Dying Embers

I had always been in love with Alan McClennan. Since the very first day I moved to the Valley. I was just six and he was nine. He was walking with many other boys that looked somewhat around his age. They would always be walking someplace with all their baseball gear. That's what they did everyday basically. I would sit in my front room and watch as they passed by every day, wishing I could be with all of them and have fun with all of them. And when I saw Alan, let me tell you, it was just like magic. I couldn't stop gazing at him and knew I had to do something.

I was nearly eight when I decided to go over and casually run into them as they were strolling to their hang-out spot one summer morning. They were all laughing and joking.

"Hi," I said confidently, even though I was unsure of how they would react. "I'm Penny Winters." They all stared at me for a moment before one of them spoke up.

"Hey Penny, I'm Ham." A large one stated and placed an arm around my shoulders. He smiled sweetly at me. He then began introducing me to all of the boys. And finally, there was Alan. Or Yeah-Yeah as Ham put it.

"Where do you guys go every day?" I blurt out.

"We go to the Sandlot." Kenny stated simply.

"Yeah, yeah. We go there and play baseball." Yeah-Yeah explained.

"Oh, well, I was wondering if I…if I could come and just watched you guys play a game or two." I asked gently. They all looked at one another and shrugged.

"Sure, we could use a cheerleader or two," Benny smiled. I grinned brightly and soon we were all on our way to the Sandlot. Little did I know that such a small act of kindness from Benny would let a beautiful friendship blossom between us all.

Now that we've all matured and entered high school, many things had changed. I was fourteen and that made Yeah-Yeah seventeen. It was odd, how they still wanted to hang around with a small girl. Maybe they all felt the need to protect me, as if I was their little sister. At school, all the boys my age and maybe a few older were calling me names like "sexy" and "tasty". It was irritating because I didn't want any of them. I wanted Yeah-Yeah. One day, after another guy tried to pick me up, I went to Benny and Squints. We all walked home from school together when I brought it up.

"Guys, why are guys like, always trying to pick me up? I mean, I know they may think I'm pretty and shit, but there are other girls too." I stated. They both stared at me. Then Benny spoke, "Penny, you're so pretty. Your green eyes and light brown hair, shit, they could make any guy melt."

"Shit yeah. Penny, you're almost as beautiful as Wendy Peffercorn…" Squints declared. Now that was a compliment coming from Michael Palledorous. I smiled and had one thing on my mind: did Yeah-Yeah think the same thing?

I decided to put my question to the test one evening. It was a late summer's night and they were just wrapping up a long game of baseball. By now, I had told Benny that I liked Alan; he was the only one I could really trust. Benny knew of my plan and decided to take everyone out for ice cream, leaving me to tell Alan what I needed to.

"Yeah-Yeah," I called out, pulling him from the rest of them.

"Yeah?" He asked. It was pretty dark out and I couldn't entirely make out his face but I knew it was that same beautiful face as always. "Penny? What's wrong?"

"I, just, I wanted to ask you something,"

"I'm listening," I swallowed dryly. It was now or never. Just spit it out. "Penny, tell me."

"I was going to ask you if you thought, well if you thought I was pretty or not. Because if you don't, I mean, that's totally fine too. I just," I shrugged. "I wanted to know," He was silent but had a small grin on his face.

"Penny, you're pretty fucking stunning to me," He said. "Why'd you wanna know if I thought you were pretty?" I swallowed again. Shit, I had to just do this. Just tell him, right now.

"Yeah-Yeah, I like you. A lot actually…" I whispered. I couldn't look at his face; I was never good with eye contact. He was silent. "Please, say something,"

"Well, Penny, I-I don't know what to say…" He admitted. I felt my heart drumming against my ribs. "Penny, you're so pretty and beautiful but I don't think, something between us would ever work…" There it was. The Truth. The blinding truth. I plastered a fake smile on my face and said, "Yeah, I knew it wasn't going to work too," He looked at me with an odd face and then tried to give me a hug. But I pushed him away.

"I gotta go home," I lied, and began walking. I didn't hear footsteps behind me and I knew he wasn't going to change his mind about us.

Crash! Someone was outside my house. I knew it. I had been hearing these noises for over twenty minutes. Panic washed over me. What if it was some creepy rapist who had been watching me as I changed? Or some ax murderer waiting until I was asleep to kill me? I got up out of bed and into my closet to get my wooden baseball bat; the one Ham bought me with his allowance. I moved towards the window and just as I was about to open it, someone burst in. I knew that face, I knew that body, I knew that voice. It was Benny.

"Benny? What the fuck are you doing here?" I shouted in a whisper.

"You never came to the Scoop! I was just worried about you! What happened with Yeah-Yeah?" My face dropped and I motioned for him to sit on my bed.

"I told him how I felt," I said quietly.

"And?"

"And he said it just wouldn't work with us," I mumbled.

"Penny, I'm sorry," He said, draping an arm around me. "Not everything is gonna work out," Penny felt the tears already falling down her face. "Penny, please don't cry," Benny said, pulling her into a hug. Other than the cries, I was silent crying into Benny.

"Hey, look at it this way, you can find someone even better now," He whispered, brushing my hair with his fingers. "It'll be okay Penny,"

Right then, I felt something weird. A new sort of emotion. Was I feeling something for Benny? He was like, my best friend…He looked at me and I could make out his features even if the dark. He smiled down at me and then it vanished. He lent down and kissed me. Suddenly, all those feelings I had for Alan somehow were all vanishing, like dying embers of a raging fire. These feelings were then filled with feelings for Benny. Benny parted his lips from mine and looked back down at me.

"I guess I've found someone even better now," I admitted, smiling shyly.

"Yeah, I guess you have," Benny answered, smiling and then lent down to kiss me again.