This springboards off of "Love/Addiction," because I loved the concept of the episode. Deals with O'Callie, Gizzie, Maddison, and MerDer, and focuses on different aspects of addiction: denial, quitting, withdrawal, and giving in.

Addiction

I.

She can't hear it. Not tonight, not while her career falls to pieces around her and Stevens tries pathetically to salvage herself in her O.R. She pleads with him, begs him not to say a word because her marriage is the only thing holding her together and she's not sure what she'll do if that dissolves as well.

So she lies next to him as they both feign sleep and she convinces herself that she doesn't have a problem, that she doesn't need help, but soon this will destroy her and she knows it. It just can't destroy her tonight.

II.

There is no 'us.' They are not in this together and she is not a part of this. She is not a part of this except that she is the key in all of this – the reason and the means and the end. But she's not the one who's married, she's not the adulterer, and so there is no 'us.'

He can't keep getting close to her in doorways and kissing her in elevators, because there's no 'us,' and there is one if he's touching her. So he tells her to back away, to give him time and space and she does it. She does it and it kills him that she's disappeared. But she has to, because he has to do this alone.

III.

The withdrawals are more difficult than he realized they would be. It's not the sex he misses – Seattle Grace has no shortage of lustful nurses and OB/GYNs – it's her. He's used to hearing her yell at the interns and himself and he's used to having to prove himself. Except that he hasn't got anything to prove now, because she's off proving herself in Los Angeles, where it's sunny and warm and so, so dry.

He's got half a mind to follow her, but he's already crossed a continent. He moved from New York to Seattle only to lose her again, so he'll wait this out. He'll clench his fists and grind his teeth and somehow he'll make it through without her. He'll make it through this because he has to.

IV.

He tries to tell himself that it's the way she smells like lavender when he's near enough to her, and the way she looks so good in blue scrubs. And he's almost convinced himself that she'll change soon, because she's had a hell of a year. That she's only this way because she fell in love with a man who left her for his wife and then went back to her, and because she lost her parents and her stepmother and got a sister she didn't ask for or want and she nearly drowned. Almost. He tells Mark that it's because of Burke and Yang, and that he can convince her, but since when does he tell Mark the truth?

Because he knows. She's broken, and he's not glue. But he's left her before. Now it's her turn to walk away, her turn to do some breaking. And when she's done, she'll come back and he'll be able to smell the lavender again because he can't walk away anymore. Because his hat is in. His hat is in and he won't take it back.