Disclaimer: I own no Batman characters.
A/N: Okay, this was a really sper of the moment idea. I was in the bathroom brushing my hair and I was making up a story in my head. And out came a few snarky lines that I liked. And I was like 'Yessss!' And I ran to my iMac.
So here we are.
Enjoy, as always! :D
_______________
Jonathan Crane got caught for a number of charges on April 7th, and thrown back into Arkham on the 10th of April. Then convicted and sentenced on the 12th of April. Three years sentenced to Arkham Asylum.
Three. Three. Three! That was longer then his first stay, of only six months. Well, he broke out, so he guessed it didn't exactly count.... The first time, he did what any con would do when a bigger, badder, villain came to town. Turn himself back in. Well, okay, he could have joined the Joker in his little aggressive expansion. But... Really? Jonathan was a dust storm compared to the Joker, a tornado.
He stayed in Arkham through the Joker's little chaos rain, but then broke out when he heard Joker was coming in soon.
The first day back to Arkham was his stay at the maximum security level. But he got out of there quick, they obviously didn't see little Scarecrow as a threat. Pity, really. After maximum came high level, but, again, he was only in there for a few days.
Then he got to the 'normal' level. He had heard rumors that the Joker was on the normal level. Before getting Jonathan to his new cell(with room mate), they took him to the rec room, and it really was a reck room, if you catch my drift.
Jonathan's handcuffs were taken off, and the orderly pushed him towards the other patients, Jonathan was never... Sociable. So he huffed and went to the corner were the books were, it was ironic, really.
Not even ten years ago, he hand picked those books himself, he figured if he was going to own the Asylum, it should have some class.
Jonathan quickly found a choice favorite, The Mind and Soul, a Driving Force. He sat on the bench near the window and started reading, but was soon interrupted by a tap on the shoulder. He looked up, over his book, "Yes?"
He locked eyes, or should I say eye? With Harvey Dent, well, half of the once great district attorney. The blonde smiled. "Hello, Jonathan, isn't it?" He purred, Jonathan then noticed Harvey had a few others with him, his own little posse.
One girl with long red hair, green eyes, and curvy body. Standing next to her, was another girl, blonde hair a little skinnier, and she was obscenely popping a pice of gum. Next to her, was a man who looked like he could be the twin of the red headed girl. He had red hair, freckles, but was sickly skinny, with a scar on his neck... A question mark, Jonathan thought...
"Yes, I'm Jonathan. Jonathan Crane... Who's asking?" He asked a little quieter. Harvey smiled. "Well, I'm Harvey-"
"I'm Ivy." The red headed girl said, New York accent strong. He smiled at her, she smiled back. "Hey Johnny, I'm Harley. And this heres Edward, he doesn't talk much. But he's pretty cool." The blonde girl said, and gestured to the red headed boy.
The boy smiled and winked at Jonathan, Crane just smiled back, blushing in spite of himself. "Oh, Jonathan, where are my manners, I bet your wondering why we're bothering you. Well, we just wanted you to get in with the cool crowd around here. Thats us. We lay the land around here, and we wanted to protect you from the Joke-"
"Well, hello beautiful." A velvet voice interrupted Harvey, they all turned to see the devil himself. Standing there, in all his scarred glory, was the Joker. Harvey and his posse moved out of the Jokers way, they had forgot he had dibs on the pretty ones.
The Joker looked down at the pretty thing sitting on the bench. "Hi Joker!" Harley squealed, throwing herself at him. He grumbled a "Hi Harley..." and pushed her off, she landed in a heap on the floor, but smiled all the same.
"So, who's this pretty little thing? And why are you hiding behind that book? Let me see those trade mark baby blues." The Joker took the book and flung it behind him, it hit someone in the face.
"Ahh, just like I thought. Jonathan Crane. Scarecrow. Master of fear. You know, Johnny, fear and chaos go hand in hand. And I just found out, your my new cell mate. So, we really do go hand in hand, huh?" The Joker squeezed himself on the to-small-bench, fingering Jonathan's hair with his surprisingly clean finger nails.
"Fuck you." Jonathan said quietly. The Joker grabbed Jonathan's collar. "What was that Johnny? Want to try saying that with a little less... Snark?"
Jonathan looked the Joker in the eyes. "I said, fuck you." Jonathan's voice stayed level. The Joker smiled, and started to undo his pants. "Well, if you insist. But right out here in the rec room? Wow, didn't know you could be so kinky, baby." The Joker said, then he tried to shove his tongue in Jonathan's mouth.
Harvey was tired of standing by, he scrounged up what little hero he had left in him, and grabbed the Joker and threw him off Jonathan. The orderlies grabbed him and hauled him off to his(and Jonathan's) room.
Harvey looked at Jonathan. "Are you okay, Johnny?" He had concern in his eyes. "Yea. Yes, I'm fine, thank you. But, I think I've had enough Arkham antics for one day." Jonathan said, getting up and going to one of the orderlies. "Can you please take me back to my room?"
The girl smiled at him. "Sure, sweetheart." She handcuffed and walked him back to the padded room with two beds and one crazy clown. Who thankfully, was in a straight jacket, sitting on his bed, cross legged, looking at the floor.
"Wait until you hear the door, then you can get up." She said, as she put Jonathan in the room, face down on the floor. He listened for the click of the door, then got up. He quickly went over to his bed, crawling up into a ball, laying his head on his knees.
He could feel when the Joker finally looked up at him. Then he heard a shuffling of feet, accompanied by his own bed shifting weight. Then he felt a head on his shoulder. Jonathan didn't move, but said. "What are you doing?"
"Trying to be civil and apologize." The Joker said.
"Your touching me."
"So?" The Joker's real voice rumbled through him and Jonathan.
"I don't like to be touched." Jonathan felt the weight shift again, and the Joker was back on his own bed.
"Sorry." He murmured. Jonathan then looked up, the look on the Joker's face killed Jonathan. It was that of a sad puppy, a mangled, homeless, just-wanted-to-be-loved puppy.
"Sorry, I just have a thing about the touching... Your attempt at apologizing moves me." Jonathan's voice was a little snarly. The Joker sneered. "Sorry for trying, bitch." The Joker said, then turned to face his wall on his side of the cell.
Jonathan frowned. After a few minutes of a tension filled air, he got up and sat on the Jokers bed, and hesitantly poked him. "I'm sorry, I'm just not good at conveying emotions. See, most of my life I spent hiding a secr-"
"Oh, spare me the pity stories please. I've heard all of them. Trust me Johnny, anything you have to say, I've probably heard a thousand times over." The Joker's voice went back to the creepy tone that sent shivers down peoples spines.
"I doubt you ever heard my story." Jonathan whispered. The Joker turned his head to look at the blue eyed villain.
"Oh, no, let me guess. Your father was really abusive, wouldn't let you or your mom do anything. And one day, you just get sick of it, and you make up a little friend in your head named Scarecrow. And, before you know it, you're a... Split."
Jonathan chuckled. "No. And, what is a 'split'." He did air quotes with his fingers. The Joker smiled and looked back at the wall. "It's what us crazy's call you, actually. Well, people like you. The one's who's body inhabits two personas. Your friend, the district attorney, is almost a split. But there isn't something right about his spilt-ness..." The Joker looked at Crane, who was smiling away.
"Did you ever think about psychopharmacology as a profession?" Jonathan's voice was lusty and thick. "Umm, psychopharma-whowhatsthat?" The Joker's voice was a little shaky, the starry eyed look on Crane's face was a little bit scary. It reminded him of the look Harley gives him when they strip search the inmates.
"Its a person who psychoanalyses people, then finds a medicine for their particular illness. I was one before I got subdued to the asylum myself." Crane's voice was back to the quiet tone, his eyes not as round and buggy.
The Joker nodded. "Ohh... I'm still lost." He said. Jonathan chuckled again. Patting him on his shoulder. "It's not important... If you don't mind me saying, you look reallyhotwithoutyourmakeup." The last line of his sentence came out slurred and fast.
"What was that again?" The Joker looked at Jonathan. "I said, you look much more pleasant without your make up." Jonathan said, adjusting his glasses. The Joker cackled. "Why, Johnny Boy, me? What about you? You have to be the prettiest little thing in the Narrows. Very... Classy. " The Joker's last word was almost a full out moan.
"Thank you." Jonathan hesitantly gave the Joker a kiss on the cheek, what was left of his anyway. But, the Joker quickly moved his head, so their lips connected. And what Jonathan felt was something he had never felt before. Poor Jonathan hadn't been with many people in his life. Just a few un-happy relationships.
After a few minutes of heated, yet chaste, closed mouth kissing, Jonathan pulled back. "No fair, you cheated." He said, his voice breathy.
"Oh honey, did I ever say I played by the rules?"
________________
A/N: Well, I could end it there... Or I could start a little, tiny, miniscule, series...?