Title: Hate Me Love Me
Pairing: Blair/Serena
Rating: T just because of some swears
Disclaimer: I own nothing!
Summary: Blair and Chuck are going out and Serena doesnt like it and blurts out some of the wrong words. Set instead of Blair ending up sleeping with both Chuck and Nate because I have to admit, I really really hated her right then. So this is a different take of what if?
Blair dropped the phone with Chuck and sat at her desk ready to start working on her homework again. She smiled to herself what she talked about with Chuck was so unusual simply because what was there to talk about? Nothing really but Chuck always found something amusing to say. She would always laugh.
Honest to herself, she had to admit Chuck would have never been on her list of "To-date." He was too much of a player. But he acted when she acted. They had only started having sex because Blair was upset and Chuck had just been there. She wanted someone else but knew it wouldnt be possible. And now in hoping to spite the person, she started dating Chuck after all, they did have sex more than once and they knew each other pretty well.
"Blair," Serena called for bursting into her room. She had never been the type to knock on a door shes been through before.
"Serena," Blair responded drably as she looked at her computer screen. She couldnt bear to look at her best friend, knowing that in looking at Serena she would feel a sense of guilt. Serena's eyes had spoken clearly of how the blonde felt about Blair's relationship, betrayal, sadness, jealousy even.
"What are you doing with Chuck?" the blonde practically yelled.
Blair laughed and answered sarcastically. "Wow, Serena didnt know you wanted to know ALL of the details." She felt satisfaction as she evaded her best friend's questions.
Serena didnt know how to take Blair's crisp attitude. She paced for a second, frustrated, before dropping down onto Blair's bed and turning the brunette's chair around. The shorter girl almost falling out of her seat to the sudden force.
"Serena?! Shit, what the hell is wrong?" Blair finally said.
"What are you doing with Chuck?" she asked sharply. "And dont answer me like an ass. You know what I'm asking."
"I'm with him now. Obviously."
"You dont like him Blair. Hell you dont even have much in common with that spawn of satan."
"Serena, we connect. We find things to talk about. We go out to movies, dinner, we have sex." She didnt know why those last words had come out of her mouth. A flash of sadness crossed Serena's face. Blair knew deep down she wanted to throw it in her best friend's face. She wanted her to know what she could have had.
Serena remained calm and composed. "Blair, I think that with Chuck, you are making a big mistake."
"Just like youre 'mistake' in sleeping with Nate?" Blair couldnt hold back anymore.
"That was low." Blair returned a smug look like she didnt care.
"Blair.." she sighed. "Do you hate me?" Suddenly Blair gave a slightly troubled look. The question was low and blunt. She didnt know how to answer. Serena continued. "That's why you want to throw it in my face? You and Chuck. Both of you guys together, going on dates, having sex. Is that it? Because you hate me for sleeping with Nate?"
NO, that is not true. You idiot! Its because Im trying to make you jealous. Cant you see?! Blair's mind screamed. But she stayed silent. Her eyes patronized Serena, she refused to let Serena's pitiful look force her into saying anything.
"You do," Serena saw in her eyes. She held back the tears in her eyes. "You hate me Blair. After all we've been through together." Blonde locks fell from behind her ear along the sides of her face, making it look long and weary.
The brunette avoided as much eye contact as she could. Staring at her best friend but not looking her in the eye. She was speechless. What could she honestly say? Spill out the real reason why shes with Chuck? Confess all of her emotions? All of those things right in that moment? Blair never pictured it that way. She couldnt bring herself to do it because she didnt know how Serena would feel.
"Serena," Blair began but her words after faltered.
Serena interrrupted right where she left off, "I came back to you. You were the only reason I came back. If you werent here I woulnt have. How could you have not seen that? I wanted you and only you. I slept with Nate because it was the closest thing I could get to having you! Blair, I love you!" The blonde abruptly stopped speaking. She had crossed a line, which one she wasnt sure of. Blair could only stare at her in shock and before she could open her mouth Serena got up and quickly left.
The sound of the door softly shutting behind her, left Blair motionless. She sat in her chair, staring at the empty space where Serena had been sitting moments ago. Her last words burning into Blair's mind. I love you. I love you. Blair, I love you.
She said it, she actually said it. Blair thought to herself still replaying the tape in her mind. She said it! And I let her go. What the fuck, why couldnt I say it? She didnt give me enough time. I would have said it. Serena, I love you too.
Ooh Yay if you made it down here Im happy! Review it please!