Green Eyes and Carnival Rides

There was something about green eyes that Patrick could never get over. Emerald tugged at his heart, mint clouded his mind, and teal taunted his soul.

These were some of the best green eyes he had ever seen.

Her eyes scanned the field, grass that was brown and tinged green at the edges, tall tents striped like candy and the Ferris wheel turning and turning and turning like a life that would never end. The city skyline faded behind her, looking as if she could take an eraser to it and scrub it all clean.

Twilight was heading, as it always did, into darkness and that made her feel better somehow, the lights of the carnival twinkling like the fireflies she used to catch in jelly jars, the orange of the sky mingling with dark indigo and navy. The faces began to blur too and the outfits and skin colours and hair styles became silhouetted.

The whole scene was beautiful really, and though she had been hesitant to venture there on the risk of seeing anyone from school, she was glad she did. She prayed a silent prayer that she wouldn't run into Chase, the footballer (the sight of whose hands curled round a pencil was the reason she was borderline failing Math), or Laura, his cheerleader girlfriend (who never hesitated to criticise anything she chose to wear as if she didn't already feel bad enough about it). That teenage yearning in her was more present than usual today; the carnival seemed to be weaving its magic on her gradually hardening heart.

The spell broke as Tommy let out an impressive belch and James laughed loudly and little Andy giggled next to her, his hand twitching in hers.

"Delightful" Teresa muttered, with a roll of her famous eyes.

"Can we go on that Reese?" Andy jumped up and down, his scruffy boots kicking up dust from the dry ground. He was pointing at the Ferris wheel and Teresa plastered on a smile.

"Sure bud. Tommy'll take you, wont you?" Teresa would never admit to her brothers that she was scared of anything.

Thomas pouted. "I want to go shoot" he gestured at a booth with little targets and guns that looked shockingly real. "Ferris wheels are for babies Andy. I'll win you a dinosaur instead?"

"I want cotton candy" James stated.

"How much have we got in the savings account Reesy Roo?" Tommy asked, bracing himself for disappointment. At eleven, Tommy was aware that the "savings account" was the back pocket of Teresa's jeans and that there usually wasn't much inside.

"Yeh, Yeh, Yeh, Yeh" James poked at his sister's arm, bouncing, a glimmer of hope in his eyes.

Teresa pulled out some crumpled notes, a few coins jangling together in her hands. Seven dollars. Two each then and maybe they could get some cotton candy to share with the last. As she explained her plan to the boys, she handed Tommy and James their two dollars, painfully aware of the bruising under the perfect pair of green eyes. Guilt stabbed at her. Usually she got in the way in time, this last time James had been unlucky.

"Bud?" Teresa looked her brother dead in the eyes.

James turned his head away. "I'm fine" he mumbled.

"Terrible fall wasn't it?" Tommy raised his voice a little higher than usual, taking his quarters off Teresa. "You should be more careful on the stairs Jim. Come on, let's shoot some stuff." They took off running before Teresa could move.

She yelled after them "Hey...come back!" then she sighed. "Back here at nine you little punks!"

Tommy turned and gave her a curt nod. She let them go.

"Guess it is just you and me little Lisbon" She squeezed Andy's hand. He nuzzled his feathery black hair into her bare arm.

"Reese, I love you" he said warmly and she smiled again. "Can we go on the Ferris wheel?"

Teresa's stomach flipped. Damn it.

"We'll see" As they walked, she pondered whether it would fine to put him on the wheel by himself. Andrew was soft for a little boy, often teased at kindergarten for playing with the girls or crying too easily when he messed up his numbers but apart from their family jaunts under the bed, Andy didn't back down from anything or anyone. All her brothers were like that, but whereas James and Tommy would punch and scrap, Andrew stood his ground with calm solidarity. He ignored bullies.

Maybe because he knew there wasn't a monster under his bed, because the monster came out of a bottle. Maybe because compared to being under his own roof, a seat high in the sky wasn't scary at all.

Teresa had lived a sheltered life before, a text book, story book childhood. Maybe there she developed her perfectly text book fear of heights.

She couldn't do it, leave him on the Ferris wheel. There were points in her life where she positively hated her brothers, points where she wanted to cry and bawl herself, points where all she wanted was someone she could crawl to and be held by, someone to feed her and wash away her tears. But she had to protect them. Always.

Their eyes belonged to her Mother and if not for anyone she did it for her. She made sure their soft skin didn't bruise, taking it for them and she made sure their young hearts didn't grow cold, covering their eyes and whispering excuses and fairytales at bedtime. She took everything for them. For Mom. For her Father.

Teresa and Andrew got in line for the Ferris wheel. She tried to shake the fear out of her head. It was stupid. So stupid. Teresa Lisbon was scared of stupid things like heights and what people thought of her. She watched the wheel with wide eyes. She feared the motion, round and around and around, never getting anywhere, always getting the same result. She longed for safe, neat endings.

"Reese you are all white. Are you sick?" Andy tugged on her sleeve. "You can still go on if you are sick right? Or you can wait on the side while I go"

Yes. Please.

"No I'm fine. Don't worry about me. You just have fun okay?"

Andy shrugged, trusting her every word. But as it turned out, Teresa didn't have to ride the Ferris wheel after all.

"I am afraid you are too small there young son" The Carnie was tall and spindly, with spiky whiskers and he was chewing the end of a long piece of corn. He tipped his patchy hat back to get a better look at the two of them.

"What do you mean?" Teresa asked, her heart sinking inside her.

The Carnie, seemingly from nowhere, pulled out a long ruler and stood it next to her brother. In dark pen, there was a mark on the rod and Andy's hair sat barely an inch below it.

"Close but no cigar!" The man said, twisting his mouth into a crooked smile, one tooth missing.

"Ah come on!" Teresa sagged. "He's nearly at the height. You can let this one go"

Andy's eyes were bright with tears not yet fallen, beautiful begging green.

"Please" she added.

"Nope. Can't have little boys on there, they slide right off and get hurt" The man said, leaning down towards the small boy, almost taking pleasure in crushing him. Andrew wailed. He directed his attention back to her. "You can hop on though Miss Green eyes"

"You're the devil" She hissed. Andy was now bawling so loudly that people were beginning to stop and see what was happening, sobs shaking through the little boy again and again.

The man winked and Teresa dragged Andy by the hand away from him and from the line of peering people. She crouched down to his level. The boy was close to hysterical, finding it hard to breathe through grief.

"Andy come on buddy. It's not the end of the world" She hated everyone staring. She hated his tears and the misery.

He continued "It's...not...fair" the menace and despair in his eyes was something she hadn't seen before. In Tommy and James, sure. But not Andy and it was finally getting him. She shook his shoulders.

"Andrew stop!" Her own heart was churning. He only cried harder. Teresa picked him up, gathering the tiny boy into her arms and holding him tight. He calmed a little and lifted his head to whisper in her ear.

"Everyone... hates me"

Her heart broke again "No one hates you"

"Daddy does" The words tickled her ear. A tear rolled down her cheek.

"No he doesn't. Remember what I told you? There is real daddy and there is..."

"Sad Daddy" He finished, relaxing into her and jumping a little with hiccups.

"And he loves you" She knew it to be true but she understood.

"And where is Mommy?" Andy sighed, closing his eyes and clasping a section of her hair into a fist behind her neck. He knew the answer; he just wanted to hear it again.

"She lives in a castle by the sea. Not Lake Michigan. The real sea. Somewhere that looks like California and she lives with Kind Jesus who we visit on Sundays and Saint Andrew and Saint Teresa"

"I love you Reese" He said again. She walked him away from the wheel, balancing him in one arm to wipe her eyes quickly. People had gone back to having fun. They were invisible once more.

"Come on. Let's go and win you something huge and fluffy"

He watched with quiet entrancement. The girl who had the most irritating iridescent eyes was shooting at Uncle Rick's stand, her face set into complete concentration, almost worthy of causing fright. Patrick had figured out early that she was about fifteen and too young to be a young mother, the little boy was her brother. She had handled him well when grief from recent trauma and a hard home life manifested itself in disappointment of not being allowed on the big wheel and she had premature worry lines on her face. This wasn't just a one off babysitting job her parents (or maybe parent) lumbered her with. She looked after the child often. As well as the two other brothers he had seen galloping off earlier. The girl had bruising on her arms. Someone had grabbed her roughly.

As a teenage boy who most often only had the company of his father and various other old men, Patrick was interested in the people who attended the Carnival, bright young things slobbering all over their boyfriends, hyped up children who had been raised in a two up two down houses and attended school, and parents with bank jobs and hair loss caused by stress.

Alex Jane gave the boy wonder half an hour break after the second of the three shows they would do that night to "rest that brilliant mind" and Patrick often spent them just wandering around, looking at the people he knew he would never be like, reading their stories as he passed them. Not once had he followed someone before.

He sat on the railing to the line for the circus tent. What was it about her?

She was doing pretty well, every little pellet was hitting the tiny red star and her little brother was looking more and more hopeful by the minute. But Uncle Rick's stand, the aim to completely obliterate the red star, was the only game at the carnival without a trick because it was impossible anyway.

Patrick knew everyone he travelled with; they all looked out for each other. The carnival folk were family; the "beloved guests" were for tricking. Except for some reason, nothing in Patrick wanted to watch the girl's disappointment when she hadn't won the game, or see the boy cry again when he wasn't handed a stuffed animal. He could read her just as easily as everyone, a green-eyed open book. But hidden between the sentences describing her arrogance and defensiveness and frown lines he saw the brokenness and the vulnerability.

She straightened up smiling, confident. Green eyes had thought she had done it. The game was cruelly designed that way.

Before Patrick could catch himself doing it, he had moved, jumped down from his perch and ran away from the booth, out of sight and then curved back around towards Shoot Out The Star.

"Well, sweetie, you have an aim on you!" She gave a little nod, trying not to be proud. Uncle Rick was a round, bouncy man with red cheeks and a kind smile that compared to Cyrus on the wheel, was easy to feel comfortable with. But Rick had always been close with Patrick's father and the young boy knew his other side, just like he knew every side of every smiling Carnie. He knew his secrets about his wife and his brother and what he kept hidden in his trailer.

Rick turned to retrieve the girl's card "Shall we...Junior!?"

Patrick had reached the booth and bent over pretending to be out of breath from a long run. "Sorry to bother you Uncle Rick" He straightened up "But your trailer, I just saw someone break into it. I tried to catch them but I couldn't" He wiped nothing off his forehead with the back of his arm. "Sorry!"

The Man's eyes had broadened and suddenly he ran off, pushing the tent curtain aside and wobbling as quickly as he could manage towards the trailer park. The girl followed him with her gaze, suppressing a giggle at the comic sight, and while she did Patrick darted behind the booth, grabbed her card and punched every single hint of red paint away leaving just perfect white. He slotted it back and was back by her side before she had even noticed he'd gone.

The brother, however, opened his mouth to rat Patrick out, staring at him with confusion. The boy wonder held a finger to his lips, grinned behind it and winked. It took him a second but the little boy figured it out and his lips cracked into a grin as he looked from Patrick to his sister to the huge green dinosaur hanging above him that would soon be his.

Green eyes turned her attention back to the booth and her brother, worry now colouring her expression.

"Don't be concerned" Patrick said, touching her arm to get her attention. "He'll be back"

She raised one perfect black eyebrow at the stranger, questioning in those eyes. He was as close to them as he would ever be and he took a few extra seconds looking into the endless emerald as he said "Trust me"

For some reason she looked like she did. And then he was gone.

By the time Uncle Rick returned, breathless and disorientated Patrick was sat back on his favourite metal railing, checking the position of the setting sun to see how long he had left before he had to report to his father. The big man picked up Teresa's card, saw the blankness of it and the two siblings' smiling faces and he realised what had just happened. Frowning deeply, his eyes scanned the field for Patrick. He waved from his perch as Rick handed the girl the green dinosaur of her little brother's choice and pointed menacingly back. As the girl and her brother walked away, Patrick felt different.

He had fifteen minutes left until he was supposed to be back and he was suddenly no longer interested in people watching. Hopping down from his railing, he wandered for a while, trying to clear his mind and conscience of the girl with the green eyes. An idea struck him.

Who was he? Certainly not Alex Jane's son. Maybe his mother was a nice person, he wondered as he took up a jog to his next destination, the sort who didn't trick others and liked to see them smile. After tonight he would try to be more like Alex.

"Hello my dear boy. Everything alright?"

"Yes sir" Patrick answered, the screams of the joyous Ferris Wheel riders above him, the machine itself clunking and grinding. Cyrus' eyes sparkled as he let the next set of people in.

"How is the show going? I'll tell you again my boy, Alex is a fine man for a father, you should count yourself lucky for the life you got here"

"I do sir"

There was a pause.

"Can I do anything for you? You seem to be hovering like a bee. I aint got no honey in my pockets I can tell you that right now"

"Well, it's about a girl and her brother. You didn't let them on to the wheel?"

"Ah. I remember. He had a hissy fit right there and then. Very amusing stuff. What has it got to do with you boy?"

"Well I was wondering..."

"That's never good"

"You could let them on couldn't you? I know the kid isn't going to fall off and die Cyrus and you know it too"

"What's this about son? You got a little crush" His eyes twinkled with mocking as Patrick smiled and gave him a tilt of the head, not denying but not confirming.

"You know carnie folk are carnie folk. Got a new family joining us on the road yanno? The Ruskins. Heard they have a daughter about your age"

Patrick waited, knowing that the old man would revisit the question. He was a selfish one, mean and controlling but easy to play because of his flaws.

"What does old Cyrus get out of this deal eh?"

"Well, what do you want?"

He thought about it for a second. "I want you to man my wheel in your breaks every night for the next week. I got some... things I could be doing with a little extra time"

"Done" Patrick grinned. Too easy. It was no wonder he got so bored so often. Well, at least now he had something to do in his free time. A teenage girl in the line gave him a smile back and he raised his eyebrows at her.

"Okay. Well, if they show up again I will let em on. I'll remember that girl I will, pretty little thing she is"

"Thank you sir. I will be back here tomorrow as promised"

Cyrus gave a grunt "You're a strange one Patrick Jane" He said "You just mind yourself okay?"

He had already took off running.

"You're late you little punks" Teresa cried as Tommy and James showed up, magic and sugar bright in their eyes.

"Oh wow! You guys won a Dinosaur? How? Me and Tommy tried for ages and couldn't win anything"

Andy cuddled the newly but not very imaginatively named Barney close as James grabbed at him with sticky cotton candied hands.

"D'you get on the...?" Teresa shushed Tommy before he mentioned the wheel and gave him a shake of the head. He screwed his face up for a second and then joined in James' admiration of the stuffed dinosaur.

"Okay. Well, time to go home!"

A chorus of disappointment and protest followed.

"Yes. You guys have school tomorrow. Hell, I have school tomorrow. And besides, I've exceeded my withdrawal limit on the savings account"

Tommy chuckled and corralled his brothers into moving and they began walk back through the Carnival, each one quietly bracing themselves for anything that could lie ahead of them. Not one of them expected Patrick Jane.

Teresa frowned as the blond boy from the Shoot Out The Star booth approached them. Who was he? A Carnie? You couldn't trust any of them.

"Boys let's go" She encouraged, turning away.

"I don't think you're going to want to do that" The Carnival boy said and she turned and frowned at him hard. Thomas, James and Andrew crowded close at her sides.

"And why not?"

"The Magic Lights Carnival would like to formally apologize for any inconvenience caused earlier by my dear friend Cyrus at the Big Wheel. Would any of you care to ride it now?" His eyes danced, mischievously.

"Yes, yes, YES!" Cried Andy. "Reese, please, please, please"

"We don't have any money left" She hissed at the blonde boy, not looking at Andrew's face falling again.

"Oh it's on the house" He looked from Lisbon to Lisbon "For all of you!"

Andy whooped. James let out a "yay!" and laughed loudly and Tommy's face stretched into a grin.

"Follow me" The boy turned and Teresa's brothers began to follow. Frozen, she took a second and then went after them.

"Wait! Is this for real? They can go on for free? What's the catch? I am not selling any of them to the circus"

The boy belly laughed. "No catch. Four free rides on the Ferris Wheel. I don't ever lie m'am"

"Don't call me that"

"Okay"

"Why?"

"Here at the Magic Lights carnival our visitors are our highest priority. If you're happy, we are happy" He lifted up the rope and let her brothers cut in front of the line. "Cyrus here is deeply apologetic for not letting you on earlier and we wish to make it up to you" He gestured to the devil and he gave a grunt, muttering "Mind yourself boy"

Teresa stood, stunned, the noise of the carnival all around as she tried to make sense of what was happening. The boy swept a hand out, ushering her into the line where her brothers waited.

"Um no. Thank you so much for the offer but they can just ride. I'll stay here"

"There is nothing to be afraid about" He touched her arm lightly like she did before and again she frowned at him. "A phobia of heights is totally irrational. Also, one of your brothers will have to ride alone if you don't"

This boy was impossible! Sighing hard, Teresa went. She chose James to sit by, squeezing in next to him on the seat, her breath quickening, her colour draining. The Machine began cranking, she heard Andy whooping behind her, loud enough for the whole carnival to hear and twisted to see if he was holding on to the rails.

"Here we go!" James yelled and they took off. "Wow. It's so cool isn't it Reese?" she felt James hand nudged her. "Why are you closing your eyes? Look at the Carnival from up here!"

Teresa un-squinted a little. Lights dazzled in front of her, colours and people and animals and sparkles mashed together to make a wonderful scene. The breeze tickled her face, James warm beside her and the bar she held tight too cold. For some reason, she calmed. She almost felt free up there. Safe squidged in beside James, but free like she was flying. She saw Andy and Tommy when she turned, their smiles and green eyes against a backdrop of night sky.

"Don't look down!" Came a voice from below. She saw the Carnie boy and she saw how high up she was and she began to panic again. Who the hell was he? Stupid Carnie Idiot. She was done. She wanted her feet back on solid ground. Wondering how many times the thing turned she looked down again. Blond carnie boy was gone. Good riddance. If she ever saw him again it would be too soon.

"Who was that amazing boy?" Andy trilled, spinning as he walked, still dizzy from the ride as they walked home.

"I don't know" She answered as they passed a few tents, one introducing the "Physic Boy Wonder" loudly. She pushed Tommy past the tent as he began to pause.

"You should date him Reese!" He elbowed her in the ribs and she flicked his ear.

"Reesy has a boyfriend!" James said and the three of them began chanting. "Boyfriend! Boyfriend!"

"Pah! No way little Lisbons. And if I was you I would shut up because next time we won't go to the Carnival"

They stopped, but they still walked with a spring in their steps and a few seconds later Andy piped up. "If the carnival comes back you will definitely take us again"

"Oh yeh, how d'you figure that one out?" She said, grabbing his hand and throwing her arm around James.

"Because you lovveeeeee us!"

Teresa smiled. "I do"

"And you love that Carnival boy"

Teresa Lisbon stared at herself in the bathroom mirror. She didn't know why she was doing this. Maybe to prove she wasn't in love with him, maybe to prove that she was attractive, maybe because she was bored with games and wanted something simple and easy.

She pulled at her green dress, the one she kept for the rare date she went on, as she walked back to the table. It was a fancy restaurant, he was a doctor, and she deserved this right?

"So Teresa" The man across the table said as she sat "The CBI huh? California Bureau of Investigation" he dragged the words out.

She smiled back at him.

"That is so interesting. Tell me, what made you decide you wanted to do that?"

Teresa hated these questions. She hated opening up, she hated touching her past unless she had to. She couldn't tell him that the only offers of comfort that she received herself on the deaths of both her parents were from the graceful, fascinating investigators from the police, that they were the reason she felt a little safer, knowing there was a force out there working in her favour. She couldn't tell him that investing in other people's grief and worries helped her to forget about her own. She couldn't tell him that it was the innate desire in her to protect people, civilians and families from bad guys; she couldn't tell him it was because she liked safe neat endings.

"Ah. Good story" She began, used to lying "This one time when I was a teenager I went to a carnival..."

"Oh I love carnivals. I used to go all the time with my family as a child"

"Well yeh" She said, shaken at the interruption "I went with friends, a no big deal thing" she sipped her wine. "And I went to one of those booths where you shoot the little star"

"Oh yeh. They are pretty much impossible hey?"

"Well I won. And I thought, hey why not put that talent to good use and here I am"