Title: You Just Got Inked! (or Tramp Stamps For All The Wrong Reasons)
Warnings: Swearing?
Notes: 30 min challenge of Clint and Tony and the word 'tattoo'. So here we go.
Clint's pretty damn sure he's done his fair share of stupid things while drunk, including proposing to Natasha very loudly in a hotel room in Rome, but the following about does it and made his list for Dumbass Things Barton Thought Were A Good Idea When Intoxicated. He knew, when he has a little too many beers or takes some of Tony's whiskey and wanders off with the bottle, he is… nice to people. Tony had JARVIS record one party time where Clint was going round to every member of their insane posse, and telling them how much he liked them. Completely platonically, mind, but he did it nonetheless. He had stumbled over to Tony, put his bottle holding arm around the guy and proceed to say –
'You know… You're alright Stark…I'm…mean … Tony. Can I call you Tony?... You're cool, I like you… You're a decent guy just like Steve! Uhm…. Yeah. Oh, oh, and you're not that bad to look at either. If I swung that way –which I don't … why do people think I do?'
Then he'd passed out.
That was a good five months ago and Clint still had an inkling that Tony had kept that video somewhere in his intelligence system to use against him when he deemed necessary. Still the night before was coming back to him in blotches and at least he woke up in his own bed. He had gone out drinking with Thor (Never drink with him it's a bad idea. Cap's the only one who can out drink him) and Tony in NYC, hitting the best bars that Tony had VIP access to. He remembered the first six bars and clubs, but after the vodka it all went blurry and sideways. Clint really should know better than to drink spirits around Stark. Then again, he wasn't known for his brains on the teams.
'Rise and shine Katniss!' Tony's voice said, and Clint nearly fell off the bed in shock. He twisted wildly in his bed sheets, scowling and moaning as pain hammered through his head. Hangover. Bollocks. Tony was leant against his wall as happy as could be.
'How are you not suffering?' Clint asked, doubling over to rest his head on his knees.
'I didn't drink as much as you and Bruce gave me his own 'hangover cure juice'. You should go get him to make you some. Not as good as Pepper's but it's very good' Tony said idly, pushing himself off the wall and stalking over to Clint's bed. The agent groaned.
'Go away'
'No can do Robin Hood' Tony said cheerfully and Clint rubbed his eyes. 'There's some water on the bedside table' and Clint lolled his head in the direction, seeing that Tony was right. He took two large gulps, his head clearing a little. 'Got any aches or pains or anything?' Tony asked innocently.
'What did you do?' Clint asked - nay he accused, looking horrified, clutching the glass of water to his chest.
'Me? I did nothing, my dear. You however, might want to clear something with Coulson. What does S.H.I.E.L.D think of name tattoos, they probably don't rank them very highly because, well you know, being a faceless agent and everything' Tony said, smoothing out the covers of Clint's bed.
Clint blinked, rocking backwards and forwards. Now that he thought about it, his ass ached. Not in that way! Why the hell was Tony going on about tattoos? Why was he smirking?
Oh no. Clint put the glass back on the table, untangled himself from the sheets and hobbled to the en suite bathroom, Tony calmly following. Clint twisted in the mirror, most likely looking like a complete idiot, and he pulled at the top of his boxers, easing them down to reveal what hoped to God was just a bruise and Tony was being a jackass.
There in black calligraphy writing with gold and red emblazoning were the words TONY STARK. Clint gaped.
'What the fuck is that?!' he basically screamed and the seemed to do if for the billionaire. He didn't laugh, oh no, he cackled. 'Why do I have your name on my ass?' Clint asked, going red from his cheeks downwards.
This was so unfair.
'I don't know. You were very persistent last night. I told you not to do it' Tony said in between breaths and Clint hitched up his boxers again, glaring at the other man. 'I kind of like it' Tony said before succumbing to hysterical laughter.
'You would you narcissist. This is insane. It really fucking hurts!' Clint said as he went to lean back on the basin and yelped. 'I need to get this removed. Now' Clint pushed past Tony and went on the hunt for his cell phone. His clothes from last night were strewn everywhere leading in a trail from the door. Even bending over hurt like a bitch.
'Well if it makes you feel any better…' Tony said still grinning, and he swaggered over, Clint retrieving his cell and going down the contacts to S.H.I.E.L.D medical. He hated lazers but he will not go around with that on his ass.
'What Tony?' Clint snapped.
'Thor got your name'
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