Lelouch And His Jokes

by Thatyuriguy

A collection of yuri one-shots set into course by a single (sometimes two) sentences from Lelouch. Would be all-female but Lelouch's so serious (except for his "jokes" that always end in fanservice or tragedy) that him being the catalyst is inherently hilarious. Also I'd butcher his character if I tried to take him seriously, no matter how hard I tried, so...I didn't.

You know how in Code Geass every time Lelouch made a "joke" it ended in either tragedy or fanservice? I was looking over the cast of SRW Z2 Hakai Hen and I...I ran with that. The following are all one-shots based on that idea.

-Red and Blue

After a particularly grueling battle, Team Gurren retired into the battleship, with everybody else. Kamina could be heard shouting and Simon was standing outside the door looking confused. This got Nia's interest, so she walked over.
"Er, Simon, is anything wrong?"
Simon shrugged, unsure of what exactly was going on.
"Apparently Lelouch said something and Kamina's trying to prove him wrong. It's...confusing when you can only hear half the argument."
The door opened and Kamina walked out.
"Prove it! Prove there's nothing you can't make someone do!"
He yelled, pointing at Lelouch. Lelouch laughed, glancing at Nia.
"Hey, girl."
She blinked.
"Yeah...?"
Lelouch walked over, with a bit of a smirk before turning to Kamina.
"The red head...her name is Yoko, right?"
"Yeah, what of it!?"
Ignoring Kamina, Lelouch turned to Nia and stared at her face. His right eye started glowing.
"You're in love with Yoko and that will never change."
Nia blinked, a faint red now enveloping her eyes.
"I...I'm in love with her...?"
Lelouch walked away, leaving an amused Kamina.
"See Simon, some people are cowards who can't be bothered to back up their egos, even when said ego is a coward. Claiming he has such a power-hah! C'mon, let's eat."
The two walked away, leaving Nia there. Soon, Nia also left. Dinner came and went uneventfully, although Nia seemed to be looking at Yoko an awful lot.

Nia was in her room, struggling to sleep. No matter how long she remained there, she couldn't relax enough to fall asleep. Eventually, she got up and walked out, navigating the ship to Yoko's room. She heard Lelouch's voice inside before the door opened and he stepped out, ignoring her and walking away. Slightly confused, she entered to find Yoko looking out the window.
"Er, Yoko, can I...?"
Nia struggled to find the words.
"C..can I sleep with you tonight? I can't...and I think if you're there I...I might."
Yoko laughed, her gold eyes suddenly getting a red tint.
"Of course! Come on!"
She returned to the bed, rolling over to allow Nia space. Nia sidled up to the other girl, resting her head in the redhead's breasts and finding Yoko's arms around her. She fell asleep almost instantly, and in the next morning remained with Yoko, doing everything. And groping at her boobs occasionally. Simon and Kamina, for some reason, found this deeply disturbing. Eventually, Lelouch confronted them with a massive grin.

"'You can't do that!' he said. 'It's impossible!' he said. HA! Wanna know why those two're like that?"
Kamina, agitated, nodded.
"You saw what I did to Nia, and Yoko...I told to accept any actions or requests of Nia's, and to enjoy doing so. As you see, the two are now...!"
He grinned.
"Of course, I would have given myself a way to end it, but since you were so obstinate...!"
Kamina was not amused.