Disclaimer: I do not own or claim ownership of any of these characters or the Twilight Saga. Stephenie Meyer is the legal and rightful owner to the Twilight Saga and the characters within them. This story also contains homosexual themes and story lines, so if that offends you please do not read further.
Acceptance of Fate
Chapter One
Following my brothers and sisters into the lunch room this morning, seemed different as soon as we stepped through the doors. Edward turned his head casually and smirked in my direction, and Alice looked thoughtful, like something unexpected had happened this morning. I knew, when she was surprised it had to be something completely new, someone she didn't already know. Then I heard the loud whispers the rest heard. A girl, we all knew as the gossip center was quickly breathing our story to a new student. Rosalie and Emmett proudly strutted to our usual table off to the side, of the bright fluorescent-lit cafeteria. It was the common meeting place every morning before being dismissed to the morning classes.
"The new girl is curious," Rosalie hissed looking toward Emmett as she spoke. He tightened his hand around hers' and smiled.
"Don't worry you're hotter," he responded shooting a sideways glance in the new girl's direction.
"Do I really look like I'm in pain?" Jasper asked fiddling with Alice's fingers not meeting anyone's gaze.
"Don't worry Jazz they think its Alice's fault," Edward answered chuckling at the face Alice made.
"But that isn't true," Jasper whispered smiling at Alice and wrapping his arm affectionately around her shoulders. His strength pulled her chair closer to him.
"You're not going to hurt anyone Jasper," Alice assured leaning quickly to kiss him on the cheek. It was almost fast enough to cause suspicion, but with us, the need to comfort the ones we love is a powerful feeling. So they say, Rose, Emmett, Alice, and Jasper. I had yet to know of such things, and since I cannot read minds like Edward I was still at a loss. I was younger than the others, I came to the family last. It has been a few decades though and I seem to fit in with the rest of them.
"They still think its weird that Carlisle lets you guys date," Edward whispered smugly. "Too much love in the family, so to speak."
"Not like we care," Rosalie snapped glaring intently at the group of gossiping students that seemed the loudest to me as I was tuned in to what they were saying just like everyone else. Hearing the last name most of us took, Cullen, was just something we couldn't ignore. It was important to note what people say about us, just incase we need to tweak ourselves to be more human. Fitting in was top priority for this family and we were all good at what we did.
"I'm getting sick of Forks," I stammered quickly. I leaned back, even though the act seemed foreign. Sitting straight up and statuesque was more natural. It was difficult to grimace and look human, instead of a monster. Even for our fair pale skin and due to Alice's teachings, casual fashion sense. We stood out though, no doubt about that. It was nice though, that people gave us all a wide birth. Getting too close to them was difficult, the warmth of their body and the rhythmic sound of their hearts. Even now, after all these years there was a strong pull to go near them. Draw them closer to our grasp, and to take their life. Not an easy thing to do, especially when you know you could get away with it here in Forks. Too many stray wanderers go into the woods, the Chief of police led many search parties a year looking for the lost. Those and the wolf people on the reservation, the ones that made sure we behaved. The treaty wasn't really necessary on our part, but the paranoid nature led us to it. It didn't soften our attitudes for them and it made us hate that we let our guard down enough to be caught.
"Brother it is nice to be in one place for awhile," Alice beamed still being held by Jasper.
"I know and the rain means we can mingle with these idiots more often," I stammered rolling my dark honey eyes. The loud crack of thunder that could be heard even through the walls of the building made me smirk. It never failed to rain or be dreary. At least the place was suitable for our way of life.
"So harsh this morning," Rosalie stated smiling. "Sterling, maybe this storm will hold up for us to play baseball after…"
"It won't," Alice interrupted; we were all looking at her before Rosalie finished her sentence. Alice could sense the future, although subjective. Things changed for her when new decisions were made. The decisions set in stone were the easiest for her to see. The weather doesn't change its mind.
"That sucks," Emmett growled frowning. The most competitive for physical tasks was Emmett. Built bigger than the rest of us, he scared the most people with just a glance. It would be nice to be as formidable looking as him. At least then I could scare the drooling admirer's away. His physical form didn't match his personality though. He was the most care free of the rest of us, the more casual in stressful situations. He was though, the easiest for Alice to read, since he made up his mind and always stuck to the decisions. I was the least easy to read, but I wanted it to be that way. I wasn't tied to the family as strongly as the rest of them. Although I loved them all as my family, and they helped pass the unending days, I didn't want Edward in my head and Alice always knowing what I was up to. As I was different than them all in a way that scared even myself and I kept up my thoughts as random as possible. Like doing calculus in my head, since I had the class anyway. Translating songs from English to all the different languages I knew. Things that kept my special brother and sister in the dark as to my true thoughts, and I only let those come to life when I reached outside their limits. Edward and Alice were both strong though, being older than I was. Their gifts were always getting stronger and farther reaching, so my small paradises didn't last long. I almost felt like a nomad at times, going as far as Southern Oregon or Eastern Canada when I needed space.
"Besides, too many days will mean we flunk," Jasper joked. We all chuckled at the inside joke he made. We had all been through high school too many times, but it was fascinating hanging around people like this. When we weren't the center of gossip and curiosity. It was better than being stuck inside a house or out wandering alone. The sense of normalcy was a strong desire for our family.
"Time for class," Edward whispered and the bell rang dismissing us to our first class. My first class, I hated. We all collectively tried to keep away from gym. Being so different would be difficult to mask when sports were involved.
"Torture," I hissed grabbing my gym bag along with my backpack and rushed ahead of everyone. I needed to change my clothes before everyone else got there. My smooth marble like skin would be too much for people to handle. I doubt I could even stand the stares. I couldn't read minds, but it wouldn't be difficult to read their facial expressions.
Like the first months had been, I got there first and changed into my sweats. Too warmly dressed for gym, but I needed to cover my body. Even clothes we wore felt cool to the touch when other people brushed against us. Our skin though, would be lacking all warmth a human body should have. So far we had been doing team sports that I could participate in, like volleyball. No one had to touch me in volleyball. I pretended to be uncoordinated and weak, hoping to be left out of the games completely, but the teacher never would allow that. Carlisle couldn't give us medical passes every day without causing an uproar with the teachers. We already missed school due to the sun. Humans not on their death bed, couldn't be sick every day. I grimaced when I walked into the gym, just now filling in with my classmates. There wasn't a net in sight. It had been shoved out of the way. What I saw was a rack of basketballs and I let out a sigh. Touching humans without hurting them was difficult, our bodies were too hard for them to be bouncing into.
"I think I'm going to be ill," I stammered walking up to the gym teacher Coach Clapp clutching my hard stomach in my hands.
"Again Sterling?" He asked studying me. I hoped my pale skin would get me out of it, but everyone around here had a difficult time getting tans. Another reason we liked settling here. His strong arms crossed and his eyebrow raised, I knew then I wouldn't get out of today's activities.
"Right, I feel it passing," I stammered glaring at the back of his head when he turned around. I went and sat on the bleachers waiting for the bell to ring, letting the class to officially start.
Everyone was seated, I a foot away from the nearest person when the bell did sound. It was a cold day, so I wasn't the only one in sweats, but unlike everyone, I wasn't amused by gym. Any other rare time, I would be all for physical sport, it was exhilarating and seemingly effortless. Basketball was difficult as I expected. We were divided up into teams of five, taking up half the court into this mini-tournament. I was on the team with people I didn't really know. I knew their names, well enough, but I didn't know them as intimately as Edward would in just a few seconds. I did realize though, that the losers had free time as the tournament went on, and with my teammates frowning I was the reason we lost. I didn't hide my pleasure when Coach Clapp told us to hit the bleachers to watch the other classmates participate. I went and changed back into my normal clothes and grabbed a book. I turned my back to the games and started reading a book that I had read a few decades ago. The library at the house did hold endless adventures to dive into, but even I, who didn't read as much as Edward was through them once already.
The bell didn't surprise me; I was well in tune with the time it took for class to pass. I simply closed my book and threw it into my clean gym clothes and smirked when I noticed my former teammates were still angry at the early tournament loss. My next class I shared with Edward – World History, a class that was offered every year of high school, just called different things to confuse students. It was a joke and if we could sleep, it would definitely be the class we would choose. We sat in the back far corner away from everyone else. Forks never had a full classroom, so we had space between us, we wouldn't really need it since we could almost communicate without words.
"The school is buzzing over Bella," Edward snorted when I took my seat beside him, next to the window furthest away from everyone else in the room.
"The new girl?" I asked sharing his facial expression. We were relieved that we were no longer the center of attention.
"She's making tons of friends," he answered chuckling his eyes intensely looking over his fingers. I watched him trying not to think about what I saw in front of me too much. It would give me away and he would get defensive. "I just hate that the locals make a huge scene over new people."
"Yeah," I grunted knowing he read my thoughts. Mr. Bryant started the class oblivious to the chatter that continued. He didn't care that he wasn't being listened to, he was just holding out on his retirement, since it was coming within the next two years. He would be free of the vacant eyes watching him for any sign of caring about not being listened to. It was an easy enough subject to talk endlessly about, plenty of theories, and names, dates, geographical locations. Made all the more boring by the fifth time being taught the same – never changing history of the world. For Edward and I, as the rest of the family, we've visited our fair share of historic locations.
"Have any classes with her yet?" He asked, but knew the answer before I spoke.
"No just gym hell," I answered humoring myself with a vocal response. He smirked knowing how I liked to hear my responses aloud, when he didn't need them. His gift, like Alice's was completely annoying.
"This morning, something strange happened," Edward whispered still staring at his hands. He seemed troubled and I felt a strong urge to ease his mind, which I couldn't read at all.
"What?" I asked how anything could be strange to anyone of us. We had seen it all, more than once by now.
"I couldn't read her thoughts," he answered grimacing again. He looked up at me and his black eyes told me that he was troubled about it. The thought of her being like us crossed my mind, neither of us could make out her heartbeat, with all the other hearts in the room, all beating at different rhythms. Different emotions having an affect on what their heart did, it was fun for us to make a heart flutter at times. It was a helpful acquired sense when we needed something, we could play their feelings to our advantage.
"Maybe she was just listening and not thinking," I offered knowing it was a stupid assumption. He smirked and rolled his eyes, but didn't comment. Just looked at me still completely lost. I wanted to look away and admit that I was completely lost when it comes to things with Edward.
"Its not like you, Sterling," Edward said causing me to study him. "Always hiding your thoughts from Alice and I."
"Some people want to be cloaked in mystery," I joked carefully, then instantly started reciting the Japanese alphabet mentally. He smiled and shook his head.
"Are you hiding something from me brother?" He asked reaching across the desk to nudge me in the shoulder. I started counting in Japanese then and looked down at my hands. It wasn't something that I could easily lie about, so I didn't even try. It was obvious that I was hiding my thoughts from them. Edward hated that he couldn't read my thoughts through the jumbled clutter I always had running through my mind. As soon as I had realized that it was his gift, I immediately started this technique. It caused him not to trust me as much as the others, only time filled the void, but I knew I was kept at a distance from the family because of it. I wanted it to be that way, so I didn't regret it, now it was just part of us.
"Same old," I huffed quickly through clenched teeth trying to keep control of my thoughts.
"One day you'll tell me voluntarily," he started then smirked, "or you'll finally run out of things to think about."
"Never," I shrugged unsure of the outcome. We had forever, and I had forever to hide. It did make me want to just say, so I would know. I had built a life around the Cullens though, being part of their coven. Not an intact part of their family though, but similar choices in diet led me to them.
"You're only hurting yourself," he hissed frowning. I couldn't deny that it wasn't painful to keep things from them. These were the closest people I had to family and I wasn't allowing that. It would last as long as I could hold strong though.
The tension around the two of us led to us both being surprised by the bell. A lot of heads rose off desks and a lot of shuffling of feet could be heard leaving the room. We had lunch after that. It was nice having the same lunch period as the rest of them. I could feel at ease around the whole group better than I could alone with Alice or Edward. At least then I could be lost in conversations and not thinking. It would be different though when we arrived this lunch period. As it had been a difficult morning for me already, compared to the boring other days. The cafeteria was still buzzing with the news of Bella, a lot of gossip surrounded her and I noticed that Edward was listening intently, to learn more about her.
"She's the Chief's daughter, Chief Swan," Alice said so that everyone else would be caught up to speed.
"Isabella Swan," Edward whispered and we all looked at him. He turned to us still annoyed about not being able to read her mind.
"Edward can't read her," Alice said and everyone looked similarly surprised, probably the same look I gave Edward when he first told me.
"Weird girl," Rosalie offered smirking, her perfect smile then spread across her face. She flipped her hair back and looked over at Emmett.
"Do you think she's dangerous?" Jasper asked peering around Edward to study Bella. He had always been paranoid when it came to the unexplained.
"I don't want to feel tense Jasper," I groaned feeling his energy wash over me, like it did everyone else around him. "She's a mortal she's no threat to us."
"Hush," Rosalie hissed. "We talk about such subjects at home and nowhere else, got it?"
"Yeah," I responded rolling my eyes. Noticing that Bella had been nothing but trouble since she arrived this morning. Even if none of it was her fault, being new and all. It still left me feeling annoyed at her and I frowned when I looked and caught her staring at us. A thoughtful expression plastered across her face, she was amused by us, that was easily saw through. I frowned and she looked back towards her fast becoming best friend, Jessica Stanley and her new admirer Mike Newton.
"Mike just called us freaks again," Edward chuckled looking down at his untouched tray of food. We all had trays, all of which we just dumped at the end of lunch. The smell of the food bothered our senses, but the façade had to remain in place. The conversation broke into pairs again, except for Edward and I. He was still learning all he could from the minds of others, all things Bella. I was back to reciting, this time annoying nursery rhymes trying to force some reaction from Edward. He did shoot me an amused glance, which I acted as innocently as possible. A few minutes later we all separated, back to classes.
The rest of the day went seemingly smooth. I was glad I couldn't read minds; the talk of Bella would've deeply annoyed me, more so than all the outward gossip about her. It was after school that I noticed the day hadn't been smooth for everyone else. When I arrived at the parking lot, I saw that my usual ride, Edward's Volvo wasn't in the usual spot. I frowned and waited beside Emmett's obnoxiously large jeep for the rest to appear.
Watching them gracefully walk towards me, I wondered how we really pulled it all off. I wondered just how blind humans were to us. There wasn't anything like us, nothing even remotely similar, but we settled into the crowd. People thought we were strangely too beautiful, but completely socially inept. That was the end of their thinking, no stray thoughts that Edward shared to make any of us worry. It was still difficult to believe settling would be this simple, but it could all change with one mistake. I couldn't shake the feeling that Bella would be our demise either. It was confirmed when Alice bounded up to me with a worried expression.
"Edward is going to visit Tanya's family," she whispered quickly. "He had a strong reaction to Bella."
"Bella?" I asked crossing my arms. Edward had been easily in control of himself, just like the rest of us, apart from Jasper who was new to the way of life.
"That's all I know, he rushed away from here because of her," she answered her eyes darting to the bare parking spot. The gravel was dry, where his car had shielded it from the misty rain that had fallen all day.
"Yeah I need a ride," I said and I opened the back door of the jeep and slid in. Jasper drove, while Alice road at his side. It took no time, once we were free of the school to get back to Esme at the house. Edward hadn't called and informed her of his plans and it worried her. She was the most nurturing person any of us remembered. Her troubled eyes always searched for any sign of trouble brewing within us. I wondered if she could see my worries, but she never let on.
"You're going for your alone time," Alice whispered looking at me. "Still a stranger among family Sterling."
"Yeah," I grunted frowning. Her small stature and large eyes made it difficult for me, just like Edward's grimacing when he knew I was hiding. Years of living this way was my only resolve left, but time with them was making that difficult. Even Esme looked hurt with the knowledge that I was running away for my routine time alone. It seemed to pain her more that I was leaving in a time when Edward was also sorting his troubling feeling through. It was big when one of us confided in Tanya's company, far away from our settled residence. It meant that we were running away from something.
"What if Edward needs you?" Esme asked and I felt a twinge of responsibility, but hurt, when she wasn't concerned about me needing anyone of them. She hugged me into her body though, and grasped the back of my head, I felt the strength of the hug, so I knew she put a lot of her strength into it. "Come back to us, soon."
"I always do," I answered trying to soothe her as best I could. Then I turned and rushed out to the garage. Like the rest of the Cullens, I too shared a love for cars. The faster the better for us all, although running would be easier. It was the one thing, human, that we had to do that no one complained about. I grabbed the keys to my Porsche, a dark blue, built for maneuverable speed. I backed out of the garage and sped my way down the darkening road. It always seemed to get dark early here, with the cloud cover, which we all enjoyed. There was still a chance of the mist from earlier in the day freezing into ice, but I didn't worry about that. With Edward headed to Canada to visit Tanya I didn't have as far to go, to get away from them as I usually did. I found myself worrying over him when I arrived at my favorite spot to think. It was a mountain ledge, completely secluded, but overlooking a vast forest. I could sense the animals below me, I felt the need to feed, which I would do before I left.
The thoughts that came to me were of my past, the last few years that I could still remember. They were clouded images full of people that I couldn't recognize anymore. I remember Maine with my family; I had just graduated high school. I was braver than usual, because I was alone and headed towards Massachusetts. I knew, more real than the images why I was going there. I was finally going to experience a part of me that I hid for so long. When I arrived though, stepping off the bus, I remember being nervous. Walking alone in the dark, not many people were around me. I had stopped at the bus stop away from my desired destination. I had the directions on a piece of paper folded in my wallet. It was worn from all the anticipated studying. I couldn't remember where the place was or even if it still existed. I couldn't find the paper.
I do remember though, when I took what I thought was a shortcut through a park. Someone calling to me in a whisper and I turned to look at her. She had dark hair, and now I knew what she was, what she still is. I hadn't understood what I saw then though. The marble skin and the dark eyes astonished me. I couldn't fight the desire to move towards her, even though she wasn't someone I would normally give a second thought about if we were to meet on a crowded street. She moved so gracefully, but quickly towards me and we met underneath a tree in the dark. When she touched me, I felt shivers run through my body and my pulse race. She reacted violently towards me and I felt the intense burning of the skin on my wrist. I was instantly blacking out from the pain that raced through my veins. The dizziness, I couldn't fight either. The dizzy feeling abruptly stopped though, with a growl coming from her. She slid me violently under a heavily flowered bush and slowly my consciousness came back to me. I heard heavy boots stomping around the bush, but the pain resonating through my body kept me silent. I didn't know who the person was and I didn't want the woman to return. It seemed though, that the heavy stomping couldn't belong to her. I was glad, but too scared to move or reveal myself. In the morning light, I realized I wasn't in the same spot. There wasn't a bush covering my form. I didn't remember blacking out, but this new place was even more secluded than before. I looked around and saw that something had dragged me, but that wasn't my only change. Everything had felt foreign to me. The burning had left me completely. I didn't feel healed at all though; I felt that something had left me. I looked down at my arm for any sign of the bite. There wasn't anything there, just a smooth skinned wrist, too smooth to have belonged to me, but I knew it was mine. I was alone, deep into some forest. I couldn't hear any street sounds, or people. My wallet was still in my back pocket when I checked for theft, but the whole ordeal seemed so far away and detached from my thoughts. I had worn glasses I remembered that. My driver's license had me pictured with a pair of small black-framed glasses. When I found them I realized I didn't need them anymore.
I didn't know what had happened, but I knew I had changed. That the woman didn't come back and kill me, but I knew I was close to death. A part of me wondered if I was dead, but my mind was still so alive. More alive than I remembered and I felt a power within my mind that I didn't understand. It wasn't there before, something else that wasn't there before was an insistent and intense sensation. A driving sensation that had me moving, but in a direction I wasn't familiar. A scent that I hadn't smelled before, but I followed eagerly, until I hit a sidewalk and I realized what I was following. I felt an urgent force pulling me towards them, but I had stopped moving. I realized then that I didn't want to follow the scent. Even though the intense thirsty sensation wanted me to propel myself forward. The sun, was what stopped me though. When it hit my skin, it blinded me and made me aware that I needed to conceal myself so I darted back into the forest and kept running, faster than I ever thought humanly possible. I went north, and when the air around me seemed cooler I stopped. I realized I was back in my home state. I didn't want to return home though, innately fearing myself. What I had become, I didn't know, but I knew I needed to stay away from humanity now. I knew, I would end up like that dark haired woman in the park if I allowed myself one step closer to the towns in Maine.
So I stayed and when the thirst was completely unnerving I found that animal blood was at least satiating me to a point where I could stifle some of my strong preserving instincts. I preyed on deer, knowing they were over populated in the state due to the lack of predators. They seemed to fear me, like they had learned that I was only there to bring them death. They couldn't outrun me though, and through the years alone I felt weaker. It seemed like a natural weakening, with my instincts wavering as well. For the longest time, I felt more human than before. I knew I wasn't though and that would never return to me. I had long since felt my heart beat or produced tears. Nothing came to me, human functions; things that took place daily didn't apply to me anymore.
I returned home one cloudy day, my home seemed such a distant memory, but still a strong part of me. It was during the day so I knew my parents were away, gone to work. I had wanted to return home, but finally felt strong enough to do so. The last thing I wanted was to be the killer of my parents. I didn't even know if they would recognize me. The clothes I wore that day had also went ragged with holes and dirt. My shoes fell apart years ago. The elements didn't fear me though, and I quickly realized I could withstand them. I was nearly naked when I bounded up to my room. I changed clothes, putting my old worn clothes in a paper sack. I later burned them. It was the pictures that haunted me. I recognized the faces, but not much else. I had already forgotten a lot of the memories behind them.
I had accepted what I became though. I had read too many horror stories and watched too many films to deny what I was. Believing that such things existed was difficult before the evidence had become me. It did surprise me though, how different the real thing was compared to the horror stories. I knew that we were indeed monsters, but we didn't necessarily have to be. And I wondered if people had taken to my type of lifestyle or if I had been destined to be alone.
My vibrating phone caught me off guard, I snapped out of my thoughts and looked down at the caller. When I saw Alice's name flashing across the screen I opened the phone and put it to my ear wondering what she needed.
"Family meeting Sterling," she hummed then hung up the phone. A family meeting was strange when one of us wasn't going to be present. I thought maybe Edward had returned, deciding he could deal with Bella. Not having to go live with Tanya for a few days to regain control of himself. When I arrived at home, I knew he wasn't there, his Volvo was still absent from the garage. It was Alice, standing there alone in the garage that had me worried. She had tricked me, this wasn't a family meeting, she had concentrated on me and I had given things away. If I had a heart, I knew it would be racing as she walked carefully towards me. I followed her to the woods, knowing things would change when she was finished dissecting her visions, the visions I gave her.