Author's Note: okay, this is the part where I say that Grey's is the greatest show ever and that all the rights and whatever are not mine. I wish they were, but…whatever. Warning to readers: this is just the first part of a fan-fic I'm working on, so it might get kind of long, cause I've got lots of ideas floating around in my head, and there is nothing on tv anymore. Also, if you've seen the season finale you know that there's a kiss, so be forwarned; there is kissing in this story, eventually. Thank you!

Perspectives

It was a hard day when this crazy thing called love began. The surgery had been touch and go, and by god things should have been easier. Not that any surgery is ever easy, but I'm the best there is, and so is my team, so why wasn't it...easy.

I can see the doors now, where salvation awaits. All I need is a nap. I've been on my feet for hours. A few quiet moments, it's all I'm asking. Some sleep, maybe a glass of wine. That should get everything back to normal.

I stop just outside the door. Crap! What are those two doing sitting there? I can't deal with Sloan and Torres right now! I exhale a breath I wasn't aware I was holding, and sweep my eyes over the two of them. They're just sitting there, not talking, not really moving; only their chests going up and down as they breath gives anything away. Why do they both have to be in there?

I enter the room, and sit on the end of the couch. No one speaks, but a million things are being said, with looks, and the breaths.

"I know this is going to sound bizarre..." I hear myself speak, but don't know what I'm thinking, "but do you people want to get a drink with me?"

"Why would we want to do that?"

Sloan's eyes were saying even more than his words; the blue crystal of his irises were like shards of glass--they were breaking defenses I had erected for too many reasons so long ago--a lifetime ago--when I was a different person.

Torres's voice broke my eye lock with Sloan. "She's saying she needs a friend!"

-- -- --

Joe's was crowded; we were at a high table drinking. My glass of red wine sat idle between my fingers. What was I doing here? My stomach felt like lead, and my mind was anywhere but here. It's funny how things look when they are not under the glow of surgical lamps--like Torres's smile, the angles...or rather the curve of her cheek.

I quickly took a drink of my wine...I will not get involved with someone at work! That promise would always be there--a promise made in the hallway of a hospital years ago. Why now?...Why her? are we even friends? We were out together, but I wasn't with her. We were here with Sloan, and that made this a threesome; oh-but how I wished it were different. The cut of her clothes, and the way she was moving was so distracting, my eyes kept wandering over her, all of her. This has to be the stress of the day; the closeness of the surgery, anything but that nagging feeling I knew but refused to say.Sloan, just wanted in someone's pants, and at the moment either of us would do.

They're laughing now, I don't know why, I'm so lost sitting here. They should have just gone off alone. There's a sexual tension between them that I can almost taste. I lick my lips, looking at the two of them. I needed a reason to leave, an out, I had to leave...and quickly...if I have to sit here and watch Sloan rake his eyes over her one more time...oh-my! What am I thinking...that's Dr. Torres!

Beep...Beep. Thank God...A trauma...

"I'll see you guys later." I almost ran from Joe's; I was moving at a very quick pace jostling people as I went. As the door closed I noticed my face was wet. I looked up at they sky; not raining...and that's when it hit me I was crying...Erica Hahn, does not cry...I will not get involved with someone at work...I promise.

-- -- --

"Coffee"

I glance up to see Sloan slide the cup towards me. I've been doing these charts for hours, well actually I've been thinking about doing my charts for hours; as in staring at them but not getting anything done. He smiles as I bring the cup up to my lips, I don't break eye contact, because his eyes are the color of a perfect summer sky today; slightly mesmerizing. He looks good, and he knows it.

"Thanks," I say; "I really needed this." Actually what I really needed was to have my head examined; a good hour long session with the shrink upstairs, that's what I really needed, because somewhere in the months since my arrival at Seattle Grace I've been sliding closer and closer to the edge of a chasm. It's a place a promised myself I wouldn't ever come close to. My career as a surgeon has always come first; it's always been most important; it gave me my peace, my sense of purpose.

"Why don't just you and I go to Joe's tonight for drinks?" Mark asked.

Oh-No! "Mark...I mean Dr. Sloan. I try to stay away from relationships at work."

He shot me one of those knowing looks--like he could see and feel me sliding my body against him; and nothing would make him happier.

"You called me Mark...I think that's progress." And just like that he was gone, he just walked away. I wondered what he was really up to; and why in the world did I just call him Mark...there goes boundary number one: always, always, call people at work doctor followed by last name.

I close the chart, after all if I've been staring at them for hours and haven't gotten anything other, another couple of hours, or days will make no real difference. The light is soon to follow, and I press my fingers to the bridge of my nose.

"Erica Hahn will not get involved, in relationships with people at work." I say it out loud hoping it's the truth...the charts will just have to wait.

I walk out the door and towards the locker room...I'll go home...I can't get into trouble at home...alone.

I wasn't paying attention as I turned the corner, so as fate would have it I ran directly into Callie.

"Callie..." crap; boundary number one has flown the coup.

"Erica, hey; I was just heading home. Would you care to join me for some wine and girl time...I swear if Mark hits on me one more time I might just kill him."

I stood silently a moment, she'd called me Erica, no one ever calls me Erica...It's always "yes, Dr. Hahn, and Right Away, Dr. Hahn."

"Erica" she looked genuinely confused.

"Sorry, um...lost in thought." thoughts that should not have been there but they were; and they were going to be the end of Dr. Erica Hahn...I knew it. Somewhere deep inside. "Sure...umm...just give me some time to clean up, and I'll...uh, meet you downstairs, okay."

"Okay...hey...Erica, is there something wrong? Cause you could come over an other time if you've got a lot on your mind?

"No, I'll go...It'll be good to get some down time." yeah that all came out in a rush.. "I'll see you in a few okay."

"Okay"

I brushed past her, but not before a caught the scent of her shampoo, or maybe her perfume, or maybe Callie just smelled like a summer's day, in which I'm kicking back at the park, they've just mowed all the grass, and I'm eating ice cream sundaes with a cherry on top. Oh-Erica Hahn--you are in so far over your head.