It all started when I was younger. When I was seven to be exact. When I was seven was when I started to drift away from everyone I knew. It was back when I didn't think that anything I did would lead to any consequences. I was stupid for thinking that. Because now, I regret drifting away. Sure, I was only seven, but… seven year old me didn't know that it was going to be like this until I was seventeen. Well to be exact, until I met him.

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Flashback:

"Lucy?"

I didn't answer.

"Lucy?" my mom said with a hint of anger, "Are you okay?"

I stayed silent, not even turning to face her.

"Please…" she went back to her gentle tone, "Please, just answer me…" Even though I couldn't see her, I knew she was giving me her classic worried face. Like I would fall for that! After all, it wasn't like she was actually worried about me!

Then, she placed her hand on my shoulder. That was it! I didn't want her touching me! I quickly decided to say something.

"WHY WOULD I ANSWER SOMEONE LIKE YOU!" I said louder than I wanted to.

My mom jumped back a little, startled from my sudden outburst.

"EVERYTIME WE FIGHT IT ENDS UP LIKE THIS!" I continued the outburst, "WOULDN'T IT BE EASIER IF YOU JUST LEFT ME ALONE? YOU DON'T EVEN LOVE ME!"

My mom recovered from the shock and quickly replied back, "Lucy… you know I love you right? You know that no matter how many times we fight, I'll still love you, right? It doesn't even matter tha-"

"SHUT UP!" I slapped her and I kicked her. It was hard it enough to make her bleed. "DO YOU LOVE ME NOW?" I expected her answer to be no but…

"Yes, yes I do love you."

"WELL I DON'T LOVE YOU!" I screamed back at her. I quickly stormed out of her room and into mine. Still mad, I locked the door shut. I never wanted to see her again!

Then, I suddenly heard my mom's quiet voice talking to my dad.

"Jude…" She started, "Does she hate me?"

"Of course not! Just give her some time. I'm sure she'll come to her senses some day!"

"Jude…" She repeated, "Does she hate me?"

I could hear my mom starting to cry.

"Jude…" She started again, "Why is she suddenly like this?"

"I don't know why honey." My dad said as he was cleaning the wounds I gave to my mom.

:Flashback End

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Now, things have changed. I honestly regret everything I did to her. But does it make me bad that I only realized that until after my mom got sick? Is this just me showing pity? I honestly don't know.

''Lucy…"

"Yes?"

"I'm sorry…" A pale and frail lady gently sat up from her hospital bed, "I didn't mean to take you away from you friends. You'd probably be more happy if you didn't have to stay here… If you want you can just lea-"

"There is NO WAY that I'm leaving your side!" I shouted, "You're way more important than all those other things!" I can't believe she just said that! I love being by her side. Even if we don't really talk much, I still love it! Plus, it definitely beats being at school. Don't get the wrong idea or anything… I mean, I really do love going to school and talking with my friends but if I did go, I would just end up worrying about my mom and not be able to pay attention to anything. So, it's nice staying with her, because I know for sure she is okay!

My mom simply just shone her gentle smile at my previous statement. I loved that smile. It brought back so many memories… Though, it felt like she was flashing that smile more often than usual. Well, it probably doesn't really matter that much anyway.

"You didn't have to yell Lucy," My mom lightly chuckled.

I blushed a bright pink, "Umm… right… sorry about that…"

We stared into each other's hazel eyes. The shine in mom's hair felt like it was fading away and her eyes drooped ever so slightly. It pained me to see her in this condition. I wish that she could just drink some magic medicine and get better, but life isn't like that. Life wants you and others to suffer. Life wants to make you feel bad about yourself because you didn't spend any time with your mom before she got really sick. Life wants to make you regret all your decisions. Life wants people to die…

"Now now, don't look so down!" My mom said, trying to light up the mood, "A frown doesn't really suit your pretty face." Again, she shone her gentle smile. Why? Why was she trying to cheer me up after all I've done to her? I guess I won't really ever understand her, which makes me regret not spending much time with her even more. Life really does want people to suffer, but I guess that's to be expected. Just like the saying says, life really is unfair.

"I guess I should get going now!" I replied. I actually didn't really want to go but I also kind of wanted to so that I could escape this awkwardness.

"Oh, right! It is quite late out after all…" My mom looked the other away as if she also was trying to escape the awkwardness between us, "Tell your dad that I'm fine, okay? You know him… always worrying…"

"Oh, right! I'll make sure to tell him."

I quickly exited the room. I called my dad to pick me up from the hospital. I waited for about two minutes in the lobby and it turns out that two minutes is just enough time to make you want to cry. I cried right then and there in the hospital lobby. I cried. It was so loud my mom probably heard it. It was so loud that a nurse quickly came to my side to comfort me. I cried like there was no tomorrow. I cried until my dad came to pick me up… and that wasn't until 30 minutes later. I cried on the car ride home. I cried when I got to my room. I cried myself to sleep.

Life really is unfair.