Everything's Bigger in Space
DOCTOR: "Beautiful, isn't it?"
DOCTOR comes up alongside SUNNY, who is standing in The British Natural History Museum.
SUNNY: Yes.
DOCTOR: Terrifying as well.
SUNNY: Yes. I've had my share of nightmares about them.
DOCTOR: And what normally happens in these...nightmares?
SUNNY: I run. And I fight.
DOCTOR: Good. That's exactly what I need. Ready?
SUNNY: What?
There is a roar somewhere behind them. SUNNY looks at the DOCTOR, unbelieving. He looks down at her, smiles, then widens his eyes. The floor shakes. They both look back. A T-REX head peeks around the corner. SUNNY and DOCTOR exchange glances, grab hands and beginning running.
dooo weeee ooooo...INTRO...
SUNNY and DOCTOR slam the TARDIS door shut. DOCTOR runs onto console platform and begins fiddling. SUNNY follows close behind.
SUNNY: Was it real?
DOCTOR: Real enough to eat you, yes.
SUNNY: How- ?
DOCTOR: Did it get here? I don't know yet but I'm going to find out. I'm The Doctor, by the way.
SUNNY: Sunshine. Where are we?
DOCTOR: This is my TARDIS.
SUNNY: Tardis.
DOCTOR: Time and relative dimension in space. Yes. TARDIS.
SUNNY: And just how much bigger is it on the inside?
DOCTOR: Infinitely.
SUNNY: Cool.
DOCTOR swings the hanging screen around so SUNNY can look too. T-REX is still in museum, knocking cavemen over and chewing on the bones of the whale skeleton. TARDIS does a scan.
DOCTOR: Tyrannosaurus Rex, 26 feet tall, twice as many teeth, each as sharp as a razor, capable of speeds up to 72 kilometres an hour. First appeared on Earth 50 million years ago. Home planet: Pyraxis 7.
SUNNY: Sorry, home planet? T-Rexes were aliens?
DOCTOR: Are aliens, judging from what we've just seen.
SUNNY: What? What about evolution, the great wipeout, fossil records, all that? And the chickens!
DOCTOR: What about them?
SUNNY: They're the last living relatives of the T-Rex!
DOCTOR: Well, I don't know about that. Although it does sound like something chickens would boast about. But- yes, T-Rexes are definitely aliens, as well as all the so-called dinosaurs. Except Ichthyosaurs. That one was all-natural earthling.
SUNNY: So how did they end up here?
DOCTOR: Let's go ask one, shall we?
He's been twisting things and punching buttons and now he pulls the final lever, then runs to the door and pulls it open. Sunny joins him and peeks her head out the door.
SUNNY: Where are we?
DOCTOR: Earth. Triassic period, about where modern China will be. Come on, let's go explore.
SUNNY: What if they see us?
DOCTOR: They had very bad eyesight.
SUNNY: Smell us, then.
DOCTOR: We see just how intelligent they are and we try to reason with it.
SUNNY: And if their tiny little brains won't listen to reason and they try to eat us instead?
DOCTOR: We see just how fast we can run.
SUNNY: Fine. Let's go. But if I die you have to promise to take my body back to the Vikings.
DOCTOR: Vikings?
SUNNY: I've always wanted a funeral pyre on a boat. None of that buried in the ground nonsense. I want to be set out to see and lit on fit with a flaming arrow.
DOCTOR: Deal. You die, I honor you by clinking mugs of mead with Eric the Red.
SUNNY: Well, if I don't die we can do that too. I like mead.
DOCTOR: I don't. Blech.
SUNNY: But you just said-
DOCTOR: Never mind that. Onwards!
They scramble away from the TARDIS, up a hill and peer over the rocky top. Below is a landscape filled with moving dinosaurs.
SUNNY: This is amazing. I'm not dreaming this, am I?
DOCTOR: No.
SUNNY: Or going insane?
DOCTOR: Well, no more than you were before. I only pick people who are already a little mad to travel with me.
SUNNY: Finally, a trait I can put to good use.
DOCTOR: Well come along then, Mad Sunny, let's go walk with the extinct.
DOCTOR and SUNNY stand up and begin to pick their way downhill.
Cut to DOCTOR and SUNNY running like mad, their clothes dirty and torn, screaming. Some dino is pursuing them.
SUNNY: In here!
She pulls the DOCTOR into a crevice in a cliff side. The dino can't follow. DOCTOR flips open Sonic and looks at display. Then he uses the light to start forging ahead.
DOCTOR: Well, now we know that they are neither reasoning nor logical creatures and that your nightmares have served you well.
SUNNY (very out of breath): I have never run that fast in my life.
DOCTOR: Bracing, isn't it? Makes you feel alive.
SUNNY: Nearly being dead usually does that to a person.
DOCTOR: Yes, yes it does. I suppose we must continue on and see where this tunnel leads to. Or would you rather we take our chances with land-piranha out there and have another go at being nearly dead?
SUNNY: The tunnel, thanks.
They begin walking through the tunnel, led by the light of Sonic.
SUNNY: You said you were the Doctor; is that what I should call you? The Doctor?
DOCTOR: Most people omit the 'the' unless they are introducing me, then they stick it back on, but yes, you can call me Doctor.
SUNNY: Okay. pause Are you from the future?
DOCTOR: Well, yes and no. I've been to the future, but I'm from the past.
SUNNY: Are you human?
DOCTOR: No. I'm a time lord...
DOCTOR starts looking closer at the walls, running back and forth, scanning them, licking them, etc.
DOCTOR: The last of the time lords, to be exact. I travel the universe in my big blue box, having adventures and keeping everyone safe.
SUNNY: What do you mean the last of the time lords?
DOCTOR stops, turns to SUNNY with his whole attention.
DOCTOR: I'm the only one left. The only one still alive. My planet is gone, along with the rest of my kind. I'm all there is.
SUNNY: But you're a time traveller, couldn't you just pop back and see them whenever you wanted? Before they all died?
DOCTOR: No, not with what I did.
SUNNY desperately wants to ask him what he did but before she can phrase it nicely DOCTOR straightens himself up and turns his back on her.
DOCTOR: These walls...what do you notice about these walls?
SUNNY: Well, they're very smooth. But they have scrapes along them, the same on both sides.
DOCTOR: And the floor?
SUNNY: It's grooved, like something slides along it.
There is a loud noise in front of them, like a bolt being drawn back. The tunnel shudders; there is a large clang and then a scraping noise that gets louder.
DOCTOR: Full marks! Now start running!
They both turn and run back out of the crevice, followed by a large steel fence. They burst out right before it does. They watch as it extends out, stops, curves, and joins a similar fence that has sprung out of the cliff a few miles down. The dinos are all running away from what is now revealed to be a giant pen.
DOCTOR: This is new. And interesting, very interesting.
SUNNY: What do we do now?
DOCTOR: Now Sunshine, we wait.
They climb up the cliff a bit to an overhang and sit and wait. It isn't long before dinosaurs start appearing out of thin air inside the pen. Each time one appears the pen vibrates. The dinos enter surrounded by a light green haze and a 'whoomp' like when you open a vacuum sealed jar.
DOCTOR: Simple quantum materialization transference.
SUNNY: Like apparating. Or the transporter in Star Trek.
DOCTOR: In so many ideas, yes.
SUNNY: But they can't be moving themselves here, can they?
DOCTOR: Could be...but probably not. They were all running away from the fence when it appeared, suggesting that they recognise and don't like it. Most likely someone is using something to move them inside of it.
A large herbivore comes close by them and SUNNY notices that the dino is tagged or branded somehow.
SUNNY: They're cattle.
DOCTOR: What?
SUNNY: Look! That one has a marking on its right leg that clearly isn't part of its natural colouring. And if you look hard you can see it on the others too. Like cattle.
DOCTOR: I see it! Yes! Brilliant! But why? Who would want to heard dinosaurs?
A large, strange beast appears in the middle of the pen with someone riding it. What looks like a giant fishing pole is attached to its saddle.
SUNNY: Is that the magic wand?
DOCTOR: Quantum materialization transference catalyst. Yes, I would think so, although it's not like one I've ever seen before.
SUNNY: What are we going to do? Should we try and get this cowboy's attention?
DOCTOR: If we do there's always the chance he'll be even more dangerous than the dinosaurs.
SUNNY I outran a dinosaur and followed a strange man to the land before time. I'm game for whatever happens.
DOCTOR: If we live through this you and I are going to get along famously.
SUNNY: Well then get us through this, because I can't wait to see what else you've got.
DOCTOR: Okay, then on 3, jump! One, two, three!
They both jump off the cliff and onto the back of the herbivore that is still grazing nearby. Its back is too big to straddle so they just cling to it sideways. The dino bellows and begins to get agitated. SUNNY starts to slip off the side and can't hang on.
SUNNY: Doctor!
DOCTOR grabs her hand but she slips off. Somehow she manages to roll away with only a twisted ankle and not trampled by the stamping beast. DOCTOR cannot see this; he only sees as she slips out from his hand.
DOCTOR: Sunshine!
The dino bolts and DOCTOR hangs on. The cowboy soon pulls up beside them, readies his fishing pole and zaps the dino with it. There is a lilac haze, the dino calms down and The Doctor is knocked to the ground. He is standing up and dusting himself off just as the cowboy dismounts and walks up to him.
DOCTOR: That was not as much fun as I imagined it would be. And a less than graceful dismount, too.
COWBOY #1: Who are you?
DOCTOR: I'm The Doctor, pleased to meet you. Say, do you think we could go find my friend, she fell off before I did.
COWBOY #1: You've got no right to these beasts. I don't suffer rustlers lightly.
DOCTOR: Rustling? Oh, even has the lingo down. No, you see, I wasn't trying to steal one, I was just riding one. I needed to get your attention. My friend and I have been separated.
COWBOY 1: Your partner will be found and dealt with too, if my girls don't find her first.
DOCTOR begins to try and explain again but COWBOY1 knocks him down and hog ties him before he can get anything else out. COWBOY remounts, sets the control on the QMTC and zaps DOCTOR. DOCTOR disappears.
Cut to SUNNY. She is limping and it is getting dark out. She works her way back to the fence. She tries to keep clear of both dinos and cowboys. She watches as the dinos are herded into a large entrance in the center of the cliff between the two fences. It is too far for her to walk. The doors close. She realizes she must do something or risk a night alone outside. The fence begins to retract. She climbs onto it and rides it into the cliff.
DOCTOR wakes up, hogtied and gagged. He is in a very large cage, all by himself, with similar cages on either side. There is a dino in each one. He sets to work ungagging himself and succeeds.
DOCTOR (to himself): Corlowes don't eat meat and this technology is way beyond them, so they must be working for someone else. But who? Who needs so much meat that they would populate an entire planet with cattle the size of a lorry? Oh. Ohhhhh no no no.
DOCTOR begins to struggle fiercely with his bonds. Sonic falls out of his pocket and he picks it up, undoing the clasps around his ankles and wrists. Then he does the lock on the cage door.
DOCTOR (to Sonic): At least they didn't get you.
DOCTOR flips it once and sticks it in a trouser pocket. He sneaks out of his cell and begins to walking down the rows of cages toward the light. When he gets there he looks in and sees that he is in a very large meat processing plant. Dinos are being killed, strung up, skinned, and processed. DOCTOR is horrified. On the side of a crate that passes by is a logo and a name: Staarllas.
Cut to SUNNY. She is slowly climbing down the fence. There is a gap between the fence and walls that she follows further into the cliff. Eventually she reaches the end of the fence and a corridor opens before her. It is lit with safety lights. She begins to follow them left, drawing closer to the center of the operation.
SUNNY reaches a door and pushes it open into a room filled with cowboys that are resting, drinking and playing an alien version of poker.
SUNNY: You boys looking for a good time? I can carry a tune and do the can-can if that's what you're into.
The cowboys laugh as a big guy stands up and knocks her out. She wakes up with her hands tied behind her but sitting in a chair. There is a half circle of cowboys behind her and a large alien standing before her. His skin is leathery but covered in downy white hair. Smoke curls from his nostrils continuously, looking like a mustache. In place of eyebrows he has two horns that grow diagonally out and up from his head.
STAARLLAS: What's your name, trespasser?
SUNNY: Sunshine.
STAARLLAS: And you just a pretty little ray of it. What were you doing on my land?
SUNNY: Just looking around.
STAARLLAS: You're lyin'.
SUNNY: FIne. Looking around AND trying to talk to the dinosaurs.
STAARLLAS: (laughs hysterically- smoke bellows out of mouth and nose) All beauty, no brains, is that it? Now tell me one more time, and this time tell me the truth. What were you doing on MY LAND?
SUNNY: Joy riding. Dinosaur tipping. Take your pick.
STAARLLAS: So you deny trying to steal my property?
SUNNY: Why the hell would I want to steal a dinosaur?
STAARLLAS: Quit playing the stupid card, kid. Dinosaurs are worth a pretty penny and you know it. Now you couldn't be running this operation alone.
COWBOY #2: She wasn't alone, sir. There was another picked up earlier. He's-
COWBOY #3: (running in) Escaped! The prisoner escaped!
STAARLLAS: What? Find him! You never should have crossed me, girl. But I can't be too mad at you. My boys haven't seen good sport in a while.
The BOYS drag SUNNY to a large cage and throw her in. More of them start to gather around. STAARLLAS is brought over in a litter and set on a raised dais.
STAARLLAS: Now normally I'd pit you against a raptor, but that'd be over a little too fast. You look as slow as you act stupid, so I'll give you a break. This here is Zara; she's blind in both eyes and lame in one leg, so you should be evenly matched.
The BOYS lead a raptor into the cage. SUNNY and ZARA's bonds are cut at the same time. SUNNY doesn't try and escape because she knows they would only throw her back in. She stays as still as humanly possibly. A few tense moments pass. Zara is sniffing around the cage.
DOCTOR leaps out from somewhere and yells.
DOCTOR: Let her go!
He begins walking toward STAARLLAS as BOYS circle him.
STAARLLAS: I take it you're the other dinosaur thief.
DOCTOR: Thief I may be, but not of dinosaurs. Now, I'm giving you one chance, one opportunity to make this right. Release my friend and give us safe passage back to my ship and you'll never see us again.
STAARLLAS: You barge in here unarmed and demand we let you leave in a ship that is no doubt crammed with stolen goods? I'm beginning to doubt there's any brains behind your plotting. Boys!
The BOYS rush DOCTOR but he pulls out Sonic, fiddles with it and holds it up. All of the locks on all the cages pop open. Dinos begin to run wild. The BOYS ignore DOCTOR as they try to contain the loose dinos. SUNNY runs towards the door of her cage, which finally alerts ZARA to her presence. ZARA pounces on her but only manages to claw an arm before SUNNY rolls out the door and slams it shut with her foot. ZARA roars and DOCTOR uses Sonic to lock her in. STAARLLAS bellows and smokes from his litter, trying to command his BOYS. DOCTOR helps SUNNY to her feet.
DOCTOR: Are you badly hurt?
SUNNY: No, no I'll be alright. But I'm not sure how far I can run.
DOCTOR: Then we'll have to find another way out.
They begin to run out towards the field, see a saddled dino and struggle onto it. It doesn't move.
DOCTOR: How do you drive this thing? (He fiddles with buttons and dials. SUNNY leans over the side and gives the dino as hard a slap as she can manage.
SUNNY: Yah!
The dino shoots off. DOCTOR finds the virtual reins and begins steering. BOYS have mounted and begin chasing them.
DOCTOR: Take the reins!
SUNNY: What are you going to do?
DOCTOR: Go fishing!
He pulls the QMTC out of its holder and touches the nearest cowboy. A green light flashes and the cowboy reappears 50 yards ahead of them. He turns some knobs, repeats with the next closest. An orange light flashes and the cowboy disappears.
SUNNY: Doctor!
DOCTOR: Not to worry! I almost have it!
A blue light flashes.
SUNNY: Doctor!
DOCTOR: If I calibrate...and yes! That should do it!
A purple light flashes. The cowboy stops and his dino begins grazing.
SUNNY: DOCTOR!
DOCTOR: What?
SUNNY: We have a problem!
A T-Rex has come up beside them.
DOCTOR: So we do! Just keep going!
He throws out the lie. It barely phases the T-Rex. Again he throws it and the T-Rex stumbles a little but then picks up his pace again.
DOCTOR: This isn't working! We need a new plan. What would you do?
SUNNY: Me?
DOCTOR: Yes! You! Insane Sunshine who fights and tames dinosaurs in her sleep. Who runs with madmen and goes to museums alone.
SUNNY: We keep trying. See if you can't boost the magic with your Sonic. I have an idea.
DOCTOR begins using his Sonic on the QMTC. SUNNY pulls up on the reins and her mount stops shirt, the T-Rex just barely missing its head as he snaps sideways. It blunders around and comes at them head on.
SUNNY: Chicken.
SUNNY urges the mount forward and yells at the dino. DOCTOR takes up the roar as well. The fishing line crackles in a haze of many colours and at the last moment the T-Rex moves to their side. DOCTOR hits him with the line and it disappears. SUNNY slides down in the saddle box and sits, laughing. DOCTOR joins her. The line is dead.
DOCTOR: A game of chicken. Inspired, truly, but I rather thought we would goners. A smarter man might have dodged.
SUNNY: I never back down.
DOCTOR: Neither do I.
SUNNY starts to stand up. She is shaking.
SUNNY: Any idea where it went?
DOCTOR: I have an idea, but you're not going to like it.
SUNNY: The museum?
DOCTOR: Exactly.
They dismount. SUNNY gives the dino a good pat on the neck and thanks it for saving them, then turns it loose to graze. They begin climbing up the hill to the TARDIS.
SUNNY: So how do we get it back?
DOCTOR: If I could rewire the Catalyst then I could send it right back to Staarllas's fields.
SUNNY: But...
DOCTOR: But somehow linking it to the Sonic not only increased its power capacity but rerouted it to track us.
SUNNY: So no matter what you do the T-Rex will always end up somewhere we are?
DOCTOR: A disturbing notion for any common person but a most troublesome one for a time traveller. It will follow us, but not necessarily the 'now' us. It could pop up anywhere along our timeline, millenia in the future, distant planets, there is no way we'd know where it was until we got there too.
Pause in which DOCTOR fiddles with TARDIS and SUNNY thinks. When she finally speaks she looks depressed.
SUNNY: And if we weren't together?
DOCTOR: What do you mean?
SUNNY: If we weren't together. If we split up, who would it follow? You or me?
DOCTOR considers her for a moment. Not the question, but her.
DOCTOR: You can't think to abandon me so quickly.
SUNNY: I won't be leaving you. You'll be leaving me.
DOCTOR looks down, bracing himself against the console.
DOCTOR: You would have made a great knight, Sunshine. Sunshine the fearless, dinosaur hunter.
SUNNY: Would you be my minstrel and sing songs of my feats across the cosmos?
DOCTOR: I'd be your fool.
They hug; SUNNY walks out the TARDIS door. She waves as the blue box disappears. Tears run down her face as she makes her way back down the hill.
Inside the TARDIS the DOCTOR looks just as sad and nervous. He twiddles some things then sets to work rewiring the Catalyst. TARDIS lands in museum. He steps out and stalks the dinosaur. It notices him and begins to charge.
DOCTOR: I hope this works. Geronimo!
He hits it with the Catalyst. A light flashes and the T-Rex has disappeared. He smiles then runs full speed back to the TARDIS and frantically pulls levers. It takes off and lands back on STAARLLAS's land. He rushes out the door. He watches as the T-Rex gets up, recognizes its surroundings and lopes off.
DOCTOR: Sunny!
He runs, calling, searching.
DOCTOR: Sunny! Sunshine!
SUNNY drops out of a nearby tree. Her clothes are nearly ruined. In places she wears the clothes of the cowboys.
SUNNY: Took you long enough.
DOCTOR: Sunny! Sorry, I never was any good at punctuality. But if you must blame someone, blame the TARDIS. She's the one who brought me here.
SUNNY: She's not the one who left me here to die.
DOCTOR: It was your idea! Besides, you're not dead, so there's no use complaining.
SUNNY: Thanks for coming back for me.
DOCTOR: Anytime.
Cut to interior of TARDIS. SUNNY has showered and changed. There is a large scar on her arm where ZARA clawed her. It is not her only scar. She wears a long tooth around her neck.
DOCTOR: So tell me, how late was I?
SUNNY: I was there six months, by my count. I learned to sleep in trees and forage for food. I made dinosaur egg omelets and scratched the days onto the cliff face. When I needed new clothes I raided the cowboys and even rustled a few dinosaurs. Not a bad life, overall. But I also ran, and hid, and nearly died a thousand times over. If I never see another living dinosaur it will be too soon.
DOCTOR: So no visits to Pyraxis 7 then? Got it. What about museums? Think you could set foot in another one?
SUNNY: As long as it's not a natural history museum.
DOCTOR: Then I've got something to show you.
DOCTOR dramatically pulls a large switch and TARDIS takes off.
The End