Jared
Disclaimer:
The following characters belong to CLAMP and are only borrowed for the fanfic.
I hate you, Mother, I hate you. Why did you have to leave me? Why did you smile to a stranger and not me? Why Mother, why? Why couldn't it have been me who fell down? Why Mother, why?
He looks like an angel, smiles like one, and is cheery and all, but he's not an angel, Mother, he's not. He's just pretending. Don't smile at him, please. Look, it's me, Idomu, Mother, your son. Don't you remember me? I tried to call you back to my side, but you never listened- you chose to go over to his side- and I'm all alone again.
Why Mother, why? Have I been bad? Is that why you don't love me anymore? Is that why you left? Is that why you preferred Nokoru- kun to me? Because I was a bad boy? Mother, please, don't leave me. I'll be good, really, I will. Stay Mother, stay… please…
I hate you, you monster. I played with you, took you as a friend, and you stole my mother away from me- you took away the smile and praise that was meant to be mine, not yours. You have your own mother- why must you take my mother away from me? Why did you have to fall? Why do you have to look so sweet and innocent that Mother liked you? You're a devil, I know- you're evil; why else would you take Mother away from me?
Please, I beg you, return Mother to me. Return her to me, I'll give you anything, anything at all. Please… just let me have Mother back- let me see the smile directed at me, let me bask in her approval, the approval I never had. Please, let me have that, even if it's just for a while… Please… won't you just let me have Mother back?
You have so much, and I really don't understand why you have everything. It's not fair- it's not fair at all- you who stole my mother away from me have friends, have the admiration of many, the brains and the looks to go with it… It's not fair, after all you've done your life is still perfect. I hate you, I hate you, I really do.
No, I can't let you be happy, I can't let you have everything. I must destroy you at all costs, I must have Mother back. Mother is mine, not yours. Her approval will also be mine. Mother will come back to me once you're ruined- everyone will come to me. I want to take away every thing you have- then you'll understand the pain that I felt, that I'm feeling now because of what you have done. And Mother will be so proud of me, won't you, Mother, won't you be proud of me? I would have won, been triumphant. I'll finally be better than Nokoru; you'll come back, won't you?
I'll do all this, Mother, all this and more, because… because I don't hate you, Mother, I… I love you. No matter what happens, Mother, even if you don't love me in return…I'll always love you…
Author's note:
I'm really sorry if I didn't portray Idomu's feelings well- it was the best I could do, and I tried to depict his loss and pain the best I could.
For those of you who don't know, Idomu is a character from the anime, who hates Nokoru because he felt that Nokoru took away his mother when he was younger. Idomu's parents split up and she had to leave, hence Idomu saw very little of his mother during his childhood days.
However, one day, while he was playing with Nokoru, his mother came to visit. In his eagerness to catch up with Idomu, Nokoru accidentally tripped and fell, causing Idomu's mother to turn her attention away from Idomu and tend to him instead.
In the process, Nokoru got a rare smile from her, which made Idomu very jealous.
In the end, Idomu wreaked havoc in CLAMP Campus, believing that if he destroyed Nokoru, he would be able to see his mother's smile directed at him. Needless to say, his plan failed. However, he soon realised that it was through forgiveness, and overcoming his jealousy that he was able to conjure up an image of his mother directing a smile at him.
This story was mainly a filler between his childhood days and when he actually set his plan into motion. ^_^
Hope that this explanation helps all you guys who were baffled throughout the fic. ^_^