Chapter -01

Hello!~ This is my first fanfic so I hope you enjoy!

Sadly, I do not own Hetalia

This is based off of the manuals by LolliDictator (which if you haven't read you really should)

I had just finished frying some of my favorite pancakes(called Oladi) when there was a knock at the door. I glanced at my sister, who sent me a confused look also. The question was Who could be at our door? It's 7:30 a.m...

Well, we didn't get any visitors save for our brother on holidays, the mailman , and the occasional traveler. It wasn't our brother-he was coming in a few months, or the mailman- he just came 35 minutes ago. So being the person that I was, I automatically assumed it was a killer or burglar or bank robber or outlaw of some kind. By the time we got to the door, I was almost shaking with nerves. My sister carried a bat we kept in the coat closet(for these situations), I got there first and swung open the door to a guy in a mint green suit.

I blinked and sighed in relief. He's not the average scary looking criminal at least...

He looked at me strangely " Not the usual reaction I get..."

"Y-yes?" I was honestly expect a serial killer or something..

"Is this the residence of Analise and Audrey Bayer?"

My sister looked at a huge box behind him" Yeah, that's us." she mumbled

"Then if you would please sign." He handed me a signing thingie.

I signed and he wheeled the box, with chains, into the livingroom.

On his way out he handed my a booklet. He turned and looked at me in almost pity and said "Good luck."after that he left.

"Oookaay, what is this?"

my sister sighed

"Maybe we can find out by that book thing he gave you."

I looked at the cover it read in bold letters,

Ivan Braginski : User Guide and Manual:

Congratulations! You have just purchased your very own IVAN BRAGINSKI unit. This manual was written in order to allow you, the owner, to unlock your unit's full potentials, and it is advised that you read this before trying anything. Mistreatment of the IVAN BRAGINSKI unit can (and, in most cases, will)

prove extremely lethal.

"Hm...Ivan Braginski?" I murmured. My sister gasped as she read over my shoulder.

"Ivan Braginski?" "You gotta be kidding me! We are so dead...good by life I will miss you.."

I just looked at her skeptically as she sat in a corner grumbling to herself.

"Well it can't be that bad now,"I patted her head as I went to get a crowbar and a lockpick. I handed her the lockpick and watched as she slowly picked the lock for the chains.

I read through the manual until something caught my eye

Removal of your IVAN BRAGINSKI unit from packaging:

This may prove to be an extremely difficult task if your IVAN BRAGINSKI unit is moved incorrectly, or awakened in the wrong manner. For your safety, we have provided a list of safe ways in which to wake your unit:

1. Stand next to the box and yell, "Brother!" at the top of your lungs. You will hear sobbing from the box, and you can now unlock and unchain it and open it to let a frightened IVAN BRAGINSKI out. He will react warmly once he realizes that you are not a NATALIYA ARLOVSKAYA unit.

2. Undo the chains on the box and stand very far away, preferable at a distance from which you have to use a microphone in order to shout, "The American Armstrong walked on the moon!" You can also yell, "I'm AWESOME!" Both actions will make your IVAN BRAGINSKI unit hostile, though the second phrase might make your unit a bit horny; consequently, he may go off in search of a GILBERT BEILSCHMIDT unit before you can reprogram him.

3. Cook Chinese food, preferably a food with a strong odor, and leave a plate of it next to the box before standing far away. Be warned, the lid may fly off and hit you if you are too close. This will make your IVAN BRAGINSKI unit leave in search of a YAO WANG unit unless you reprogram him quickly enough.

4. Play the Lithuanian, Estonian, or Latvian national anthems and stand far away, preferably behind a barrier of some sort. This will make your unit violent and he will go to find a TORIS LORINAITIS unit unless you reprogram him quickly enough.

5. If you think you can manage, then just open the lid of the box and reprogram him directly. Be warned, because the IVAN BRAGINSKI unit is notorious for waking up in the middle of reprogramming, and if he does he will immediately turn hostile.

Horny?Hostile?

I glanced at the box warily, Why would someone send us something so dangerous and life threatening? "Well it seems our friend here isn't quite the early riser.."

Ana snorted " No shit sherlock, what could have possibly given you that idea?"

"Oooh your sarcasm is killing me" I glared at her lightly.

"Well we could try cooking Chinese food?..." she suggested. I scoffed

"Yeah cuz' I wanna get knocked out by a box in the morning..."

"Then how about number 1?"

"I guess so..." she looked at me and grinned slightly"Since only one of us can speak Russian, you can do the honors!~"

"Fine,fine I'll sacrifice myself to the hostile thing in the box while you hide in safety...thanks soo much for worrying!"

"Thanks Audrey!" She pushed me up to the box and darted behind the nearest wall. I just rolled my green eyes at her.

I took a deep breath and channeled my inner Belarus"брат!брат,waaake up noow!"Geez, my voice scared myself a little...

I waited for a reaction of some kind...and waited.. and waited..

Finally after a good 6 minutes I got bored and picked up the crowbar.

Ana scrambled from the wall "Wait! Are you sure you want to suffer an early death, and leave me here with a scary maniac?"

"Stop over exaggerating." truthfully I doubted my sanity at this point..Was I so bored to open a box with a hostile Russian inside?

Yes...yes, I was that bored.

Whew! I lived! I know it's kinda short and I'll try to get the next one up soon and make it longer~

Tell what you think about it please!Constructive criticism is welcomed.

Please review and tell me what you think ! ~