Could Have Been
Tomorrow.
Pansy's fist tightens and she feels tears burning her eyes. Tomorrow is the day when people will be mourning the lost ones. Tomorrow is the day for tears and hands grasping for solace from someone's warm skin. The pubs will be full of people and Firewhiskey will flow. Tomorrow is the day of misery shared by the whole wizarding Britain.
But the day after tomorrow is for hope, victory and peace. For better future, blue skies and happy endings.
Pansy glances to the Daily Prophet, eyes searching the picture of a little girl. The child is no older than a year and four months but has lost her father, grandparents and aunt in war.
Her name is Hope, and many little baby girls born during and after the war share her name. As Pansy has read through the birth announcements, she has seen Hope and Victor and Victoria over and over again, even few little Memories and one Remember. If the war had never started, most of those children would probably have different names. Some of them wouldn't even have been born.
If the war had never started, everything could be so different. Draco could be free of the shame that stains him, Vincent could be alive. She could have ended up with Draco and it could be him she wakes up next to, a smile on her face. Her reflection could look happy and satisfied instead of tired and fearful as May comes closer. Guilt could be a faraway thing, a word from books, not the thing they all have had to learn to live with.
Blaise walks in and she turns her head so she can see him. There is something in the way he walks that tells clearly he has been thinking the same thoughts she has, all the things that could have been but weren't. He rests his hand on her shoulder and Pansy closes her eyes, forces all her thoughts to go away just for a moment, feels only him.
To her surprise, Blaise laughs suddenly. It's a soft, short laugh, but she knows its melody by heart and presses her cheek against his arm. Pansy likes Blaise's laughter, has liked it ever since they were five and met for the first time. It was Pansy's birthday and Blaise's mother came to visit hers.
Pansy still remembers she had a new pink ribbon in her hair and a pretty pair of white shoes. There was a small conflict between the children, and those lovely little shoes got dirty with mud. Her lips started to tremble and tears flowed from her eyes, when Blaise forgot he was supposed to be sulking and told her a funny story about two rabbits. It made them both laugh and after that they played good-naturedly together until it was time for him to go.
Pansy didn't realise it then, but now she knows Blaise is a fire and she is cold without him.
She looks out of the window and sees the first butterfly of that spring flying gracefully, its pretty yellow wings fluttering rapidly. It's spring again after a long and grey year, a time for happiness and love.
Tomorrow she will wake up next to Blaise's warm body, a smile on her face. They will get through the day because that is what survival is.
What could have beens are nice, but what she has is much better.