Chapter 1: Big Brother in the shadows

I walk into my private study and see the neat stack of reports lying on my desk. Somehow the silence suits my current mood. Here I can let go of the smile and the cheerfulness that everyone expects from me. Here I can just be me, no pretending, and no hiding, finally free. Here I can allow myself the grief of losing my father. It was so unexpected that somehow it still has not sunk in that he is gone. It's been almost 6 months since his plane crashed and I had to take over the family business. Mother took it really hard. She really loved him. The twins barely saw him so their pain is not as poignant as mothers and mine. Although we thought it might have been an assassination, after all the investigation done by the police and my own people, there is no doubt that it was an accident.

I lean back against the couch and think about my friends. All of the members of F4 have been scattered to the winds. We do keep in contact and we call and e-mail, maybe visit once in a while but our lives are moving on.

Although Domjouyi still lives in Japan, he barely has time to spend with his friends. His time is taken by work since he travels a lot to New York for business. When he is here, he spends most of his time with Makino... I don't feel bad about that. God knows that I fought as hard as they did to make sure that they were able to be together. I can't help but smile because although they have been engaged for a year already, they still argue a lot. Though neither of them is as violent as they used to be... they seem happy and it seems that they do belong together. They balance each other out. I know that although Makino is a strong woman and can make me tremble in my shoes when she is angry; since she has been with Tsukasa, she has learned to lean on others for support. As for him, she has showed him not to take anything for granted. To him, money is now a means to an end, he wants those around him to be happy and instead of spending outrageous amounts of money buying things for people, like he used to, he spends time with those people he loves. He has grown up and thankfully, I don't' have to worry about him as much.

Rui decided to study in France before taking over his family's company. He has also grown up; he no longer depends on the F4 to solve his problems or to keep him company. He has a wider circle of friends and often brings them with him to visit us. It seems that his love for Makino has changed to a brotherly kind of love, and he watches over her as if she were his little sister. Last time I heard, he mentioned that Shigeru was also studying in France and that they got together once in a while to talk. The fact that he mentioned her at all should be something. Rui is not the kind to bring a girl into our conversation if she doesn't mean anything to him; but only time will tell.

Sojiroh went to England to study business... he has not changed as much as the others. He is still a playboy and I often get e-mails with pictures of his latest conquest, each one beautiful and knowledgeable of the seduction game. I know that I am not the only one he spoke with. He wanted to enjoy life and live it to the fullest before becoming a slave to work and family tradition. I always thought that Yuki would have been a good influence on him, but it seems that it was not to be. They seemed suited for each other but I guess it is better this way. I wouldn't want to see her broken and disillusioned.

As for me, I remained in Japan studying and working in the family business. After my father's death the choice was simple. It is what I have been raised for. I grew up around it and it is not a big deal. I keep tabs on all my friends to make sure that everything is well with them. I know they always act surprised when I show up or call them out of the blue whenever they are in need. They haven't figured out how I manage to be there when they need me. I know I should not have them watched, but as their friend, it is my duty to make sure that they are ok. I get periodic reports on their activities, most of the time I let them be but if it is something that might cause them grief, I don't' hesitate to act and remove the problem. Besides, what they don't know won't hurt them.

Which reminds me, Yuki has been a little down lately. I am sure it has something to do with Sojiroh's latest conquest. I will never understand how she can stand to hear from him about his conquests and bear it with a smile. I did not really intend to become friends with her. To me she was just another girl in love with Sujiroh, Makino's friend, the odango shop girl.

I kept track of her, because she was Makino's friend and I wanted to make sure Makino was happy. Yuki was just an afterthought. I read the first couple of reports on her and I was not surprised by what I read. She leads a very common life. She goes to classes and does ok. She goes to work and works a lot of extra hours. She goes home and hardly goes out. She does not have many friends, but is friendly with everyone. Each report I received about her included pictures and a detailed account of her activities. I stopped looking through hers. Eventually I just received a report if anything out of the ordinary happened.

After Sujiroh left, something changed in her. There was quietness about her... nothing really changed. Her routine was the same and yet there was something different. She grew up right before my eyes from one day to the next.