Snape accidentally infects the school's pumpkin juice with a musical potion, and rather interesting things happen…..
A/N : Something written at midnight. 'On My Own' is from the lovely musical 'Les Miserables'. I love you, so review? Please?
"Harry Potter."
Severus Snape stood behind his desk, delicately examining the various bottled animals on his shelves.
"Famous Harry Potter."
He sat down, propping his feet up on his desk as he tapped his fingers together in a brooding manner. Suddenly, as if a light bulb had gone on above his head, he was struck with an idea.
A wonderful, wonderful idea.
An idea so wonderful that he couldn't believe he had thought of it.
"I have thought of an idea so wonderful I can't even believe I have thought of it! I am a genius! A criminal mastermind! I am the pinnacle of intelligence! No one can ever hope to match my dexterity of wit! My nimbleness of mind! My-ohhhhhhh ahhhhhhh!!!"
His feet slipped off the desk and, his arms pin wheeling, he flipped over his chair and on to the floor and dragged half of his pickled slug collection onto the ground that shattered on his head and covered him in slime.
"Oh bugger."
The next day…..
"Why hello Professor McGonagall! Salutations, Professor Sinistra! What a lovely morning, eh Madame Hooch?" Professor Snape said cheerfully with something that horrifyingly resembled one of Gilderoy Lockhart's roguish winks.
He strolled amongst the staff tables and sat down with a flourish.
"Greetings, Professor Dumbledore!" he let out an indulgent sigh. "Isn't this the kind of day where you only want to watch the birds sing and say 'tra la la!'?"
Professor Dumbledore, for the first time in his life, was really, truly, scared.
Later…..
Hermione put down her goblet of pumpkin juice with a frown. It tasted slightly funny that night, as if something wasn't right. She looked at Fred and George for a moment, suspicious, but they seemed normal. Hmmm. Probably nothing.
Still Later…..
Hermione was slightly disturbed in Potions. Snape look gluttonously euphoric, and it was extremely creepy. She put down her Newt's eyes as she stole a look at Ron, who was laughing about something with Harry. He was so cute when he was happy……or embarrassed……or mad…….or just, well, all the time. Suddenly she felt the mad urge to burst into song.
The mad urge continued.
It wouldn't stop.
She couldn't control it anymore.
It was going to happen.
No….must…..fight…..
Tinkly music started out of nowhere, and a thunderclap outside before it started to rain.
And what was more, Hermione was suddenly wearing as beret and a short French dress, and holding a baguette.
"On my own….."she sang mournfully, looking over at Ron. "pretending he's beside me……All alone, I walk with him 'till morning."
Meanwhile, Snape was looking vaguely horrified. He looked from Hermione to Harry, from Harry to Hermione, his mouth gaping open like a fish.
Finally, it dawned on him.
"Without him, I feel his arms around me….." She leapt up on a desk, waving her baguette. "And when I lose my way I close my eyes, and he has found me.." She draped her arms around Goyle as her 'Ron', hugging him close.
Snape was hurriedly looking through books, cursing. This wasn't supposed to happen! He must find the antidote!
"In the rain, the pavement shines like silver…." Hermione spun to the window, looking out at the rain, her eyes glowing. "All the lights are misty in the river…." She wrapped her arms around Snape's lamp, as if it was a misty light in the river.
Snape jerked his head up with a horrifying thought. What if there was no antidote?! He watched Hermione rock back and forth with his lamp. Gulping, he flipped faster.
"In the darkness, the trees are full of starlight…." Hermione was now ecstatically clutching a potted plant on his desk and petting it like a cat. "and all I see is him and me forever and forever." A tear trickled down her cheek.
Revolted, Snape was in a state of utter desperation.
"I love him , but everyday I'm learning……." Hermione stood up, clutching her hands together and staring up at the sky. "All my life, I've only been pretending….." she belted out in true Barbara Streissand quality. "Without me, his world will go one turniiingggg…" she started to sob as the music swirled into a crescendo, "A world that's full of happiness that I have never-"
"Ms. Granger!" said a shocked and horrified voice. Professor McGonagall stood in the doorway, looking halfway between amused and scarred for life. "What are you DOING? Where is Professor Snape?"
Snape appeared instantly, looking quite sick.
"Oh bugger."