THE HEAVEN DRILL SARGENT
Panty and Stocking were really doing Garter's head in. Their bad attitude, their fights, their money wasting, and all the stuff we know that causes Garter to tear out clumps of his afro with frustration. Getting peace and quiet was an absolute no-no when you were in a house with the Anarchies.
Also, Panty and Stocking never cooked the dinner, washed the dishes, made the beds, cleaned the house or paid the bills. You wouldn't dare asking them to do those things either.
Garter needed a big long holiday. Big time. So, he went on Heaven Online to see if there was anyone who could discipline Panty and Stocking. He was in luck.
There was an advert that said "Having Angel Trouble? Call Janet Hillary, drill sargent to teach them etiquette, discipline and politeness."
Garter gave her a call and after that, booked a two week in The Caribbean.
The next morning, Garter ordered Panty and Stocking to come into the living room. The girls sat on the sofa as Garter told them that he was going away to The Caribbean for two weeks. Panty and Stocking were happy because they could have the house all to themselves and invite lots of people for a party.
But not on Garter's watch, as the strict Janet Hillary walked into the room. She was a woman who looked like she was in her late 40's. She was dressed in a military uniform and carried a horse rod.
Panty and Stocking look at her.
"Who the fuck is this bitch?" asked Panty.
At that moment, Janet whipped Panty on the legs with her rod. Panty yelled in pain and looked at Garter.
"She hit me!" she cried.
"Yeah, it looks like it," said Garter as he picked up his suitcase to leave for the airport. "Have fun, Janet."
"Oh I most definitely will," grinned Janet.
Panty and Stocking were starting to get scared of her.
"Right, ladies. We're going to have a list of rules for the next two weeks," began Janet. "There is to be no swearing, no bad attitudes, no laziness. You will cook your own meals and wash the dishes. You will be polite, disciplined, have respect for others and do as you're told. Perfectly clear?"
"Erm... er... uh...," began Panty and Stocking who were dreading this.
Janet immediately whacked them on the heads with the rod. They cried in pain.
"Failure to do so, you will be hit by the rod. Is that clear?" asked Janet.
"Yes, yes!" said Panty and Stocking, fearing that she would hit them again.
"Right, this place is a dump. I want every nook and cranny of this house clean and all the garbage thrown in the trash," said Janet. "Is that clear?"
"The whole fuckin' house?" said Panty and Stocking in disbelief.
Never had they lifted a finger to do a thing. Janet whacked them on the heads with the rod several times until the angels backed away.
"Get started, now!" cried Janet.
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Panty and Stocking got out buckets of water, cloths, sponges, scrubbing brushes and rubber gloves. They cleaned the whole house from top to bottom. It took them hours and they were exhausted. They looked around and were proud of their work. Even Janet was impressed.
"Good work. Feels rewarding when you finished hard work, doesn't it?"
Panty and Stocking nodded. Janet looked at her watch.
"It is dinner time. I will teach you how to cook."
Unfortunately, things turned rough again when Panty and Stocking had a massive fight in the kitchen about what to do. They were after burning the potatoes and vegetables. So, they started to hit each other. Janet hit them both with the rod.
"Panty and Stocking, I am very ashamed of you. As punishment, you will both go to bed without supper."
Panty and Stocking left the kitchen and went into the living room. They sat down and started to watch TV. Janet came in and gave them a cold stare. Panty and Stocking looked at her and realised that stare meant something.
"You mean go to bed right now?" asked Panty.
Janet nodded.
"But it's 7 O'Clock," said Stocking.
"Now!" bellowed Janet.
Panty and Stocking got off the sofa, left the room and went upstairs.
When they got into their rooms, Panty discovered that all her porn magazines and sex toys were gone and Stocking discovered that her fridge of goodies were gone. They ran downstairs to talk to Janet about this.
"Quite right. There is to be no sex or junk food in this house. Filthy, disgusting things," she said.
Panty and Stocking went back upstairs to bed. They wanted this two week nightmare to end.
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The next morning at 6.00, Janet woke up Panty and Stocking and forced them to dress up in jogging suits and jog around the park.
She chased after Panty and Stocking with a whistle yelling "C'mon, ladies, keep 'er lit!"
After an hour of jogging, Janet gave Panty and Stocking a 10 minute break. Panty had her eye set on a very handsome young man. She went over to him and they flirted for a bit. They then decided to run to the men's toilets for a quickie. But when they opened up the door to one of the cubicles, there standing in front of them was Janet with her arms folded.
"What do you think you're doing?" she asked.
"Oh come on, I've got 7 minutes," said Panty.
"You're going to have intercourse with that boy. It's disgusting," said Janet. "Young man, what would your parents think?"
"Erm...er..." began the young man.
"As punishment, there is to be no TV for a week." said Janet.
"WHAT?" asked Panty.
So because of Panty's actions, she and Stocking had to do press ups. Stocking looked at Panty angrily.
"Dude, this is a fu..., I mean... this is an effing nightmare," she said, trying not to swear to avoid the wrath of the rod.
"I'd never thought I'd say this but, I wish Garter were here," said Panty.
That night they had lumpy potatoes and vegetables for dinner. Panty and Stocking couldn't bear to eat it. But they had to, if they wanted to avoid getting whipped on the head by the rod.
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The next day, Janet got an invitation to go to a dinner party for tomorrow night. She wanted Panty and Stocking to come with her. So, she spent the day teaching Panty and Stocking etiquette and politeness. The Anarchies of course couldn't be polite if their lives depended on it. They awkwardly learned to use their knives and forks in the correct way and saying "Please" and "Thank you".
Janet took the sisters to a boutique. They tried on all sorts of dresses for the party. Panty found a big red one and Stocking found a black one. Janet found a glamorous white one. For the first time in 4 days, they were actually enjoying their day with Janet.
The next night all 3 of them arrived at the dinner party in their dresses. It was in big mansion that was owned by a friend of Janet. He was a man called Uzmund Mirandi who organises charities. He was a little concerned that the Anarchy sisters were going to be there tonight, but Janet told him not to worry.
Panty, Stocking and Janet joined all the guests at the dinner table. Surprisingly, Panty and Stocking behaved themselves. But they were actually really bored. They had nothing in common with the other guests. All the conversations involved fancy cars, fancy clothes, "I own about 5 houses in Manhattan", "Well, I own 12 in Liverpool."
Nothing Panty and Stocking would be interested in. The boredom drove them mad.
After dinner, which went for ever, all the guests went to the great hall. Instead of dancing, all the guests stood there and just spoke to each other. Panty and Stocking kept looking at the clock. When will this night ever end? They couldn't even talk about dirty things to the guests. All Panty and Stocking could do was walk up and down the hall, bored out of their minds.
"That does it," Panty whispered to Stocking. "I'm gonna have to fuck someone right now or else I'm going to explode."
"But what about Janet?" asked Stocking.
"You'll keep her busy and I'll buy you that big motherfucking sundae from that ice cream parlour," said Panty.
"Deal," said Stocking.
So Stocking went over to Janet and her group of friends and started asking her boring questions. Meanwhile, Panty flirted with a man about 20 years old and begged him to come to the toilets with her.
"Why are you asking me all these questions, Stocking?" asked Janet. "Why the sudden interest? And where is your sister?"
Janet looked around. "And look, Morris Micklewhite is gone too."
Panty and the young man, Morris were about to have sex in the toilet cubicle in the ladies, until there was a knock on the door.
"One second," said Panty as Morris entered her.
The cubicle door banged again.
"Wait just a second!" said Panty, sternly.
The door banged again.
"Would you fuck off and go another cubicle, bitch!" shouted Panty.
"Panty Anarchy!" yelled Janet.
"Oh shit," said Panty quietly.
She opened the door and saw Janet standing there with Stocking beside her.
"Sorry, Panty. I tried," said Stocking.
"Well... well... well I never!" said Janet. "I am very disappointed in you, Panty. And you Stocking. Both of you worked together to plan this trick!" She looked very upset. "I taught you to behave, I taught you how to be polite and this is the thanks I get?"
Panty had enough. She couldn't take it anymore. She was so angry.
She looked at Janet and shouted "YEAH, WELL YOU KNOW WHAT? FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU, JANET! FUCK YOU RIGHT UP THE ASS! I'M TIRED OF YOUR POLITENESS AND ETIQUETTE SHIT! YOU CAN TAKE ALL YOUR RULES AND SHOVE THEM UP YOUR CUNT!"
Panty was red in the face and out of breath. "AND YOU KNOW WHAT? STOCKING AND I ARE MOVING OUT OF THE HOUSE BECAUSE WE CAN'T BARE ANOTHER SECOND WITH YOU!"
Janet stared at Panty with tears in her eyes.
"Well, at least you were nice enough to say 'Stocking and I' instead of 'me and Stocking'. So be it. When we get back home, you two pack your suitcases and leave the house. You won't be allowed back in without an apology."
"Don't worry, we won't!" snarled Panty.
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So, Panty, Stocking and Janet went back to their house. Panty and Stocking got back into their normal clothes, packed their suitcases and took a cab to Enfer City. Janet just kept the house to herself. She sat on the sofa in the living room in tears.
"I failed," she said with her voice shaking.
Panty and Stocking arrived in Enfer City. It was dark and pretty violent looking. They were in a bad place. They walked down the street looking for a motel.
As they walked down the street, they passed punks jeering at them.
"Hey baby, why don't you suck on this!"
They whipped out their cocks and wiggled them at the sisters. Panty and Stocking were so scared. But they thought it was better here than in the house with Janet.
They found a motel that was cheap enough. The receptionist was this fat bastard of a man who stared at Panty and Stocking in a gross way. It made them feel uncomfortable. Their room was a dump. The lights didn't work, it smelled funny, there was only one single bed and the mattress was covered with piss and semen. The TV didn't work and the water was a disgusting shit brown.
"Still, better here than with that bitch," said Panty.
"Yeah," said Stocking disagreeing with her.
Panty and Stocking lay in bed together. The walls were so thin, that they could hear the gunshots, screaming and violence of Enfer City. Panty felt the pillow moving by itself.
"What the?" she asked as she opened up the pillow case.
At the moment, about 50 cockroaches burst out of the pillow. Panty and Stocking screamed and stood up on the bed as the cockroaches made their way underneath the door and out to the street. Panty and Stocking held onto each other in fear.
The next morning, they both woke up all in pins and needles.
"Panty?" asked Stocking.
"I know what you're gonna say and the answer is No," said Panty. "We are not going back home where that bitch is waiting for us. I know this place is a dump, but with a woman's touch..."
At that moment, they heard the sound of a car heading towards the motel. It was getting louder and louder. It sounded really loud. Panty and Stocking backed out of the way as a car burst through the wall.
The driver inside said "Sorry about that." and reversed.
"That's it!" said Stocking. "We're going home!"
Panty nodded. They took the cab back to their house. They were dreading to be going back home to face Janet. They spent the whole journey making up their apologies to Janet. They weren't happy with any of them. They arrived at the house and entered with dread.
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To their surprise, Janet wasn't there. They called her name and got no answer. Then, they noticed a DVD in the living room that had a note sellotaped to it saying "Play Me."
The girls put the DVD on and saw Janet with a pistol pointed at her head. And who were with her? None other than Scanty and Kneesocks.
"Greeting Anarchies," said Scanty.
"We heard that this woman was causing you bother, so we decided to get rid of her for you," said Kneesocks.
"You really ought to thank us," said Scanty. "But if you really do actually care about this woman, you will meet us on top of City Hall."
The DVD ended.
Panty and Stocking looked at each other. They actually wished for something bad to happen to Janet, and now that it has come true, they felt like shit. Having a conscience is a real bitch. Even if someone you really hate is in trouble, you have to do what you gotta do.
"Motherfucker, all right." they both said in unison.
They decided to go and rescue Janet.
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They arrived at the top of City Hall. On top of the building was a big pyramid. On the top of that, Janet was handcuffed to two posts. Scanty did that being her usual kinky self. The Deamon sisters were waiting for the angels at the bottom of the pyramid.
"Hello, Anarchies," said Scanty and Kneesocks.
"Hello, bitches," said Panty and Stocking.
"So what's your plan?" asked Panty.
Scanty pulled out a remote control. She pressed a button and from behind Panty and Stocking, a big part of the roof opened and a giant laser cannon rose from it. It was 100 feet high.
"This laser cannon will disintegrate your friend. Not to Heaven. Not to Hell. But to nothingness," said Kneesocks.
Panty and Stocking looked at Janet who was really upset and worried. They couldn't help but sorry for her. Even after all that stuff she did to them.
"You have 1 minute to rescue her," said Scanty as she pressed a button on her remote.
On the laser cannon, there was a timer. It started a countdown "59, 58, 57...".
Panty and Stocking started to run up the pyramid, but Scanty and Kneesocks got out their weapons and started to attack Panty and Stocking. The angels fought them off. As they were fighting the Deamon sisters, Panty and Stocking got higher and higher up the steps, but the Deamon sisters kept dragging them back down.
The timer said "35, 34, 33."
Janet was fearing that this was it. She was gonna die. Panty and Stocking were losing this battle. So they figured that there was only one thing to do: They had to be hit by the Deamon sisters and not fight back. They had to get to Janet no matter how painful their wounds were.
So, they climbed higher and higher up the steps. Scanty managed to shoot Panty in the ankle. It hurt like hell, but Panty didn't care. Kneesocks slashed at Stocking's arms and legs. They hurt like fuck, but she didn't care either. The angels managed to get to the top of the steps. They then made their way over to Janet.
"5, 4, 3".
Stocking managed to cut the chains of the handcuffs and she and Panty brought Janet away from the pyramid just in time as the laser cannon fired. It hit from where Janet was standing.
The Deamon sisters had enough.
"Au reviour, angels," they said as they ran over to an elevator. The doors opened and they went inside.
Panty and Stocking looked at Janet, who looked back at them.
"I owe you an apology," said Panty. "I take back all the things I said. I know I'm not a nice person. I know I'm rude to people. That's just who I am. I'm really sorry. You can hit me as many times with the rod if you want."
"Same here," said Stocking.
Janet looked at their wounds.
"Well, you seem to be in a lot of pain already," she said. "So, I'm not going to. Yes, you may not be the nicest people in the world. You were both kicked out of Heaven for a good reason. Well, I wasn't a very nice person myself when I was teenager. I did all kinds of horrible things, vandalism, bullying, being rude to everyone, you name it. My parents had enough and sent me to Military School for discipline. My drill sargent was very strict and she put me through Hell. But when it was over, my behaviour was better and I was a nicer person. So, I wanted to help troubled kids when I grew up. I joined the army and became a drill sargent at a military school. I taught troubled youths the same rules I was taught. But, I was killed when I was 47. One of the pupils went AWOL and shot me. But when I was Heaven, God told me that if there's any troubled angels, namely you two, who need discipline, I'll be there to sort them out. And since you both risked your lives to save me, for that I'm grateful. I forgive you."
Panty and Stocking smiled.
"But that doesn't mean the program is over," said Janet. "We still have another week to go. You still will have to follow the rules."
Panty and Stocking nodded.
"But as a reward, you can have your porn magazines and your snacks back," said Janet.
The sisters smiled again.
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So, the angels continued the program with Janet being a little less mean and the angels being a bit nicer. When they weren't cleaning or jogging, they were able to talk to Janet and treat her like a friend. On Janet's very last day, they decide to not follow the rules and have a bit of fun. They decided to go out and party. They arrived at a nightclub and Panty flirted (and shagged) many men, Stocking ate junk food and Janet drank heavily and danced. This was an unusual side of Janet that the sisters never saw before.
The next morning Panty woke up with 30 men in her room, Stocking woke up in the living room with take out dishes everywhere and Janet woke up in the bath. The house was a mess. Once all 30 of Panty's men left, the sisters and Janet cleaned the house. Just in time for Garter's arrival. He had a wonderful time. He thanked Janet for sorting Panty and Stocking out. Garter put his Smartphone on the kitchen table for a minute and Panty swiped it off him.
"C'mon, let's see some photos," she said as she sat down beside Stocking on the sofa in the living room.
Garter panicked. "Er, no. Yo' better gave that back now, girl!"
Panty turned on the Smartphone and went through the photos. She and Stocking looked very puzzled.
"Er, Garter, why is there 20 pictures of teenage boys in this? Wearing very small trunks."
Garter swiped the camera off them.
"Erm, some asshole stole the camera and went crazy with it. He took whatever pictures he wanted and I forgot to delete them."
Panty and Stocking looked at him in disbelief.
"Right," they said.
They said goodbye to Janet and told her that they had a great time with her. Janet said that she enjoyed her time here too. Maybe they'll meet again in the future.
END