AN:

Hi everyone! I'm so glad you decided to give this story a try. I know there are other stories out there that follow a similar story line, but I greatly appreciate the fact that you decided to give my story a try anyway. I decided to embark on this particular story line because I've been looking for a story like this for a while, but I haven't found anything I haven't previously read, so I thought I might as well write a story of my own. I hope you guys enjoy it.

For those of you who are fans of my other story, Can You Say Weird, I haven't given up on it, I'm just experiencing a little bit of writer's block. I'll update as soon as that phase passes, but until then I hope you enjoy this!

Disclaimer: I do not own VA or any of its characters. I do however, wish I owned Dimitri, but I unfortunately don't. Sigh. I do own any character(s) that may be new to you though. Hope you enjoy. R&R

**The prologue is set a month after the attack on the academy. Everything Richelle Mead wrote up until that point still happened. Expect Dimitri being turned.**

As I made my way from my dorm room to my before school practice with Dimitri, I couldn't help but notice the morose quality to the air. It's the type of doom and gloom feeling you get right before something horrible happens. It's the gut feeling you get when something you are powerless to stop is about to rip your life to pieces.

And that's why my steps faltered as I passed a giant coniferous tree ten feet from the gym. I had no idea what was going to happen, but I absolutely knew beyond a reasonable doubt that things would not end well for me today.

With that thought I slowly walked into the gym. As I entered my eyes had to adjust to the darkness that wrapped around me like a blanket. It was so dark that I couldn't see my hands in front of me. I couldn't see anything.

That's odd because Dimitri is normally always here before I am. With that thought I called into the darkness for him. "Dimitri." My voice sounded like a whisper. "Are you in—"

Again my eyes had to make an adjustment as the room was flooded with light.

When I opened my eyes I saw Dimitri in all his six seven glory crossing the gym and making his way over to me. As usual he had his shoulder length brown hair tied back in a ponytail. He always wore it that way during our practice sessions. In our line of work letting the enemy get a hold of your hair could be detrimentally fatal.

He came to stand in front of me and looked directly into my eyes. Or maybe he was looking into my soul because every time he looks at me I get the feeling that he's looking through me. And this time is no different.

We just stood there staring at one another for what felt like hours. He was the one to break the visual trance we had both been in, but not in the way I expected. I expected him to order me to do my stretches and then go do my laps, but instead he pulled me into him and wrapped his strong arms around my waist.

Before I could think of a witty joke, or ask him what had gotten into him this morning, his lips were on mine fast and hard. This kiss held so much passion I thought I would pass out, but I was definitely not complaining because normally I'm the one who breaks protocol and initiates the kisses, but this time it was him.

Not only did this kiss hold passion, it was filled with love. Yearning. Lust. Desperation. Then it was gone as Dimitri's lips left mine allowing us both to calm our labored breathing and pounding hearts.

"What was that for," I ask. "I haven't done anything spectacular enough in the past week to deserve that kind of kiss," I say, making a joke of the situation.

He gave me a ghost of a smile and took a couple of steps away from me. He then turned serious, and I was sure he was going to tell me to get started on my stretches and laps, but instead he said, "I love you so much, Rose. I love you so much it hurts."

That was completely unexpected, but I responded nonetheless. "I know, and I love you too." I was completely confused because I didn't know where any of this was coming from. Then I though back to the desperation in the kiss. It didn't lead me to any answers, but it did unfortunately add to my confusion.

His eyes drank in my body as if he was committing it to memory. Then he spoke. "You should probably sit down." He had on his guardian mask and his tone was even, but there was so much emotion in his eyes. So much so that I couldn't identify any one thing. I honestly don't know how it's possible to feel so much at once.

Then I thought about his words: you should probably sit down. The only time people used that phrase was when they were about to deliver bad news. Bad news they know you're going to have a sour reaction to. This couldn't be good. And the morbid feeling that dissipated while kissing Dimitri returned full force. Stronger than it was before.

"I'll stand," I reply, somehow wishing that by standing the severity of his news will lessen. My tone was just as bland as his.

He looked into my eyes willing me to understand the non-understandable. His eyes sent me a thousand messages at once: that he was sorry, that he loved me, that he wished I could understand, that he hoped I would someday forgive him, and regret.

That last emotion broke my heart because in that moment I knew what he was trying to tell me. It was with that thought that I took in his attire. He was dressed in jeans and a t-shirt. There was nothing wrong with how he looked. To be honest he looked just as gorgeous as ever, but his attire. It wasn't right. It didn't say I'm about to fight my girlfriend and teach her how to kill Strigoi. It said something entirely different.

He must have seen the understanding flash across my face or in my eyes. Honestly, it doesn't matter because he had seen it, and in that moment I wished I had taken his advice and sat down because right now it feels like me entire world is crashing down and I'm falling with it. Standing hadn't lessened the severity of the news, or the pain I would feel for that matter. Quite frankly, I think it made things worse. "Rose, I'm sorry." This time he slipped up and I heard the hurt and anguish in his voice.

I wanted to yell, scream, and kick something, but I didn't. Instead, I put my guardian mask to work. I refused to show him how much he'd hurt me. How heart broken I was, I am. "Do you love her?" My own voice surprised me because it was steady and strong. I think it surprised him too because he flinched.

The more I thought about it I realized it hadn't been the steadiness of my voice that shocked him. It had been my question. "Who," he asked as if he didn't know what or whom I was talking about. Or maybe that isn't something he wants to think about, but my mind wouldn't allow me to think that way because I wanted an answer. I gave him a hard look and something in him cracked under my stare. "I made this decision because I love you."

With that something in me cracked.

I walked over to him and looked him right in his eyes, willing my guardian mask to stay in place. "There is no way you made this decision because you love me. If you really loved me like you say you do, if you really 'love me so much it hurts'…" I say, using his earlier words against him, "…you wouldn't be doing this to me. You wouldn't have slept with me, told me you loved me afterward, and then do this." I think it shocked us both that I was keeping my tone down. "You don't love me. The only person you love is yourself. That's why you made this decision because you could get something out of it." I knew my words were completely unfair, but I was hurting, and I wanted to hurt him the way he'd hurt me.

"Rose, you know that's not true." When I said something had cracked in him earlier I wasn't kidding. It had been his self control because within seconds he had me pinned up against the wall. I tried my best not to look in his eyes, but he made that impossible when he lifted my chin up. In his eyes I saw the regret I had earlier, but there was a new emotion there too. Anger.

I don't know what he had to be angry about. He wasn't the one having his heart broken. That just made me angrier, but I tried my best not to show it to him.

"I. Love. You." His voice held every bit of the anger I had seen in his eyes. "I'm doing this because I love you," he nearly yelled, his tone expressed how ridiculous he found my claim that he only loved himself. "You don't know how hard it is to walk away from you. I don't want to, but I have to, so that's what I'm going to do." With that the anger and fight left him. "I don't love her. I don't even plan on—"

I interrupted him by raising my hand. I honestly, had and have no interest in hearing what he had to say next. I remember something he once told me. It was a while ago, to be exact it was during our stay at the ski lodge in Idaho. At the time it pissed me off, but now that I have a use for it it doesn't seem so…well useless. "What happens between you and Tasha is none of my business." I tried to muster the same tone he used when he said that line to me.

I didn't wait to see his reaction. I just pushed past him and hurried to the door because remembering that line also made me remember something else.

I told him he could and should take Tasha's offer. The fact that I gave him permission to do so hurt more than anything else because it made me responsible for my own heart break.

"Rose," he called after me. "I'm—"

Again I interrupted him. "Have a nice life, Dimitri."

And with that I walked away from the gym. Away from him. Away from my heart. Out of his life. Forever.

I hope you guys like my fanfic. I really enjoyed writing it. Tell me what you guys think.

Did you like it. Hate it. Let me know in a review.

R&R

Sorry for any grammatical mistakes you may have come across while reading this story.