Disclaimer ;

"I do not own FullMetal Alchemist"

IT'S JUST PAPERWORK!

It was a relatively normal day for Roy Mustang. As always, he would arrive to work early in the morning and immediately start on the endless amount of paperwork that had mysteriously found its way onto his desk, mocking him that the papers had to be filled in as quickly as possible or they wouldn't permit him to arrive on his latest date on time and, in the worst case scenario, he would have to cancel.

Today was no different, but instead of having a date for the night, the Colonel just wanted to return to his warm bed and sleep the rest of the day away, since he hadn't slept well for the last two days. But as always, life was not fair and always sent a little devil to him every now and then just to make his life more miserable and harder than what it already was. Today was one of those days, unfortunately.

And so, stifling a yawn, he greeted his lieutenant, who just happened to walk in his office holding more of his torture in her delicate arms.

"Morning Lieutenant."

She nodded in response. "Good morning sir, Edward's here," she announced, gently resting the new pile of paperwork on the Colonel's desk.

Roy groaned and let his head fall on his desk. "Let him in..." He sighed.

"Yes si-"

BAM!

"Hellooooooo Colonel!" greeted a rather unusually chipper Edward while closing the door with another, but slightly calmer bam. He casually made his way in front of the Colonel's desk.

"Good morning Fullmetal, what brings you here today?" asked Roy, his voice flat and showing no enthusiasm whatsoever about the boy's arrival. Let's get this over with...

Ed smirked. "Aw, come on bastard, you're not happy I'm here?" he asked as innocently as possible, the evil sparkle in his eyes betraying him.

Roy pursed his lips, carefully trying to figure out the blond's thoughts. He usually had this happy attitude when he had done something and wanted to avoid the consequences...

"Well, I don't know if I should be happy or not but since I can't see you over my paperwork, it doesn't really matter now does it?" Roy replied calmly, his signature smirk placed securely on his face while he patiently anticipated the young boy's outburst.

Ed's eyebrow visibly twitched, but he surprisingly forced a smirk on his face. "You bastard, I don't think it's really smart of you to insult me right now, considering the position you are in..." He trailed off and his eyes glinted evilly.

Roy narrowed his eyes suspiciously and decided to wipe the trademark smirk off his face for the time being. "What do you mean Fullmetal?" he asked cautiously. What had the boy done now?

Ed grinned wickedly. "Oh I don't know..."

"Fullmetal..." Mustang started, his voice dangerously low. If it had been anyone other than Edward, he would be spilling his guts already.

Ed snorted and extended his hands in front of him to stop the Colonel from continuing. "Fine, fine! I'll tell you so calm down."

Roy straightened in his seat and rested both his hands on the desk, wiping his face of any trace of emotion so he could take in the news professionally and not strangle the kid on the spot for whatever his actions had caused this time. Oh he had such a bad feeling about this.

Ed smiled nervously. "Well..." he started. Ok, now Roy was getting impatient, why was the boy hesitating so much?

"Yes Fullmetal..." Roy sighed, exasperated. He wasn't in the mood for this. He had two stacks of paperwork sitting on his desk, waiting patiently to be filled out today or he could kiss his lovely bed goodbye. Hawkeye would never allow him to leave if he didn't finish the paperwork on time. Hell, she might as well shoot him.

"I just came back from the mission you gave me," Ed said, seeming regretful to have even said anything in the first place.

"And?"

"I, um, let's just say I made some alterations to the town to catch the murderer."

Ed was now clearly taking major steps backwards, towards the door and as far away as possible from the seated Colonel.

"And what does that have to do with me Fullmetal?" Roy asked, keeping his calm tone and only letting a frown escape to state his confusion. Yeah sure, he was Edward's commanding officer, but usually all the paperwork that came with things like that was usually completed by the blond himself. They had agreed to that after Edward had demolished a church and brought a total of five stacks of paperwork to the Colonel's desk. Where was the kid getting at?

"Well...AL!" Ed shouted suddenly and rushed out the door.

The Colonel sat up, startled. "Fullmetal!"

He had opened his mouth to continue shouting for the fourteen year old to return, but stopped mid-sentence when a giant metal suit of armour came into view from the doorway with a huge stack of paperwork in his hands. He made his way silently towards the Colonel, only to pause once he was right in front of the desk and let the paperwork fall with a loud thud. Mustang's jaw dropped to the floor.

"I'm sorry Colonel, mine and brother's train is leaving in two hours and brother doesn't have time for this," Al apologised politely and then hurriedly ran out of the door to follow his older sibling, leaving the door wide open in the process.

"Brother, wait up!"

Roy stood there, completely frozen in shock and utter disbelief. He stared at the inhuman amount of the paperwork that once again demanded completion. This stack was way bigger than any other he had had in his life, it was just massive. What had that kid even done to the poor town!?

"Oh bastard! I can't even see you over the huge amount of paperwork!" a voice shouted from the hallway, poorly imitating Mustang's baritone voice. It was soon followed by an evil and satisfied laugh.

Approximately five minutes had passed until Roy managed to get over his shock, and with a threat from his lieutenant together with a heavy sigh, he resumed the painful signing.

"Oh, what I do for you, shorty..." he murmured to himself, a rare smile playing on his lips as he picked up his pen and started reading through the first of the many papers that awaited him. He mentally noted to get revenge for this someday but, right now, he couldn't really do anything.

And so, it can easily be concluded that Roy Mustang didn't get his so wanted sleep that day.

A/N And HEU HEU! 83 Ask me where this came from and the answer will be a very pathetic "I have no idea!" YEP. I wrote this at school today because I WAS BORED! Oh I was so bored it hurt. And that's why I decided to play around with Ed and Roy :3 This is most likely my worst fic; it was done really fast and I didn't really intend on working on it for long.

This is not yaoi. It's not really parental either, more like friendship? Or Roy torture lol. I felt really good getting away from EdWin a little and writing about my second fav FMA couple RoyEd! X3 Those two can be so hilarious sometimes XD

Sooooo I hope you enjoy reading Ed being evil and Roy being doomed with a so painfully large amount of paperwork! HAHAHA *grins evilly*