HELLO EVERYONE! The Wandering Mercenary here bringing you a thing! I bet you didn't know this, but I started out on FanFiction writing what I like to call "an attempt at humor"

Buuut, they all suck.

Because who wants to read a story that's like 100 words long? Therefore, I'm using an authors note to up my word count.

I know, I'm horrible.

So, I've done Pokemon, Fnaf, ZeldaxFairy Tail. And that's about it.

So who likes Fire Emblem Fates?

" WHAT IS LOVE? BABY DONT HURT ME! DONT HURT ME! NO MORE!"

A very handsome man rode his absolutely sexy horse into battle, staring at the DIRTY HOSHIDAN BASTARDS that were all over his battlefield.

" YOU DIRTY HOSHIDAN BASTARDS, HOW DARE YOU BE ALL OVER MY BATTLEFIELD?!"

Just then, he got a response from a being that was dressed as a lobster, but still way sexier than him, and his horse, combined.

" GASP, HOW DARE YOU CALL MY HOSHIDAN BASTARDS DIRTY?!"

The Lobster Man charged at the Sexy Horse Man, and they had a sword battle. LIKE MEN!

Meanwhile, a little pussy named Corrin waved his bronze sword at an axe guy.

" Eww, a DIRTY NOHRIAN SCUM! Get it you Sexy Beast Hinoka!"

Then, a sexy beast, on a sexy beast with wings came and skewered the axe man.

" Ah dammit, I got skewered again."

The Sexy Beast threw the skewered man halfway across the battlefield, impaling some random loli on a horse.

" Ah, Oni-chhaaaan, I've been skewered on the same skewer that was skewered into another man. Other man, my heart only belongs to my oni-chaaan!"

The dead axe man didn't respond.

The pussy hid behind Sexy Beast Hinoka, But Sexy Beast Hinoka had better things to do. So, when a Lance man named Lance showed up, the Pussy Corrin cowered in fear.

" Ah no. Not another one. Takumi, get him."

So the best character in Fates came up, and picked up his Fujin Microphone.

" Let me tell you about this one time I went to Disney World.

Comedy is super effective against DIRTY NOHRIAN SCUM! DIRTY NOHRIAN SCUM has fainted!

Then, giant pussy Corrin teleported in between Sexy Horse Man, and Lobster Man.

" OI YOU PUSSY BITCH, CHOOSE A SIDE."

The GIANT FUCKING PUSSY looked at both sides. His siblings by blood, or the people that had been with him all his life. He was confused who was he gonna cho-

" Hoshido, it has more sexy beasts."

And thus, The giant Pussy chose the RIGHT path.