This idea has been lingering in my mind for awhile now and I finally had the chance to write it. It will be a two-shot story

Hope you all enjoy.

Regret of a Lifetime Part 1

When Jane told Maura that Casey had proposed to her, she was left confused about her feelings for her best friend. She loved Jane. Jane is her best friend and she wants nothing but for Jane to be happy. Casey made Jane happy. Even if she didn't like the way Casey was treating Jane, she kept her opinions to herself and decided that if Jane needed her opinion, she will give it to her.

She was also confused because she was feeling something that she knew she should not have been feeling. She had never had deep romantic feelings for a woman before so when she realized her feelings for Jane, it scared her. She wasn't quite sure what to do about it.

But when Jane told her she decided to take a leap of fate. She was so sure that even if Jane did not feel the same, nothing will change between them. She didn't expect anything from Jane. She will be happy with just her friendship and they can just forget and laugh about it years later.

So she invited Jane over for dinner.

After dinner, Jane and Maura sat down in front of the television.

Jane noticed Maura fidgeting.

"Maura, come on. What's going on with you? Why are you fidgeting?"

"Jane. Well, I just wanted to tell you. First of all I want to say that I don't expect you to feel the same way. I am just confused. I don't quite know how to say this."

"Maura, just come out and say it!"

"Jane, I think I have feelings for you."

"What?"

"There I said it."

"I know what you said but I am not sure if I heard you right. Did you say you have feelings for me? As in romantic feelings?"

"Yes. I know Jane. I am so confused myself. I mean, I've never…"

"Why are you doing this Maura? Did you think your declaration will change things between Casey and I? I am marrying him."

"Jane, no, I just wanted to tell you how I feel. I don't expect you to reciprocate. I am sorry if I upset you. I really am sorry."

"Look, you have just really pissed me off, Maura. I am going home. And don't you dare ever bring this up again."

"Jane. Please, I am sorry."

Jane walked out of Maura's house slamming the door. Maura stared at the door and fell to the floor crying.

The next three months, the only thing Jane and Maura talked about were the cases they were working on. Jane refused to talk to her about anything personal. Maura tried everything to get Jane to talk to her but Jane would have none of it.

When Maura received a letter from University of Sydney offering her a job to teach, she was excited. In the letter, it mentioned Ian's name as the one who recommended her for the position. After getting the letter, she called Ian and she found out that Ian had moved back to Australia and is teaching at the university.

Besides teaching, Maura will also be able to attend classes there and work on another degree.

She decided to accept the offer and turned in her resignation.

She spoke to Angela and told her about the offer that she accepted. She told Angela the whole situation with Jane. Angela understood and didn't judge her. Angela told Maura that all she wants is for her to be happy and that she will always be a daughter to her. She assured Angela that there was no need to move out. The house is paid off and that property taxes are paid through her account. She can stay as long as she wanted to.

Maura then spoke to Hope and Cailin. She was not expecting Hope and Cailin to join her in Australia. Cailin was in her pre-med while Hope has MEND. But Cailin said she can transfer her credits there and Hope said she can work in MEND at the Sydney office.

She then called her parents to inform them that she will be moving to Sydney and told them enthusiastically about the offer to teach. Her parents were ecstatic and told her that they will visit her as soon as she was settled.

After talking to the Mayor of Boston, and then to Cavanaugh, she sent an email to the University of Sydney accepting their offer. The University offered a house for her to stay until she finds a place of her own. She agreed to live in the house until she, Cailin and Hope could find a place to stay.

A week before she was to leave, while she was alone in her house, she heard the door bell. It was Jane on the other side of the door. She had been trying to ask Jane to meet so they could talk but Jane always turned her down until she finally gave up.

She opened the door to find a very angry Jane.

"So when the hell were you going to tell me, Maura?"

"Jane, come in."

"Are you leaving because I turned you down?"

"I never asked you Jane. So there was no reason to turn me down. And to answer your other question, I have been trying these past three weeks to talk to you but you didn't want to talk to me. I wanted to be the one to tell you but you told me "We have nothing to talk about."

"So when do you leave?"

"Next week. The department is throwing me a farewell party, I would love it if you could be there."

"I don't think I can make it. Casey is here next week."

"Oh okay. I guess I will see you at work then, Jane."

So why Sydney?"

"I got an offer to teach. Ian, he recommended me."

"Ian? As in Ian Faulkner, the International fugitive?"

"Yes, that Ian. Apparently, he is not wanted anymore. He's teaching in Sydney."

"But for how long until he leaves you again, Maura?"

"I don't know Jane. Let me worry about that."

"So are you two back together?"

"Jane I don't think that is any of your business. You decided that we were no longer friends three months ago Jane. I told you, all I wanted was to tell you how I felt and I didn't expect anything in return."

"So I guess we have nothing left to talk about then?"

"I guess not. I thought you should know, Hope and Cailin are also coming with me."

"I hope you are happy then with Ian and with Hope and Cailin."

"Goodbye, Jane."

"Goodbye, Maura."

A week later…

The whole homicide department as well as the DA's and other people who have worked with Maura attended her farewell party except for Jane.

Angela tried to convince her to come to the party, but Jane was stubborn and did not want to listen. She told Angela that she was done with Maura and that it was Maura who was leaving her. Korsak and Frost also tried talking to her into changing her mind but she refused to budge. Maura even sent a text and told her to bring Casey but she ignored her text.

The very next day, Jane realized what she had done and drove straight to Maura's house hoping to talk to her. She never did ask Maura when exactly she was leaving.

Jane kept ringing the door bell and knocked. She yelled out Maura's name but nobody ever came to the door.

"Jane, why are you yelling?"

"I've been ringing the doorbell and knocking for like 20 minutes but Maura wouldn't open the door."

"Jane, Maura left early this morning. She's gone, Jane."

"What? Why didn't I know?"

"Because you never cared to ask. She asked you to come to her farewell party, she begged you but you blew her off and instead, went away with Casey."

"So you're on her side, Ma? I'm your daughter, Ma not Maura. You are supposed to be on my side."

"Honey, I am always on your side."

"Did you know why I stopped talking to her? She…"

"She told me Jane. She only told you her feelings. She did not ask you to return her feelings. She was confused. It was hard for her to say her feelings but all she wanted was your friendship because she knew that you don't feel the same way. She knows how much you love Casey. She is really happy for you."

"But how can…"

"You know Janie, I have always been proud of you. There was never a time that I wasn't proud of you. But what you did with Maura, how you handled things and especially, last night when you did not show up, I was very disappointed. She waited for you, you know. She didn't sleep. She was so sure you would show up because the Jane she knew and her best friend would never let her leave without saying "goodbye." She believed that you would be happy for her as she was happy for you. She left you this."

Angela handed her a white envelope.

Inside was a letter.

Dear Jane,

I wasn't sure if I would still be invited to your wedding after these past three months. We have not talked and I deeply regret ever telling you how I felt. You're my best friend and I miss you so much. But we both have to move on. I wish you all the happiness in the world with Casey. He is a good man. I hope you wish me the same happiness too. I am nervous about this new endeavor but I am also very excited.

I hope someday, you can find it in your heart to forgive me.

I love you, Jane. You will always be my best friend.

Maura.

Inside were two plane tickets and 1 week hotel accommodation in Paris and 1 week accommodation in Tuscany.

Dear Jane and Casey,

Congratulations on your marriage.

Wishing you all the best.

Maura

Jane fell to her knees after reading the letter.

She had never felt so alone in her whole life. Her best friend is gone and it was all her fault.

, .