Summary: It's a strange comfort but when he's gone, it's all she'll have. 3397 oneshot.
Disclaimer: I don't own KHR.
N/A: I'm pretty sure I wrote this more than 3 months ago but I'm only posting it now, haha. First KHR fic. All the feels made me write.
-x-
There's a strange comfort in knowing that he doesn't tell her anything because he cares. She guesses the truth from everything she's seen until now. The injuries, the blood, the trips – they could only mean one thing- still, she doesn't say a word.
It's dangerous, she knows. He wants to protect her, and it sickens her to feel so helpless. She can become the reason why he would fight someone, the reason why he'd be in danger, and the reason why he could possibly die.
It was a great burden. A burden that she didn't want but she loves him too much, more than she'd admit.
She loves his enthusiasm, his extremeness, his big smile and his love for her. Those gentle eyes and that grin would just make her melt inside.
Her heart ached when she saw him love struck with the older I-pin years ago. Kyoko would ask often what was wrong, and she'd simply reply that an idiot pissed her off today – an oblivious one at that. It irritated her that she was irritated. She told herself that he may have been older than her, but he was nowhere as mature as she'd like. She wanted a mature man, didn't she?
But he changed. After a one-week disappearance with her best friend and that group of Sawada's, he was different. He had a different air around him, and it made her stomach churn. Her heart would race even faster than before and sometimes, she'd find herself thinking of his smile during school hours even more than before. It was like he grew up and finally started noticing that she wasn't just Kyoko's friend. She was part of his life too, even if just a little.
It was like a dream when he asked her out. He wasn't cool about it, in fact, he was yelling her ear off, and for some reason she said yes. She surprised herself, and felt her cheeks burning up when he smiled triumphantly at her.
"Damn Ryouhei."
She cursed him mentally. She never felt so embarrassed and ridiculously happy at the same time. She liked him – a lot. If she had known then what she was getting into, maybe she could have stopped herself from falling further.
She loves him, and he loves her. She decides that it's enough for now. If she left for his sake, her heart would break. But she knows she couldn't leave even if she wanted to. She knows that she wouldn't have the strength to leave after seeing the expression she knows he'll give.
She's happy that he doesn't tell her. He'd know that she's too aware of what is happening. He'd know that she tries to hold back the tears every time she sees him again. Sometimes, she wants to tell him not to go, not to leave her alone, not to make her worry that she'll never see him again.
But she stops herself.
That strange comfort is her only strength.
"Take care," she says.
"I will."
"He'll come back", she mutters to herself.
And she smiles because he always does.