A rare opening note from me. This is in fact the long awaited (not really) follow up to Restoring Faith and By Chance but I wanted to say that I do not feel those are necessarily required reading for this to make sense. I do think those are worth reading...more than some of my other offerings anyway. But if you don't want to read them and you have questions, feel free to contact me. I think I have explained enough in this and really By Chance is the only one referenced in this story.-J
"Any change?" Rachel asked when she looked up from her desk to see Lou standing in the doorway.
Lou shook her head sadly.
"I got her to eat something but otherwise…well, it's like when he got shot all over again. Except worse."
Rachel nodded. Those years ago when her sweet, affable Cody had first taken a fancy for the plain girl in the faded dress, they had all wondered about him. They hadn't started out on the strongest of footing but it had made them stronger people for it and their love was something to be envied. But now…well, now everything was a mess.
"Where's Stephano?"
"I left him with Teaspoon and Buck," Lou replied concerning Cody and Heather's lone child so far. The lad was all of two years old and the spitting image of his father—just as mischievous as well.
"If anyone can handle that boy it will be them."
Lou nodded in understanding.
"I just hope we can keep her strong enough for the one she's carrying."
"You got her to eat…that's something. I'll take the little guy home with me tonight. Addie loves fussing on him."
"Has Addie been able to get through to her yet?"
Rachel shook her head and blinked back the tears. Addie might legally be her child but for years the only one to raise that girl had been Heather, little more than a girl herself. Those two shared a bond that was so strong that nothing could or would ever test it. Still when Addie would visit, Heather would just sit and stare like she did nearly all the time. Addie would offer a hug every time she left and Heather would hug her back. Once Addie'd heard a soft whisper, "I love you." But that was it and it hurt Addie which hurt Rachel.
Rachel loved Heather too and seeing her like this and knowing why was near to killing her, near to doing all of them in really. She gave a weary sigh and looked at Lou's slightly swollen belly.
"Heather's not the only one who needs to take care of herself, Louise," Rachel said firmly but with love. "Jamie with his pa now?"
"Yeah, Kid's worried about Heather too so he said he'd keep an eye on him while I checked on her," Lou answered distantly while absently rubbing her belly. "I'll never be able to thank God enough for Kid staying home. Didn't this fight take enough from us when we had to bury Noah and watch Jimmy ride off with that horrid woman?"
Rachel saw every fiber of Lou's being try to hold off the tears and in another time she might've been able to. But with all they had suffered, all she'd seen her family to through and then the life growing in her right then, Rachel knew it was to be a futile fight against those tears. She bustled out from behind her desk to wrap her arms around the woman who had just voiced her own thoughts. They had lost plenty and it was time for this ugliness to be over…or at least to stop targeting her family with its path of devastation.
The two women dried their tears and set to planning the rest of the day.
"You skedaddle on home," Rachel began, "I'll go get Stephano from the men before they spoil him completely rotten. Then I can make some supper to take to Heather. I'm sure Addie's already there. She was heading there after school. I sent a book with her to read to Heather."
Lou nodded and turned to leave and then paused and turned back with her brow creased.
"We-we're going to be alright, aren't we?" she asked much more timidly than Rachel had seen from her in a long time. Lou was usually anything but timid and even terrified, she would jut her chin out and move forward into whatever there was to move into. But right then she looked younger than Addie and frightened. "I don't just mean him, I mean all of us, our family…Heather, her baby…we're going to be alright?"
Rachel's heart broke for the girl right then.
"I expect we will," Rachel said softly, "I don't know what the future holds any more than anyone else but we're strong and we love each other and somehow whatever life throws at us, we'll be fine in the end."
"Stephano William Cody! How much candy have you eaten?" Rachel yelled when she caught sight of the child who was a mass of dirt stuck to his face with drooled candy.
Her eyes lifted to the two guilty looking men. Even Teaspoon withered under her glare.
"I trust you to take care of him while his mother is…well, in the shape she's in. She's trusting you. You're supposed to look out for him, not fill him full of candy!"
"But Rachel," Buck pleaded for mercy, "He's so cute."
Rachel softened, "I know he is. I just hope the two of you didn't spoil his supper."
"Will I be seeing you later, Mrs. Dunne?" Teaspoon asked hopefully. Addressing her that formally was really for effect but the question was serious. They had been spending time together. Their mutual respect and love of their family had grown through the years into a genuine affection for one another. Teaspoon would even be so bold as to say it had blossomed into love. The dined together most nights and if anyone in town knew or thought anything of it, they kept those thoughts to themselves.
Now Teaspoon asked because he liked Rachel's company and enjoyed the time they spent together. But mostly he worried for her. She took so much on herself. She saw to the kids that was left, didn't outwardly mope about the ones that weren't. Teaspoon knew she still missed Noah and Ike and Cody when he was away…and Jimmy wherever he was. She delivered Stephano and Jamie, Kid and Lou's boy. She'd for sure be there to see Heather's new little one into the world and Lou's as well. She took care of Addie like the best mother could. Teaspoon knew that child was a gift straight from heaven to her but it was still a burden sometimes to raise a child that didn't start as hers. Of course, Teaspoon loved Addie too and had filled in for a pa as best he could. Trying to figure out what was right for that girl was probably when they first became close. Addie had not handled Noah's death well at all and then when Jimmy rode off, well, she near to lost it completely. She'd just been a little girl then, all of eight and so much had changed in her life so quickly. Heather had been forced to run off leaving the girl without a female at all and then the girl's pa had been killed. It was for the best and no one blamed Jimmy for the kill shot but it was a big change all the same. Addie had wanted to cling to Heather and even had some but Heather had been occupied with taking care of Cody. Martin Lepley had gotten a couple of shots into Cody before going down himself. Addie had nearly lost everyone in a very short time.
Then, when Cody and Heather had married, she'd been placed formally with Rachel. Heather moved into the small house that Cody had built and Addie was left with Rachel. Things just kept changing and maybe a girl who hadn't lost her ma so early or hadn't been raised in the kind of home Addie had might've taken it all in stride but nearly everything shook the poor thing. Cody left for the army and even though he came back often and had more freedom than others in the army, his being gone was hard on Addie—more so even than it was on Heather. Heather was so busy trying to make a home for him to take refuge in when he came to see her. Then Stephano came and that change, while happy, was difficult for Addie to adjust to as well. Now having just turned thirteen, Addie loved Stephano and was the only one of all of them with the patience and energy for the lad for any amount of time. And she was over the moon about the new little one due nearly any day.
At least Addie would not have been among Rachel's worries if not for how upset Heather was right now. But Heather was frightened and sad and in a state none of them had seen her in for a very long time and it was affecting Addie and by extension, Rachel.
Teaspoon loved sitting in the evenings and talking to Rachel. He loved being allowed a kiss or two but lately he wanted to be with her in the evenings so that he could help to soothe her. He would hold her tight to him and let her cry, let her finally stop being the rock that they all clung to for a while, let her cling to something, someone. He loved being what she could cling to. He would stroke her hair and kiss the top of her head. He would rub her shoulders where she seemed to carry the burdens of the world and sometimes he would get a smile for his efforts. But as angry as she looked when she caught sight of Stephano, Teaspoon wasn't sure he'd get the chance to be the rock that the rock reached for.
His heart soared when Rachel smiled at him.
"I was thinking that maybe you'd want to come out to see Heather with me. Maybe if we're around like a family dinner she'll eat more. I worry she won't have the strength to birth that child when her time comes."
Teaspoon nodded his ascent as a streak of calico and braided pigtails ran through the door and past his desk.
"Mama!" Addie cried, "Mama, come quick."
"Adelaide," Rachel replied, "What is it? Calm down and tell me what's the matter."
"It's Heather," the girl panted still trying to catch her breath from running all the way there. "I think the baby's coming."
It wasn't a surprise to Rachel. She knew that child could come any time but Stephano had been born late so Rachel had held hope that this baby would wait until they could break Heather out of her depression. She took a breath and closed her eyes for a minute so she could picture everything that needed to happen and who she had available to do which things. When she opened them, there was no worry or weariness evident in them anymore. She was steely eyed and in command as she began doling out orders.
"Buck, you'll have to keep an eye on the little one a while longer. Maybe Lou wouldn't mind setting an extra place but don't you dare dump that boy on her. She needs her rest too and Jamie's a handful in his own right."
Buck nodded but she didn't even see it. There was no time to wait for people to accept their designated tasks. They had to and that was it. These were not requests.
"Teaspoon, you come with me and Addie. I need her in with me so you'll have to get things around for me."
Rachel rolled up her sleeves as she walked into Heather's room. The girl was in the midst of a pain and was screaming. Addie hung in the door. Rachel turned to her.
"We don't have time for that, sweetie," she said, "She needs us now. You can be scared later."
"I don't know what to do."
"Hold her hand. There isn't much else to be done for her now. Once the pain passes we can get her into a nightgown. She'll be much more comfortable that way."
As she had said they would, Rachel and Addie set to changing Heather out of her dress as soon as the pain subsided.
"Rachel?" Heather asked and it surprised Rachel. They had not heard the girl's voice in weeks.
"It's okay sweetie. I'm here. Addie and I are here for you. We'll help you through."
"No."
"What was that?"
"No."
"I don't understand."
"I can't have this baby until Billy comes home. He promised. When I saw him last, he promised me he would be back before it came. He always keeps his word, Rachel. I can't have the baby until he's here."
"I don't know what to tell you, Heather," Rachel stated matter-of-factly, "Because this baby is coming and it doesn't want to wait for Billy. We are not running this show."
Heather wanted to protest further but her body was wracked by another pain.
Teaspoon sat in the other room and then on the porch. He had fetched a basin of water and some cloths that Addie could wipe Heather's face with and was no longer needed. He didn't want to stray far in case there was something else required of him but he hated being close enough to hear the girl's screams. He had seen this poor child come so very far. She'd been just shy of her sixteenth birthday when he'd met her. She had run to the station because her uncle she was living with, Addie's father, had mistreated her in ways no woman should even know she could be mistreated. She had been skittish as a kicked cat but slowly he had seen her emerge from all that had come before. She blossomed before their eyes.
He had been among those who wondered about Cody when he had set his cap for the young lady. She was, in a word, plain and that was something William Cody had never pursued before. After a while they came to know that plain was what she wanted people to see. Plain kept her from being the target of even more abuse. Plain was her shield. But plain she was not. She had eyes like springtime and long, dark hair and once she wasn't just getting the dregs that five boys and a grown man left her, she even developed a figure. By the time he walked her down the aisle to meet her love and by then Teaspoon understood it was love, inspiring and pure love…well, a man had never been prouder of anything than Teaspoon had of her that day.
She had come to them a frail and battered girl. They all had been careful to not frighten her more as she nearly jumped at her own shadow most of the time but she had become a woman. And as powerful and vibrant a woman as to be able to hold her own next to Cody. That took some doing right there.
As he pondered on the girl and how he had come to love her like his own, how she had been the reason Addie had come to his life, he realized that Heather wasn't screaming anymore. It was silent, eerily so. But then the lusty cries of a newborn child cut through the deafening silence. It was perhaps no surprise that a child sprung in any way from Billy Cody's loins would have healthy lungs but it was good to hear all the same.
He heard the front door open and looked to see Addie standing there with tears in her eyes. Teaspoon opened his arms to the girl and she ran to him and sobbed against his chest. He understood. It was an emotional and overwhelming thing to see a new life into the world. She was still a little girl for all she'd been through and she'd never experienced such a thing.
"Oh Pa," she said through her sniffles. It wasn't something she called him often but she asked him once if he was her pa or if he could be. By then it was clear to nearly everyone that he and Rachel had something special and he knew he loved this girl as if she was his own. He told her he'd be proud to be if that's what she wanted. Still she usually called him Teaspoon. Her words now brought the moisture to his own eyes. "Oh Pa, it was so…so…I can't even find words. Heather was amazing! And the baby, she's so pretty!"
"A girl?"
Addie nodded. They both looked up to see Rachel in the doorway.
"Addie honey," she said gently, "Could I speak to Teaspoon alone for a bit?"
The girl nodded smiling at her mother. She was happy to have been one of the first people to meet the new baby but it was more than that. Her mama had brought her in and treated her like one of the women. Addie knew she wasn't a woman yet and she was one of the few girls her age who wasn't begging to wear her hair loose and rid herself of the childish braids. Addie had seen the way Heather had lived, how quickly she'd had to grow up and she wanted no part of that. Things had worked out well for Heather but still Addie was in no rush to have a houseful of children and working non-stop to clean and cook and mend. Heather had near to worked herself to death before she was even a proper courting age. As she got older she got more tiny pieces of the story but knew she still didn't know all of it and wasn't sure she ever would or would want to. But being there to help deliver the baby was different. It felt good.
Inside the small house Teaspoon looked to the woman who had stolen his heart when he thought love might finally have been done with him.
"What's the matter? Something wrong with the babe?"
"No, the baby's perfect," she said, "Beautiful big blue eyes and lots of hair but so fair you can't hardly see it. She's lovely."
"Something wrong with Heather?"
"She tried to feed her and of course at the beginning that doesn't amount to much. She held her but she will hardly look at her and she won't even talk about a name. She just keeps saying she has to wait for Billy."
Teaspoon looked at the door of the bedroom.
"Is she decent?"
Rachel nodded.
"I'll go and talk to her."
He walked into the dimly lit room. It was late and the poor girl had been laboring for hours before she brought the little one into the world. He'd still expected her to be awake but she was not. She was sound asleep with the baby next to her swaddled tightly. Rachel was right, the baby was beautiful.
He sat down in a chair next to the bed and watched Heather sleep for a while and then he watched the baby sleep for a while. Then he thought on all that had happened.
It had been good news when Heather found out she was expecting. Stephano was nearly two now and was such a sweet boy even with his wild streak. That was only to be expected being a child of Cody's after all. The war was winding down by all accounts and they looked forward to getting Cody home for good soon. Teaspoon knew he wasn't going to be there to stay of course but he also knew that Cody would never stay away forever and once he was free of the war, he would keep Heather with him all the time.
So they looked forward to the news that he would be coming home. He had gotten away briefly a few months before and had promised Heather that he would be there when the baby was born and that he would be all hers again. He would then get to the business of building the life he felt she deserved. But then his letters stopped and the only word they got was that the last place he had been had a lot of trouble. There was a near massacre with heavy casualties on both sides and they hadn't all been sorted even yet. Teaspoon knew he might have to bury another of his boys. It killed him to even think it.
He looked now at the sleeping females and sighed heavily. He was too old for this but he wasn't sure there was a good age to bury your children. He knew there was only one who could help him now and he bowed his head.
"God, I know you and me ain't always been on good terms. I probably cursed your name a bit too often and didn't praise it often enough. Sometimes we focus too much on what we need from you that we don't see all you do for us. Easy to ask for that blessing, the kind word from the pretty girl…whatever…harder to remember to thank you for the colors in the sunset or the cry of a newborn. I do thank you for that. Little one here ain't got a name but whatever it is, I'm thankful for her. I'm thankful for so much. I really am. Heather here's been nothing but a blessing to us. What she means to that boy, I can't even tell you what the change in him has been like to see. And Addie…just thank you for that. And Rachel too. I never thought I'd have me another sweetheart. Wouldn't have even occurred to me to ask for it but then there she was and she's so beautiful. Man like me don't deserve something so precious as her. I'll take it though. I ain't looking a gift horse in the mouth. I am thankful for the blessings you gave this family. I am."
He sighed and ran a hand over his face and just shook his head and returned his attention to the girl and new baby asleep on the bed.
"I got to ask something though. I do and you know I do. I don't know where my boy is. He might not've started out as my boy but he sure is now. You gave him to me, trusted me and I take that serious. I know I might've already lost him and I know I ain't the first father to lose a son in this ugliness. I told him not to go but he's pigheaded that one. This stupid fight already took my Noah and before that, losing Ike how we did…I ain't sure this old heart can stand burying another child. I'm only asking one thing. It's the only thing I need now. I know I ask daily to keep my children safe, the ones here and the ones who ain't. I'm asking you to send my boy home to us. He's got too much here and he's needed. Surely you can see that. This girl here and I mean girl…she was barely more'n that when they got themselves married. Her hope, her strength is all what he gave her, what he built in her. I don't know how sound that structure would be if he didn't come back to her. We'd come around her as best we could but I really don't see how she'd make it through. And this little girl needs her pa. He'd be so proud of her. He needs a chance to intimidate all the boys that'll be sniffing around a beauty like her. He deserves that. He does. He's a good boy. Just…bring him home to us. Take me in trade if you need to. I done lived my life. People'd miss me but it's alright for an old codger like me to go. Just, please, I'm begging, bring my boy home."
Teaspoon had nothing else to say. He watched the girls sleep a little while more and then pushed himself from the chair with a soft grunt. He made his way to the sitting room of the small cottage to find Addie asleep on the couch and Rachel laying out blankets on the floor. She looked to him in question.
"She's asleep," he told her, "Was when I got in there. I sat with her a bit."
He sighed and looked around the room as if answers might be found there.
"What do we do if…"
Rachel looped her arms around his neck. She knew some thought he was too old for her but she saw only the tender man inside and at that moment, he was so dear and vulnerable that if she hadn't already been in love, she would have fallen for him right then.
"We can't even think like that," she whispered into his chest as she embraced him. "We have to keep hope."
She stroked her fingers over his cheeks and kissed him softly.
"It's so late it's near morning. You need some rest too."
They lay down on the floor and pulled the blankets around them and he held her tight. She was there and certain and nothing else it seemed was at that moment. Finally sleep found them.
The sun was beginning to tinge the horizon pink to signal a new day when the lone figure rode toward the small cottage. He was dirty, his clothes torn and even burned in some spots and stained with his own blood and that of others. He was weary to his very core. He had thought about finding a place to make camp when the sun had begun its descent the night before but something prodded him on. He was so close so he nudged the horse along. The poor creature was as weary as he was and was barely moving at a walk when he neared the porch.
The man slung his leg over the saddle in front of him and slid down worrying for a moment that he'd been too long in the saddle and his legs would no longer hold him. But they did and he landed safely, only needing to lean for a brief moment against the horse that had brought him there. He took the reins in his hand and nearly staggered to the trough and left the horse there to drink a bit. He then headed toward the house and leaned heavily on the rail to make it up the three steps to the porch.
Looking at the place it was as if he was seeing it for the very first time even though he certainly was not. Quietly he let himself into the small home and stared in wonder at the people sleeping there. Tiptoeing past them, he made his way to the bedroom and slowly opened the door.
His heart nearly stopped at the sight before him. The woman slept with her brow furrowed as if some dark specter tortured her dreams and next to her slumbered a tiny infant wrapped tightly. Tears formed at the simple but divine beauty of the pair. He sat on the edge of the bed and lifted the babe into his arms. The child cooed softly as it was lifted and he froze as the woman stirred.
Heather opened her eyes when she heard her baby make a soft sound. She'd never slept soundly until Stephano was sleeping through the night. It was sure to be no different with this one. What greeted her though was unexpected. A man sat on her bed holding her new daughter in his dirty and raggedly clad arms. She blinked and looked again. Not just a man. It was her Billy. Her sweet, sweet Billy. She thought for certain it was a dream until his eyes met hers and he took one hand from the child and softly ran his fingers over the contours of her face as if he needed proof it was the face he remembered. He leaned and kissed her and the child made another soft cooing sound.
"I'm sorry I was late," he said begging for forgiveness.
"You weren't," Heather said softly, "She was impatient."
"She? I have a daughter? What do we call her?"
"I hadn't named her yet. I couldn't until you were here."
"What do you want to name her? What we talked about before? Another name from Shakespeare like Stephano? Like we said?"
She nodded, "Ophelia."
"Ophelia," he repeated as he lightly kissed the babe's head.
So, I had this whole series of stories planned as follow ups to my longer stories Restoring Faith and By Chance. I knew there were stories in the guys and their families. This is not what I thought the first story would be. But I was listening to music while walking Max the wonder pooch and Bring Him Home came on my mp3 player. I could see Teaspoon clear as day in my head pleading with the good Lord to not take another of his boys from him. For anyone who is not familiar with the story or Les Miz, in this scene our hero Jean Valjean is praying over the sleeping form of the man his adopted daughter has fallen in love with. He knows she is grown and while he was a good father to her, her happiness can now only come from the love of this young man. Anyway, I could see Teaspoon as Jean Valjean and hear him begging and pleading to not have to bury another...offering his own life instead. I don't think I spend enough time hanging out with Teaspoon. He is a dear man and he loves his family so deeply. There will be more Earlier Heaven stories...I promise. I don't know how long it will be before there is another one because I have a couple others to get to first. One long one to finish this month, one to write next month for nano and there's a lot about to happen in Livin' for the City. So in the meantime, think of Cody and Heather and little Stephano and Ophelia...and Kid and Lou with little Jamie and their new little one...I know what it is and you don't neener neener.
I love you all, you wonderful sweeties.-J
Bring Him Home from the musical Les Misérables (Music by Claude-Michel Schönberg and lyrics by Alain Boublil)
God on high
Hear my prayer
In my need
You have always been there
He is young
He's afraid
Let him rest
Heaven blessed.
Bring him home
Bring him home
Bring him home.
He's like the son I might have known
If God had granted me a son.
The summers die
One by one
How soon they fly
On and on
And I am old
And will be gone.
Bring him peace
Bring him joy
He is young
He is only a boy
You can take
You can give
Let him be
Let him live
If I die, let me die
Let him live
Bring him home
Bring him home
Bring him home.
