an encouraging smile.
"When will that be?" Anakin asked.
Rey could tell that his question stemmed from curiosity, not impatience. She knew he must have endless questions. Until recently, the only experience with the force and the ways it could be used in combat had been limited to observing what he had seen her and Ben doing, which wasn't very much in these times of peace. That was how Ben kept it until training had become a necessity. Rey understood his reasons; he had vainly hoped for a more peaceful life for his son, free of the conflict and trials that force-sensitivity would inevitably bring about. Preventing conflict and maintaining peace had become not only Ben's personal mission, but his career. He first started down that path as a reluctant informant for the Resistance after his defection and from there had gone on to become a useful asset to the reestablished Republic. All of his work was constrained to low-profile assignments and behind-the-scenes operations to appease the many people who still understandably distrusted him. A public political career like his mother's was completely out of the question. His presence was tolerated due to his experience and unique skill-set; the Republic couldn't simply ignore one of the last living Jedi. At least that's what he and Rey most closely resembled. They had completed their training with Luke, but they knew the old Jedi Order was no more. Perhaps once the galaxy had more time to heal from the devastation of war it could be properly revived, but even then it couldn't be in the same way that it was before. For a start, they were married with children, not celibate monks. Also, neither of them attempted to shut out their emotions like the Jedi of old; Rey stubbornness and passion as well as Ben's temper would be blasphemy in the eyes of the Order as it once was. They were something new entirely and so was Anakin. His clairvoyance was beyond anything seen before. Records Luke had recovered from the remaining Jedi temples told of many Jedi experiencing dreams and visions from the force, like Luke, Ben, and herself, as well as Anakin's namesake had, but never with the frequency and detail that Anakin did. Rey could hardly imagine what he would be capable of once fully trained.
"I don't know when you'll be ready, sweetheart." She finally answered, "We'll have to wait and see."
That night as Anakin slept, a new vision wormed it's way into his dreams. This time he was ready for it. His meditation exercises with his father had fortified his mind and broadened his awareness. It was only a vision; whatever he witnessed couldn't hurt him. He just needed to let the force flow through him and reveal whatever it willed him to witness. A stone structure appeared before him. It was similar in style to the temple in which his family now lived as well as the Jedi temples that he had seen many times in his visions. It was late at night wherever this vision was taking place and he saw no clue to it's exact location. All he could see was a dense forest surrounding it. Anakin saw the figure of a man in a white Jedi robe walking towards the temple. Perhaps this was a vision of the past when Jedi protected the galaxy, Anakin thought. This man was carrying something. Anakin followed him to get a better look at his face to see if he recognized him from other visions. The man did not react to his presence, the visions never did; Anakin knew he is merely an observer. The man had red hair mingled with grey. His face was soft and kind, unremarkable except for a mechanical eye set into his left socket. This didn't alarm him; his father and uncle Luke both had mechanical limbs of their own. Anakin realized he had never seen this man before. Looking down, he saw the man is carrying a baby. Swaddled in a blanket, it's little face peeked out at him. It had bright blue eyes and the wisps of hair on it's head were a pale blonde, a stark contrast to it's dark skin. The baby stared up at the man holding it and began to cry, it's face scrunching together as it whimpered.
"Quiet child, this is your home now." The man commanded with a stern, monotone voice, "There is no emotion, there is peace."
Anakin's vision ended, the baby's cry ringing in his ears.
