She kissed him.
Last night, she kissed him and it was everything he both feared and believed it would be – And now he is completely and utterly screwed. Her lips, my God… he doesn't dare recall how they felt; pressed timidly at first, but then determined, searching and ardent as soon as she felt the shift in him- when he let the last shred of his guard down and granting her full access. That one kiss has forced him to admit to himself something he has spent the last few months trying his best to deny- His ever-increasing attraction to her, but even more than that, his fierce desire and love for her too. He wants her, for that much is certain, and for that very same reason he finds himself packing a suitcase and booking the first available flight to Vermont. He's tried and failed to convince her, as well as himself, that whatever this is between them- is wrong; forbidden, especially in her parent's eyes. But her pursuit is relentless and his ability to resist her is unravelling fast. The only way he can prevent this from going any further, is to put as much distance between them as possible. So instead, he will reside at his log cabin, tucked away in the remote woods of Vermont. And once settled, he will approach the neighbouring hospitals, find himself a new job and then promptly bury all his feelings and thoughts for Olivia under the guise of work.
Earlier on, at the end of his shift, he tracked Eli down in his office. He had to break the news to him that he was moving to Vermont in person. But knowing his friend (of nearly 30 odd years), he suspects that he's going to see straight through this ruse of him needing some time away to "rediscover" himself- and that he, Eli, would probably attempt to prise out the real reason for his all so sudden departure. Which to be frank, he is ill prepared for... God forbid Eli ever found out the truth. For Eli would never forgive him, because falling for his best friend's daughter, his 21-year-old daughter at that, would surely tear their friendship and worlds apart.
"Aaaah Fitz, what's up, earlier on in surgery you said you wanted to speak with me…?"
He clears his throat. "Yes, well, I don't really know how to say this, but I've just handed my notice in to Sally this evening, starting with immediate affect and…" Eli immediately cuts him off, not even giving him the chance to finish…
"Hold up- I'm sorry, come again, what on earth do you mean that you've handed in your notice- where the hell has this come from?"
Fitz grimaces, wracked with tremendous guilt, this web of lies was not going to be an easy one to spin… "I just need to get away Eli, lately I have been feeling stagnant and uninspired with my work, and I feel that maybe spending some time in Vermont, to regroup and possibly try and reconnect with Karen, would probably do us both a world of good."
"Well, of course, but surely you'd ask for extended leave instead, however you've gone and handed in your resignation, so when you say time Fitz, what sort of time are we actually talking about?"
"A year or two, maybe longer…?" To his own ears he sounds as if he's clutching at straws, uncertain, not really knowing the real answer himself.
Eli looks at him sceptically, as if trying to figure him out. "That's a fair bit of time to be gone, my friend… For example, what about your house here, in DC, that's a long time to keep it empty; do you plan on selling it?"
He shakes his head vehemently, that house held too many memories… "No, I don't wish to sell up and leave forever… and even if I've gone for a while, it's not as if I will struggle to maintain its upkeep and bills, after all, I've got all that money left from my father's estate to keep me afloat for a while, so…"
"True, indeed you do, but still, I cannot fathom as to why you're choosing to do this now and so seemingly out of the blue… Tell me, is there something you're neglecting to say?"
Feeling backed into a corner somewhat, Fitz retorts agitatedly… "Eli, I'm not being funny, but you of all people should understand the importance of reconnecting with your child. Therefore, I think re-connecting with Karen should be reason enough for me to leave, don't you?"
"Of course, but I'm just saying that something feels a little amiss about this move… I mean, should I be concerned - you're not sick, are you?"
And cue Liv.
As if this moment with Eli wasn't tricky enough to contend with, both of them are now interrupted by Olivia, walking straight into Eli's office and straight into their conversation…
She looks from her father and then back to Fitz again… "Sick! Are you okay Fitz?" She queries, with mounting concern, having only heard the tail end of their exchange.
"No, I'm not sick…" Fitz assures her.
"But he is leaving us and moving to Vermont." Eli adds.
"What! When?"
The last thing he wanted was for her to find out like this; he had planned to go around to her flat later this evening and tell her face to face; tell her why he believes going to Vermont is the right thing to do, and therefore he's riddled with regret for not dealing with this more sensitively... If anything, she should have been the first to know.
He can barely look her in the eyes, which she doesn't fail to notice either, as finally the penny drops and she realises what is actually taking place here... He is leaving Washington DC because of her.
And she's livid.
"I have a flight booked for tomorrow, to Vermont," he confesses, wishing he could reach out to her, to pull her aside and fully explain his decision to leave and then offer her some level of comfort, do anything to remove the hurt and betrayal weighing in the depths of her eyes. He can tell she's exercising a great deal of restraint, trying not to give the game away to her father, by revealing just how much this news is affecting her… "I see, well, I hope you have a safe flight… I... I shall be sad to see you go Fitz…"
"I agree, as will I... " Eli chips in, totally oblivious to the tension building between his only daughter and best friend. "I tell you what, as soon as you get yourself settled, I'll speak to Maya and we can arrange to take some time off work, and come and visit… Liv, you could come along too if you like, we could make it a family trip… Stop off in New York for a few days too maybe, see the sites, do some shopping…"
In acquiesce, Fitz gives him a strained smile… "Yes, that would be lovely", he somehow manages to force out.
Whereas Olivia can't bear to stay in this room for a second longer, she needs to get out of here and fast… "Right, well I better go… Quinn's cooking dinner and I don't want to keep her waiting…" Eli leans over and gives her a hug, "Goodnight sweetpea"
"Night Dad…" Slowly, reluctantly, she pulls out of her father's embrace and turns to face Fitz. With her back to her father, she successfully shields him from the heart broken expression on her face, as she now looks at Fitz, dead in the eye.
He swallows hard, the vision of her barely keeping her emotions in check is crippling him.
But before she falls apart, she places her hand on his shoulders, and gives him a gentle kiss on the cheek, to which she then whispers a rather solemn… "Goodbye."