Before I Sleep
Summary: He knows that Kate will die first. Countdown tag, Caskett. Oneshot.
Rating: K+.
Disclaimer: Castle, its people and its awesomeness all belong to the gods in the marble halls, so to speak. Not me.
He knows that Kate will die first. She's so slender, and her coat is so thin, and as strong and vibrant as she is, he's so much taller and heavier. He'll outlast her.
In a terrible way, he's glad. At least she won't have to be alone. He's failed her every other way. At least he can be with her now.
He holds her as close as he can, but he can feel her shivering against him. The cold is no longer cold. It's just pain. It hurts, even though he can barely feel anything. He focuses on her. Watching her, hearing her, feeling her, touching her. He'll have too much time to think about himself when she's gone.
She stops shivering and he knows she's slipping away. "Castle – " her words have dwindled to short phrases, and finally, mostly single words. She's trying to say something now. He wants her to be quiet. She needs the energy for herself. She shouldn't waste it trying to comfort him.
He keeps her tightly against him. She shouldn't touch the wall. It'll make her colder. He keeps his arm between her and the metal. It hurts even more but she needs the help. She needs him.
He would tell her how much he loves her, but he can't move his lips anymore. And she knows. He knows she knows. He doesn't know how. He just does.
She deserves better than this.
He's crying. She can tell. He needs to stop. The tears will freeze in his eyes.
The edges of her vision have long since gone black and she can't really see anything now. She reaches for his face. He's such a good man. She can't remember why, but she knows more people need him than need her.
Castle, no one will ever know, but I love you.
When her hand falls and her lips stop mid-sentence, his heart drops into his stomach. He knew she was going to die first. He hadn't realized that he'd have to watch.
She can't remember his name, can't see his face. She just knows the man dying with her is a man full of love.
And everything's okay as it goes completely black.
His eyes are closing, and his brain is sluggish, and the only thing he knows is there's a woman in his arms. And he loves her. And since she's going, he'll stay with her.
Everything is stopping. He's feeling fainter. He tries to pull her tighter, but his body has stopped moving.
He can almost feel her hair against his cheek. His eyes are going grey. He wouldn't leave her. He'll stay with her.
The last thing he thinks before it all goes away is Always.
END
Author's Note: I looked up an article of what happens when you freeze to death, and it said that when your body gets cold enough, you get amnesia to the point where you wouldn't recognize a face. I don't think Castle and Beckett got quite that far, but I thought maybe it started to slow down their brains. Hope you enjoyed.