A Reason for Separation
The whole scene was a mess. Random articles of clothing, many of them, lay scattered around, as Vince had tried to save what was dearest to him as he realised what was going on. Howard was still struggling to comprehend the evening's events, Bollo was somewhat devastated, and Naboo was absolutely furious. I had been his name on the lease.
Starlight was sitting on the kerb wearing nothing but a waist-length poncho. Vince was huddling next to her wearing nothing at all.
Naboo screamed into the sky again, almost falling in futility.
"Naboo, why don't you try and… calm down, yeah," suggested Howard nervously, coming over to where the tiny embodiment of voodoo had been pacing.
"How can I fucking calm down?" screeched Naboo. He stormed a few paces away, tearing at his robes. "Fucking… look at that!"
The flat was still burning.
Naboo turned round to Vince, fixing him with a glare so cold that Vince forgot the height difference, strength difference, and the fact he was also a fairly good runner when the occasion called for it, and could only think of the various horrifying tortures Naboo may or may not be capable of inflicting on him.
"I've lost nearly everything," Naboo seethed.
Vince leaned back, ready to get up and bolt if he needed to, then remembered he was naked and twisted to the side and crossed his legs.
"I could only save what was really necessary," hissed Naboo. "So don't expect to be seeing any Miracle Wax for a long time."
Vince shuddered. The first of many painful tortures. Conventional products just didn't do him the justice he needed.
"Look," said Vince, his voice shaking more than even he expected. "I'm really sorry Naboo. It's just… well it's-"
"Don't you dare say anything about context," warned Naboo.
"It is though," reasoned Vince. "When you bring a hippy back with you, you've got to get the right atmosphere. You know; move everything to the floor so it feels more earthy and you've got a sort of makeshift, exotic thing going on, light some candles and incense…"
"Vince," said Naboo, glaring straight into Vince's eyes. "What part of candles, incense and nylon cushions didn't jump out at you enough?"
"I'm sorry; I forgot. It was going really well though. Didn't I get that atmosphere perfect?"
"It was quite romantic," Starlight admitted.
Naboo let out an enraged sigh. "Put some fucking clothes on," he snapped. "The last thing I wanna see right now is your pathetic attempts to hide that."
"It's all landed in stuff," said Vince sheepishly.
"I don't care," replied Naboo.
"Can't I just get a bit closer to the flat?"
Naboo glared at him again. "Yeah," he said. "Why don't you go back in?"
Vince grimaced. Naboo was rarely this infuriated. Especially not while sober.
Still trying to retain some modesty, Vince got up and retrieved a pair of trousers and a top that didn't have to much mud, ash or whatever else on them, and pulled them on reluctantly, facing a wall on the other side of the road.
"D'you wanna take something?" he asked Starlight, who was still trying to cover herself with the poncho.
"Yeah, thanks," replied Starlight, who helped herself to a slightly muddied pair of jeans and a silk tunic. Then she left.
"Wait!" called Vince. "I didn't get your number!"
"No!" Starlight called back. "And you won't!"
Vince fell back onto the kerb. "I'm never gonna see that top again, am I?" he lamented.
He realised Naboo was still glaring. He turned away and spoke to Howard instead.
"I don't know what you're gonna be doing now," he said, "but of it involves Vince, I'd appreciate it if you lived as far away as possible."