There was a knock on the door as Claire turned away from her father. She did not want to discuss the carnival any further, and she was grateful for the light tapping on the front door because it removed the spotlight that was shining down on her, even if only for a moment. He didn't understand, no one understood. Her parents could try to relate to her situation, and try to understand what she was feeling, but they would never be able to make any sense of her life- she couldn't even make sense of her life. She had no friends at college, no one to talk to. She was alone. Claire had come to dinner tonight to make her father happy, not because she was thankful for anything.

All she wanted to do was to be alone in her now-empty dorm room; to curl up in a ball under the covers and enter a state of nothingness. But no, she had come to an awkward Thanksgiving dinner with her parents and their dates. And to make matters worse, she had decided to drop the I'm-quitting-college bomb at precisely the wrong time, in the wrong way, causing Doug to faint (what a pansy) and further complicating her parents' lives. That's what she was good at though, ruining people's lives. She had sure chased away her best friend fast enough. Since Gretchen left Claire hadn't been able to make sense of anything. Gretchen had been the one person who she confided in, who she trusted and opened herself up to; the person who she could be herself around. It wasn't until she walked out of her life that Claire realized how much she needed her.

"I'm just, not like you." Even though she was supposedly immune to pain, the words Gretchen had said as she walked out the door cut through her like a knife, leaving behind aching scars. Her hopes of a normal life seemed to flutter out the window, and Gretchen's words replayed over and over again in her head like a broken record. She had been going through her days robotically, sinking into a numbness that overtook all other senses. Get up. Try to eat something. Go to class. Come back to her room and sleep. Go to class again. Stay in at night and stare at the door. Hope to see the handle move; for Gretchen to burst in, bringing back all of the comfort and placidity that she had taken with her.

"Sorry I'm Late."

Claire's insides did a flip. Her heart skipped a beat and she felt all of the color drain from her face. It was amazing how such a simple statement could make her feel the most alive she'd felt in weeks. But it wasn't the statement that jump-started her body, it was the voice behind the words. Surely she had heard wrong. It couldn't possibly be her. But she needed to look, to see for herself that what she heard had been wrong. She would make herself turn, even though she knew that the reality of her still-missing friend might kill her…

As she turned slowly towards the direction of the voice, her breath stuck in her throat. Meeting her gaze, with those gorgeous hazel eyes, was Gretchen. At first the shock of seeing her friend left her speechless, and she sort of stood frozen with a disbelieving half smile etched across her face.

Say something say something say something…

"Hi." Claire breathed out, trying to bring the moment back to some sort of normalcy. But as soon as she spoke she felt something inside of her splinter.

Claire felt a pain in her chest that she had never felt before. The emptiness and numbness vanished, an in its place the scars inflicted by Gretchen's parting words burned. By being so close to Gretchen now, Claire indeed felt alive, but she also felt the stinging, open wounds consume her. She realized for the first time that when Gretchen moved out she had not only left Claire feeling empty, she had broken her heart.

Gretchen's smile faltered as she saw Claire's crumpled expression and the evident torment in her eyes. She instinctively reached out to touch her, wanting to comfort the girl who had always been so strong. It killed Gretchen to see her like this, so small and vulnerable looking. But she jerked her hand back to her side. She knew she had no right to touch her with what she had done, and she wouldn't blame Claire for hating her- if she did.

Both girls looked away from each other, neither one able to look the other in the eye. They stood like this for a few moments until they heard a cough from behind them.

"Well, Gretchen, we were just about to have some dessert. Why don't you girls have a seat and I'll bring you some pie." Noah smiled at the pair and ushered them towards the kitchen table, which was now empty except for the turkey and stuffing remains that lay abandoned on the plates that had not yet been taken away.

As they sat down Claire took in everything about Gretchen; her clothes, her hair, her smell, everything that Claire had been missing for the past few weeks. Taking a deep breath she attempted to push her feelings of pain away to a place where Gretchen would not be able to see them.

"So, how have you been?" She asked, and was surprised to find that despite the efforts to hide the emotions her voice still betrayed her; it sounded nothing like her own, lifeless.

Gretchen brought herself to look at Claire, noting the dark, haunted tone that now shadowed the cheerful one that had once been there. She remembered being able to hear the smile in Claire's voice. Now there was no smile, there was nothing. How could she have done this to her? How could one stupid mistake cause so much hurt?

"Um, I've been okay…" She said quietly. "I've missed you though." She added, but regretted it immediately. Stupid, she thought. Claire had once again turned away from her, but not before Gretchen saw unshed tears making their way to the surface. You made it worse…awesome.

"That's good," she heard Claire mumble, trying to sound as though nothing was wrong, "I'm glad you've been okay." Claire raised her arm and impatiently wiped away a tear with her sleeve.

Great, Clair thought. I scared her away, and now I'm crying and making her feel bad about it. She sniffed and continued to look away from Gretchen; she didn't want her to see her like this.

Gretchen did not stop her hand this time as it cautiously made its way towards Claire. If Claire turned around, slapped her, and told her to get out, then that would be okay- she deserved it- but she couldn't just sit there and do nothing. She had to try to fix this; to be here for Claire now when she wasn't before.

"Claire?" She said as her hand gently came to rest on the small of her back. She felt Claire stiffen under her touch, and a fresh wave of guilt washed over her.

Claire felt a jolt go through her body as Gretchen touched her. She immediately became rigid against the contact, and the throbbing wounds intensified. Gretchen was leaning towards her, trying to look into her eyes, but Claire turned her head farther away.

"Claire," Gretchen choked out, "Claire will you please look at me?" A fresh tear was now trickling down her own face. Seeing that Claire would not budge, Gretchen moved from her chair to kneel on the ground in front of her. She took both of Claire's hands in her own and gave them a comforting squeeze.

Claire looked down at their intertwined hands. Even though she knew that she would regret it later, she allowed the smallest morsel of hope to enter her soul. She knew that when it came time for Gretchen to leave again this strand of hope would burn even more painfully than the already-present lacerations in her heart. Ashamed of herself, Claire let the tears cascade silently down her cheeks and let them fall into her lap. Claire felt Gretchen released one of her hands. She then felt Gretchen's fingertips gingerly push the bottom of her chin upward, compelling Claire to look into her eyes. Is she crying too?

"Claire, listen to me, I am so sor-"

"Okay we have pumpkin or apple, which one would you ladies prefer?"

Claire and Gretchen leapt apart from each other as though they had been branded with hot pokers. Gretchen, blushing madly, pretended to be greatly interested in a bird sitting on a tree outside, and she did not remove her eyes from the window. Claire, however, remained where she was, the same sad look on her face, although she had wiped away her tears in an attempt to compose herself. She looked at the floor, the walls, anywhere but at Noah who was now highly embarrassed by having interrupted what was clearly a sensitive situation.

"Sorry," he said, sounding confused. "I didn't mean to barge in. You okay Claire Bear?" He added with an apprehensive look at his daughter.

"Yea. Fine." She answered him, forcing a watery smile.

"Well, okay. I'll just leave these here for you girls then." Giving an uneasy smile to Gretchen and his daughter he put the pies on the table and left the room. Now, everything was quiet.

Gretchen turned once again to face Claire, who was glancing up at her from where she sat. She looked broken. Determined to make things right, Gretchen smiled warmly as she extended a hand down to her friend.

"Come on," she said, "take a walk with me; it's a little crowded in here."

Even though the room was the farthest thing from crowded, Claire took Gretchen's outstretched hand. The now-familiar sensation of the blazing gashes once again flared, but there was also warmth that emulated from Gretchen's hand that was a comfort through the agony. The feeling was bittersweet. If she was going to lose her again, Claire wanted to spend as much time with her as possible while she could, even if it would make things harder in the end. You're going to get hurt again, worse this time, one side of her was saying. But the other side of her didn't care; Gretchen was here now, and even though seeing her was painful it was worth it. Claire would worry about everything else later.

The two girls made their way through the apartment and out the door, closing it silently behind them. They had a lot to talk about, but for right now there was no need for conversation; they were both just enjoying being together again.