There's not nearly enough Klema here. So I'm going to attempt one, try to stay in character and everything, so please read and review! Tell me if I've made any horrible horrible mistakes and the like too!
Hopefully this fic won't make your eyes bleed? D:
Disclaimer: I definitely don't own any of the fantabulous Phoenix Wright universe, but I do own the idea.
"Xander Shiyf, age 36. Accused of the kidnapping and eventual death of 5 patrons at the Gatewater Hotel." Ema rattled off the rest of the case file, showing little interest and keeping her focus downwards. The last thing she wanted was the backhanded comments of her foppish boss while she was trying to do her job.
"In a nutshell, Ms. Skye?" Klavier seemed just as uninterested as her, plucking a few strings on his guitar in between paragraphs. The last few weeks had been remarkably uninteresting.
"He stopped the elevator, kept the patrons captive, and then snapped the guide wire. 3 died while rescuers were reaching the box, and the others died in the hospital from various injuries."
The prosecutor's usual taunting glances morphed into a more confused look. "Fräulein, how is it that no one died on impact? Surely the speed and impact of a runaway elevator would just shatter bones."
Ema blinked. She hadn't even thought the fop was capable of paying attention to a case briefing. But he had actually managed to make a valid argument, though somehow managing to keep his air of glimmer. Ugh, that was aggrivating. "Roped elevator systems, usually known as the kind with cables, usually contain safety brake systems. If the box reaches a certain speed, the brakes kick in and slow it down considerably. Unfortunately for the victims, Mr. Shiyf was able to determine when he could break the cable and still have the box fall below the speed mark…"
The more she thought about this case, the more it churned her stomach. It seemed like an agonizing amount of work, but this twisted man had crunched the numbers and killed five people. All of the meticulous details bit at her, her skin prickling and a small choking fear set in. No wonder Edgeworth refused to take them.
She flipped through other forms and paperwork, finally coming across what she wanted. "We found the suspect's tools and fingerprints all over the cables and machinery. There were numerous candid pictures and complex equations found in the defendent's room. One of the victims was believed to have had…er, 'intimate' relations with the defendant…" Ema's face flashed a familiar shade of scarlet, and the case report suddenly became her shield.
The prosecutor's head finally straightened out, his hand sweeping through his bangs as he sighed. "Sounds torturous, ja?" Klavier set down the guitar and sauntered over to the detective, who spent her time gagging at the thought.
His mouth came dangerously close to her ear, "The death, not the sex." He chuckled and waited for her to lower her snackoo'ing arm before continuing.
"Thank you, fräulein. I believe we have an 'easy win', yes? The evidence seems to point in one direction..." He casually placed his arm around Ema's shoulders and was quickly plonked in the head with a rather hard snack.
Damn, what were those made of? Plaster?
"Get your hands off, Gavin, before I file a sexual harassment suit." Her icy stare bore into the fop's 'misplaced' arm.
He obliged her, but only in the most literal sense. His hand hovered over her, the arm still laced around Ema."There will be no need for that. Although most woman would be flattered—"
Plonk
"Now shush, before I have to go buy more Snackoos." Ema glared at the blonde, chomping for a few more minutes to drown out his comments. "Can we get going, please?"
"I thought you didn't want me to speak?" Klavier chuckled as Ema's temper flared. "Nein, nein, we may." He kept his glimmorous grin plastered on his face as he escorted the detective to the elevator, much to his partner's chagrin.
"You really wanna use this? Did you not hear the report at all?" Ema scowled, her superior was already pressing the button and looking foppish as ever. Hell, maybe even double the fop. Ick.
Klavier hooked his thumb into his pocket, brushing off the girl's obvious displeasure. "Now detective, why so scared?" He smiled, tugging on Ema's coat like an attention-seeking child until she finally entered the confined space.
Great, just what she wanted - an awkward ride with her rock god boss and his foppity fop rock god attitude. And the nagging risk of falling to their death, but that was only slightly worse. At least if they were dead she wouldn't have to listen to this horrendous muzak rendition of 'Guilty Love'. Klavier was having a hard time resisting an air guitar solo, she could sense it.
"Enjoying yourself, fräulein?" He smirked. While lost in her reveries, Ema's gaze had frozen on Klavier's face. Her expression was less than lustful, or even pleasant or tolerant, but he couldn't keep from taunting her. He really was as irresistible as he had always known himself to be.
"Well detective, I can't say I blame you. If I was in such close quarters with someone as remarkably beautiful as myself, I'm sure I would stare too. Don't be too embarrassed." Klavier winked at her, and was a bit surprised at her reaction.
Ema crinkled her nose, sharply turning her face away and instead focusing her attentions on the psychedelic patterns that adorned the space's walls. Her companion had been sure that she would pelt him to death with those horrid snacks or slap him, or at least something. The lack of a furious fräulein left the prosecutor bored again.
Guilty Love came and went, being replaced by another ear-assaulting Gavinner remix. Klavier succumbed to his temptation, pretending to stroke and strum his invisible guitar in a stylish manner.
And right as Ema was finally getting used to that tune, it dwindled off and another began…Wait, this would be the third song, and the Gavinners were notorious for their drawn out music. The prosecutor's offices were hardly tall enough to even warrant an elevator, so why was it taking so damn long to get to the lobby?
…Shit.